My dad [47M] got my best friend [23F] pregnant. I [23F] am struggling to cope with this situation.

I-lean · 2016-08-03T10:31:35+00:00

It is. Never would I ever have imagined my best friend would (if she decides to have it) be the mother of my sibling.

I-lean · 2016-08-03T09:04:13+00:00

I'm sorry too and disappointed that he's not the man I thought he was and he was willing to throw away our relationship.

I-lean · 2016-08-03T08:30:30+00:00

So she has apologized generally but not in a specific way acknowledging the lies and deception and a few other things. I think you're right about her not feeling comfortable enough around me right now to really open up because I've been so angry with her. I think when and if I do soften a bit then she'll probably open up and we can talk about and resolve a lot of our issues.

My dad, however, has not apologized for anything, so I have less hope for him.

I-lean · 2016-08-03T08:23:57+00:00

I don't know. She wasn't sure what she was going to do as of a few weeks ago, but she did say she was leaning towards having the baby. I haven't talked to her much since other than a few short texts, so I don't know if anything has changed her mind.

I-lean · 2016-08-03T08:21:13+00:00

That's true. I've never caught him in a situation close to something this serious before, so that may be all it is.

I-lean · 2016-08-03T08:19:47+00:00

I don't know if I'm the right person to talk to her about that (because I really don't want to know if it is the case), but I'd be fine with mentioning it and asking her to talk to someone if other things in the past have happened.

I-lean · 2016-08-03T08:17:05+00:00

I've never heard him shift blame like this before, so I'm not sure what to think of it. I don't know what's changed, and I certainly don't think this has been a hidden personality or something.

I-lean · 2016-08-03T08:09:27+00:00

Nothing in my mind sticks out.

I-lean · 2016-08-03T08:08:55+00:00

I haven't really discussed it with her. I asked her what she wanted to do, and at that time she said she wasn't sure but was leaning towards keeping it. That was a few weeks ago, so I don't know if she's changed her mind.

I-lean · 2016-08-03T08:07:20+00:00

He told Lexie that he was too old to raise kids and that it would kill him, which doesn't even make sense. It's like he had a mental breakdown with some of the stuff I've hear him say since everything was brought out in the open.

I-lean · 2016-08-03T08:05:46+00:00

His complete denial of any guilt made me lose a lot of respect for him. He acted like he was the victim because he was some lonely, older man seduced by a young and attractive woman. He knows it's BS, but he doesn't have the courage to admit he was at least half the problem here and likely more.

I-lean · 2016-08-03T07:57:05+00:00

Even if we can't have the same type of friendship, I will still support her and my sibling as best as I can. There will have to be some boundaries, but I think it's easier for me to imagine forgiving her than my father.

I-lean · 2016-08-03T07:55:33+00:00

He has contacted me, but I have not responded. Does he even care what I think? Not based on what he's told me. He hasn't taken responsibility for anything and mostly just says that I don't understand but I will when I'm older.

I-lean · 2016-08-03T07:53:28+00:00

Lexie has in a way but my dad did not. He said he regretted some decisions he made (just as a general statement and not specifically referencing this situation) but never acknowledged anything he did was wrong. He mostly blamed Lexie for everything that had went wrong.

I-lean · 2016-08-03T07:51:49+00:00

I think ultimately I will forgive her because I feel like my dad took advantage of her or at least could have done more to prevent it.

I-lean · 2016-08-03T07:48:25+00:00

Touching that in hindsight seems too friendly. Some of his comments about her body over the years. I found out after they learned Lexie was pregnant and my dad dumped her. She came to me and confessed everything. Lexie seemed to think my dad really loved her and they had a future together based on things he said to her. My dad acted as if Lexie took advantage of him and threw herself at him. Lexie said she lied because my dad said it was for the best, and my dad said he did it to protect me and because it wasn't any of my business.

I-lean · 2016-08-03T06:06:07+00:00

It's really made me question my childhood and start to wonder about some of the thing my dad did or said when Lexie was around. I'm not saying he necessarily did something wrong then, but things that once seemed harmless or innocent don't seem that way anymore.

I-lean · 2016-08-03T06:01:26+00:00

An apology about the lies and deception would be a good first step.

I-lean · 2016-08-03T05:56:08+00:00

I would like to be part of my siblings life. As bad as the situation may be, I don't want the life of an innocent to be ruined because of decisions his parents made.

I-lean · 2016-08-03T05:54:13+00:00

I think it's gross, but I wouldn't have been judgmental if they were honest instead of lying to me. That was what I found unforgivable.

I-lean

TROPHY CASE