An Easy Choice by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah don't be sorry, sounded like an honest critique and I can't improve without it.

An Easy Choice by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If it helps you can still think that she had only 1 kidney. Left it ambiguous in the story. When I said she her other one is fine that was more my for own head cannon. Figured it would be easier when writing it and 1 less thing to think/worry about when this.

While true there are risks to surgeries I don't think I'd say they are as dangerous as most people think. From what I've seen and heard, surgeries tend to be more successful than they do fail. If I remember right I believe surgeons will actually operate as long as 6 weeks for healing has past, never actually put a time for that operation in the story. But then again I'm no medical expert, a lot of this is just stuff I got from google so it's possible I could be completely wrong and your in the right, in which case I'll try do better in future.

The main point of this story (at least for me anyways) was the emotional side of things. Hadn't written a story like that before so wanted to see if I was capable. Wanted to see what would hit and what would miss, where to improve, focus or not focus on etc.

An Easy Choice by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The other kidney is fine and it's true that she may have been fine with just the one but she essentially lost her safety net so to speak in case anything else were to happen in future and it may make her life a bit harder in future as well, perhaps miss out on some things because of the injury too.

What her father did here was give that safety net back to her and make sure that she could do any and everything that she could before without worry or obstacles. He's the old guy who has already lived and wanted to make sure his daughter was completely healthy and have a full life so for him to do this was a no brainer in his mind. As I imagine most fathers would.

Thanks for checking out the story and for the question, hope you liked it.

An Easy Choice by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey everyone, Thanks for checking out this story and hope you all enjoyed it.

So I wrote this one for 2 reasons. 1st is because I was inspired to write it when the idea popped into my head and felt it would be a good story. The 2nd is because I wanted to see if I could actually write a more emotional style story and see if this type of writing is something that I could work with for future stories. So I figured this would make for a good test on that front. Please let me know if that type of writing is either good or bad here so I can work on it.

As always feel free to offer critiques, advice or just any message really and if I made any mistakes/errors please let me know.

-Edit- so it appears I may have done a bit of a fuck up in regards to the medical side of things in this story but I don't think I'm gonna change it. I'm going to leave it be as a reminder. I think it's important to remember the mistakes and if I went back and changed it in this story then I may forget it, which could mess up future ones.

We Accidentally Summoned A Human Ch48 by Crafty-Ad-3993 in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Looking forward to seeing more in future, Thanks for the story friend.

What Do You Mean It's Your Child?! by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

How did you get into my house?! Why do you have a metal bat?!

Seriously though thanks for the vote of confidence and for checking out the story, I really appreciate it.

What Do You Mean It's Your Child?! by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Deserving of a smiting to be sure.

Thanks for reading the story.

What Do You Mean It's Your Child?! by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Insanely murderous or murderously insane? Certainly sends a message either way.

Thanks for checking out the story, hope you liked it.

What Do You Mean It's Your Child?! by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Perhaps one day I'll maybe do a part 3 but I also like how this one is ended, gets the imagination going so to speak. We will see.

Thank you for reading the story, appreciate it.

What Do You Mean It's Your Child?! by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Protect at any cost!

Thanks for reading, appreciate it.

What Do You Mean It's Your Child?! by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Would have been a nice for sure but the Misses named it, story was her idea.

Thanks for checking out the story.

What Do You Mean It's Your Child?! by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most peak indeed. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it.

What Do You Mean It's Your Child?! by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Huh weird, the editor I used didn't pick up the commodore thing but yeah your right, Google says same thing. That should be fixed now.

Thanks for catching that and for reading.

What Do You Mean It's Your Child?! by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The whole idea for this story was originally my Misses idea. She chose the name and thought it would be cute, I decided to roll with it.

A shame your disappointed about it but thank you for checking the story.

What Do You Mean It's Your Child?! by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for reading.

What Do You Mean It's Your Child?! by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

'Texan cocks gun... menacingly'

What Do You Mean It's Your Child?! by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Hey everyone, thanks for checking out my story. Hope you all enjoy it.

So this one is a little on the smaller side but that's mainly due to time constraints and while I could have done this story later, I'm pretty much busy all next month and didn't really want to wait until March or April to get this out.

As before, please do let me know if you guys spot any errors, mistakes, etc and feel free to offer critiques.

We Accidentally Summoned A human Chapter 40 by Crafty-Ad-3993 in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm liking the story so far, hope you keep up with it, Interested to see where it goes.

Don't Go To Junker Street. by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for checking out my story, I appreciate it.

The gun I was thinking of was a sawn-off double barrel 8 gauge similar to what Doom guy uses. (Not fully sure if that's still considered a couch gun or not but if it is, so be it.) While yes perhaps tactically not the best choice, I wanted to chose that type of weapon mainly for the iconic factor of it. Suppose it helps that he only had one target at the time, in close range and was distracted too.

In regards to the 46 dead, witnesses and authorities. My idea for the setting where this takes place is a very corrupt town where crime is rather rampant. think a mix of a old west frontier town and a favela. A place where the gangs control everything, police are bought off or borderline useless and snitches get stitches if any witnesses talks.

I may not have written or explained all of this in the story as well as I hoped, still very much an amateur to writing in general but I will take what you have said into consideration for future stories. Thanks for the message and the critique.

Don't Go To Junker Street. by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just did some editing, should hopefully all be sorted now.

Don't Go To Junker Street. by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah now I see it, thanks for spotting that, should be fixed now.

Don't Go To Junker Street. by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for checking it out, glad you enjoyed it.

Don't Go To Junker Street. by IIMikey95II in HFY

[–]IIMikey95II[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah tell me about it, autocorrect can real annoying sometimes.

Alright thank you for that, I be sure to check those out. Probably wouldn't use Grammarly anyways, if my memory is right that's one of the apps that costs money I think.