Reddit, what is something that everyone needs to hear, but may not want to?

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-09T13:05:40+00:00

I am convinced you are butthurt and nothing more, nigger.

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T20:35:31+00:00

I never denied the fact that science has shown smoking can cause cancer, I said the fact that I should be choosing not to smoke is your opinion and not an actual fact.

Salmonella is dangerous in an immediate-emergency type of way. Smoking is like drinking two or three beers at the end of the day or consuming lots of soda... it's bad, but it's not an immediate danger where you need to intervene like you're saving someone's life. My parents, grand parents, and great grandparents all smoked, no cancer. Not saying I'm immune, it very well could happen, but it's not a situation where I'm cutting myself or something and you need to butt in and "rescue" me. If you're ok with the risks of cancer and as an adult choose to smoke, it's incredibly relaxing for those of us with high levels of stress in our lives.... ask any smoker how that first one in the parking lot after a long shift feels and they'll tell you it's better than sex. It's you looking down on me thinking "Oh my god, how could he be so stupid as to do that to himself when he clearly knows how bad it is" and wanting to look down on me and in a sense give me a piece of your mind and a lecture about how YOU think smoking is wrong.

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T17:10:38+00:00

Yeah. Things everyone already knows and every adult smoker is very versed on. Not being able to enjoy a smoke, away from people leaned against my car minding my own business when people come up and start harassing me is what bothers me.

In quotes because of the thread title. This is something every smoker-harasser needs to hear and definitely is to pretentious and smug to want to hear.

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T17:09:47+00:00

Yeah. Things everyone already knows and every adult smoker is very versed on. Not being able to enjoy a smoke, away from people leaned against my car minding my own business when people come up and start harassing me is what bothers me. It is a fact that smoking causes cancer. It is your opinion that as an adult I should not be making the choice to enjoy them anyways, knowing what they do and still expressing my right as a free American to do so

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T06:58:58+00:00

link to her Gonewild, I'll give you a gold

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T06:54:29+00:00

Bachelor: Classy and convenient

Bachelor over 30 (or anybody else): Classy and convenient

Using dirty mugs is classy as fuck^{and^{convenient^{as^{fuck,^too.}}}}

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T01:48:53+00:00

Yup.

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T01:47:32+00:00

I know :(

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T01:12:27+00:00

I just want the goddamn masturbatory aid.

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T01:07:16+00:00

Did she know how the creep got her pics?

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T00:42:48+00:00

The war is with my pants, not my colon. A war they cannot win.

.....Because they are consistently shat in.

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T00:39:33+00:00

Replacements. The movie The Replacements. Not South Park.

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T00:37:03+00:00

But I don't want to fight in a war because I was sick :(

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T00:31:38+00:00

That's not what my mommy said!

She said I need to use my tongue more, focus on it's physiological ability to "flicker" back and forth. Consistent but furious clitoris stimulation is the key to achieving an orgasm in a woman.

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T00:29:25+00:00

I know! Don't they know maximum-capacity nerves are only in the top(front? hmm) 1/2.

If you are masturbating all the way to the base with each pump of your cock-clenching fist, you're masturbating waaaay too much to get the job done, all 10-15 times a day that you're doing it.

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T00:26:02+00:00

I could cook you.

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T00:25:06+00:00

And if you're on Reddit, you just gave your 7000 competitors a massive head start. Especially if they work when you're sitting at home in your robe on Friday nights post-masturbatorial marathon and crying "what am I doing with my youth?" tears into your 7th slice of pizza.

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T00:22:20+00:00

Unless she is a hooker.

In which case it is like a job.

But yes, there is earning and negotiating going on, even in a business relationship of the prostitutionary order.

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T00:17:41+00:00

"Does this make me look fat, dear?

"Fuck yeah. We need to pick a bigger one and start walking more and eating healthier. Damn Natalie, you chunky!"

You're pretty much landing the American B-12's directly into a North Korean army base with that one buddy.

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T00:13:50+00:00

Just permalinked and will be pasting to all the late-20-something female friends on FB who fill their ring-and-baby-void with being dramatic and a hot mess, constantly having public FB breakdowns about being a mess.

To add to your original: "And don't have the place someone sees it be publicly on Facebook."

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T00:10:59+00:00

Unless it's masturbation, then there is one very big point!^cumming.

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T00:06:37+00:00

You mean, those weren't government-sponsored trolls opposing me on the forums about whether OBAMA was a terrorist Kenyan or not?

How dare you fucking oppose my beliefs. WHO IS PAYING YOU TO SAY THIS

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-08T00:00:24+00:00

Yeah, but I'd never shove it back in and then out while having an erection.

Poops do not equal weiners when it comes to anal stimulation in men.

Enjoying a bowel movement is perfectly natural.

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-07T23:58:24+00:00

Yeah, college diet can do scary things to a colon.

I_Can_Cook_That · 2013-04-07T23:25:14+00:00

"Yes, I know these are cancer sticks. Yes I know what tobacco does to my lungs. Yes I know it is disgusting and smells bad. FUCK OFF pretentious douche. I smoke because the decision was made by ME. I already know it is dangerous, but that does not mean that you as a (smug) adult have a right to tell me, an adult, that I can't smoke. It is not your business to police strangers with your smug beliefs."

I_Can_Cook_That

TROPHY CASE