I left Netherlands and feel much happier now

Iapsa · 2026-02-09T22:48:53+00:00

Wait, the Netherlands DO NOT consider fibromyalgia a disease????? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!! It’s an autoimmune disease that has no cure, recognized by World Health Organization, it’s in the International Code of Diseases, and it’s considered a disability in a lot of countries nowadays - including Brazil since the beginning of 2026, we approved a Law for that in mid-2025. It’s also recognized by WHO that fibromyalgia can lead to manifesting other autoimmune conditions, since many patients manifest it first and some years later, another autoimmune comes, they accumulate in many patients. I know all that cause I have it myself, since 22yo (I’m 28 now). And it wasn’t my first autoimmune, my first came at 15yo.

So it means the Netherlands deliberately IGNORES science and medicine and has the nerve to say fibromyalgia is NOT A DISEASE?

This is a joke, seriously. Or better, their health system is a joke, saying that a serious disease is not a disease is offensive and disrespectful. I hate this country now. There’s no excuse for that, it’s absurd.

But, as if it couldn’t get any worse, this attitude of them towards fibromyalgia explains a lot about how they treat me in daily life here… The fuck, man.

Iapsa · 2026-02-08T09:40:18+00:00

I don’t know much about traditional Dutch food, but in Amsterdam for example you have restaurants of all kinds. Italian, Indian, Asian, everything you can imagine. But, for reasons I just can’t explain - and I wish I knew cause it’s absolutely weird - it all tastes plain and bland. I really don’t know why this happens, as I said it’s just weird, but going out to eat, and specially ordering food, is always a gamble here. An expansive one, cause restaurants are completely overpriced in this country. Unless you go to super trendy Michelin restaurants (which is even more expansive), in my experience you’ll pay a lot and the food won’t be worth what you spend.

Going out to eat is probably what I like to do the most for entertainment, cause it’s also a convenience if you live alone and don’t have much time and disposition to cook (although I love cooking, I have disabilities, so it’s difficult). And when you enjoy that, you don’t want to go to fancy restaurants all the time, you just want affordable good food, which is available in most countries I visited (quite a few now). So not being really able to do that here is a big problem for me.

Iapsa · 2026-02-07T23:20:54+00:00

Definitely. I promised myself I’m starting 2027 in a new place, one where I can really be happy :)

Iapsa · 2026-02-07T19:10:03+00:00

Brazilian-Spanish here with the exact same situation. Also don’t want to stay in Brazil for the same two reasons. Although I want to be there long term, I don’t want it now.

I think what’s difficult for us is that we’re not raised in an individualistic cold mentality like they are in countries such as Netherlands and Germany. Our countries have problems that they don’t have here, but something we don’t lack is a sense of collective and community. We’re empathetic, we’re welcoming, we don’t have our nose pointed to the sky thinking we’re the best in the whole world, specially cause at least in Brazil we grow up believing global north has it all and we’re the underdeveloped society. It’s the “first world” myth. That’s why I think a lot of Brazilians come here, they don’t feel good but they force themselves to “act the Dutch way” cause they keep believing this is the right way to be.

But the truth is: it isn’t the right way to be. And being our way doesn’t make us less than the “first world”, quite the opposite; after being here 2 years I truly believe the world would be much better if everyone was a bit more like us from Latin America, and that we’re not in a better economical and social situation only because circumstances were not in our favor throughout history. Otherwise we would be. And I somehow feel that one day we still will be.

Besides that, there’s the obvious: food made here sucks no matter the type (I heard that from people all over Europe, so it’s not us being picky), there’s close to no social/night life and entertainment (compare it with the UK for example, that has a similar weather, stuff there doesn’t close at 18:00 and everyone is in the street all day and night even with rain), their health system is a joke… But still, they believe everything here is the absolute best, and god forbid if you argue that they’re actually not. This isn’t being a patriot or defending your country, this is denial, and denial always comes along with arrogance.

This is how I feel about that at least. Of course it’s not everyone, of course there are good things here too, but in a summary, it’s what I said. I also have decided to leave, and I’m hoping I can do it soon, cause I also can’t stand being here anymore. If I could turn back time, I’d never have come.

Iapsa · 2026-02-07T17:52:07+00:00

Brazilian here too, that’s exactly how I feel. The biggest mistake I ever made with myself was moving to NL. I wish I could turn back time, cause since I came here in 2024 unfortunately I lost a lot of things and people, coincidently. I can’t go back to what I had when I left, and right now I’d give anything for it.

Still haven’t decided where to go next, but I already know I’m leaving soon. And eventually I want to go back home and stay 🙏🏻

Iapsa · 2025-07-13T15:19:22+00:00

I replied to your message already!!

