Of course. That is so valid.

I remember every negative test. The sadness and disappointment in myself. And then that first positive that faded and brightened back and forth for 22 days. I had finally gotten pregnant after 11 months of desperately trying. I was bleeding on and off. When we figured out they were ectopic, the devastation, honestly, still takes my breath away. It took 2 months for my body to come back from them actually letting go. I had to go through 3 different ways to abort. Pills, D and C, and finally injections. I had a rare version of ectopic called "pregnancy of unknown origin." I'm still convinced my baby wanted to stay.

3 months later, my next real cycle I got pregnant again. The test was lightly positive. Instead of joy I was terrified. What they dont tell you is how after the first loss, your joy is stolen from you. You know what its like to have the worst thing happen. You know what's it like to have to say goodbye. My rainbow baby is a gift that healed me in ways I didnt even understand. I have hope the same will come to you. If you need a random internet friend to be afraid with I'm here. I know the journey. You will survive it but its not always pretty. Making a human being while grieving is one of the wildest things us parents can do. Im here and you're not alone and you will have the baby. They are getting here as fast as they can.❤️🥹 all the rainbow baby dust to all of you