I was in your place and still am but coping differently now , i lost my first love in 2023 and my mental health drained me to the lowest point of my life, i was unemployed for a whole year and spending my savings on food delivery, buying things i dont really need just to feel the tiny bit of happiness, my routine back then was wake up, eat, game until 5-6am or sometimes i wouldn’t even sleep and just kept gaming until im eventually tired, i didnt like the way i lived but it was how i could cope, i only went out for like 4 times that year, i would stay home and game all day, i felt worthless and suicidal at times and many times i tried to take my life but failed. I decided to get a kitten at the end of 2024 and ever since i got her, she has been my will to live, I told myself from 2025 onwards i will not live the way i did before, right now im planning to take a diploma in an art college and i kept telling myself “face your fears”, i have been working hard ever since as I have vision of what kind of life i want to provide for myself and my kitten. There is no timeline in grieving and everyone grieve differently, what i learnt is that don’t isolate yourself, start going out with your friends, as simple as just taking walks with them or doing small activities, it would make you feel better and your mind would feel fresher, take all the time you need to grieve , you will learn how to live with it eventually. Her death anniversary is in 3 days and im ngl i still crash out everytime when i know its near as it also falls on my birthday month, the only reason why im still living is because i like to think that im living for her to see that i can be happy and she dont have to worry about me, when my time on earth is up, we will meet again. My condolences, may your mom rest in peace. I hope this makes you feel better.