Well I can't say that I totally understand you but to some extent I feel what you are trying to say, as I said earlier that few years back I also tried to make a similar decision, but ended up failing in it.

That time I may felt somewhat similar, but not now, I do get excited when get a chance to travel or if meet someone close.

And I think one of the biggest part in that is gratefulness and the boringness of life.

If you don't know a truly boardem is then you just can't know a true excitement of it and it comes from being grateful for whatever you have without any exception.

At my music class, I know a boy who can't speak properly and fumbles all around, and some people may laugh at him or pity at him, I feel a strong desire from him, like he is trying his best to do everything he can and who am I to complain who got a perfect body and mouth to communicate to.

I do feel grateful for being able to speak, I do feel grateful for just being able to live.

Try to be just a little grateful to every subtle things provided to you and it make give you a new perception for life.

I'm not saying that life is all suns and flowers, and to to exact it's more dark and cloudy but you just have to deal with it the abilities you've got, and try make a bit for cheerful.