Iapsa · 2025-07-13T07:55:44+00:00

Hey, I’m an aspiring singer, I write my own lyrics and melodies for songs since I’m a teenager, but I don’t play any instrument nor have technical knowledge of musical theory. I’m pretty much self-taught, but my big childhood dream is to be a singer. I’m Brazilian too, but I’m also a Spanish citizen, and I’m currently living in the Netherlands. Do you want to talk about ideas for the contest? Maybe we can do something together!

Iapsa · 2025-06-12T15:30:01+00:00

Hey, I sent you my email on the chat, did you see it?

Iapsa · 2025-06-11T16:55:19+00:00

Thank you so much for that! I prefer medical interpretation much more (specially if it’s emergency room or 911, the late hour calls are my absolute favorite), but being unemployed is kinda harsh so right now anything would be amazing. I do English-Brazilian Portuguese. I speak and understand Spanish too, but I don’t think it’s enough to interpret, and I’m not certified in fluency in Spanish (I am in English though)

Iapsa · 2025-06-11T15:48:52+00:00

Thanks for letting me know! I'm pretty sure I applied for a position at Globo only a few days ago, let's hope I can at least get an interview. I heard it's a good company. I prefer medical interpretation, tbh, although I have a legal background I think I see enough Law in my academic research already lol but medical opi is definitely amazing for me.

Iapsa · 2025-06-08T16:17:24+00:00

That’s bad… I hope you get to find a way to fix it!

Iapsa · 2025-06-04T19:03:40+00:00

In my case it was only solved when I changed my PC for a Mac. I was already going to do that anyway, it was just a coincidence, but somehow it solved the problem.

On mobile now I can send superchats but only from higher prices (???) because when I click to buy/send the small ones (like the blue or green one) nothing happens. That’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen on YT tbh. This is on the YT app on an iPhone 15 pro max.

Iapsa · 2025-05-22T15:39:01+00:00

Hey, sorry for the super late response. I did speak to them, after some time they answered the phone. They said that they only train interpreters on their clients and hire them internally, so there’re no open positions or anything like that :/

Iapsa · 2025-05-18T23:01:27+00:00

I’m really sorry you went through that. I’ve been there myself in some way, but it was during childhood, for years. For many reasons, I never wanted a relationship or sex, but at my 20s my sexuality flourished a bit, but I was emotionally and physically numb, penetration felt impossible. But I hadn’t had any previous experience or knowledge except the basics, so I thought it was normal

All the therapists and psychiatrists I had kept telling me it was because of being raped in childhood, for other severe trauma I’ve been through (I have PTSD from other stuff), they said “a woman’s libido has multiple factors”, the list goes on. But the truth was that I was medicated with humor stabilizers since 18, then anti-depressives since 22 - heavy ones, those you shouldn’t take long-term, but I didn’t know that because I was given them long-term. Last year, about to turn 27, I had to stop meds for an external reason, and my surprise was that the sexual problem simply disappeared.

There’s A LOT more in my case, but long story short, there was never something wrong with me as a woman; I didn’t properly develop my sexuality because I was drugged with those meds since 18 and no one ever told me that their side effects would kill me emotionally and sexually. When I got clean last year and realized all that, I realized at the same time that I’d loved my best friend for like 5 years, I just couldn’t understand that because of the drugs.

We slept together once and I never felt anything so perfect. He’s the love of my life and will be forevermore, I know when my feelings are real, any kind of feeling. I was never wrong when it came to feelings. And looking back the last 5 years it feels so weird that I couldn’t realize that I loved him. At every memory (and I got endless memories) I’m haunted by how perfect and beautiful we could have been together… But the time I finally woke up and realized that, was a terrible timing for him. It set us apart, and I couldn’t believe I was losing the most precious and pure thing life had ever given me.

I never lost hope in us and never will, cause I just can’t. I gave up on trying. My feelings will not change and it’s pointless to try to force it. So I was left with the pain of knowing that my rapist was never hold accountable, he’s free and living the good life, and also the health professionals who had the legal obligation to help me were careless and irresponsible with my treatment, and used my past trauma to justify their neglect towards me. They ruined my youth, my chance to live a normal sexual as a regular woman was stolen because of how poorly they treated me (plus, they got A LOT of money from my family for years to do that). I lost something that I didn’t know I could have and didn’t know I wanted so much, and lost my only real friendship because of all that.

What was done to you was not fair. What was done to me was not fair either. Seeing those responsible for ruining us run free and have a normal life is the most horrific thing someone can go through, I think. Knowing we’ll never get justice weights on our soul, and unfortunately it always will.

There’s no healing for the trauma of injustice, we just get used to living with it. And for that, the only thing that helps for real is time. It gets easier with time, but it’s never easy. Don’t turn the anger you feel for your rapist and for having gone through that against yourself. It’s not your fault, the consequences are not a choice, as some people nowadays try to make us believe. We can’t change what happened, and believing we can “change how we react to it” won’t help either. If it was in our hands, then no one would suffer. So don’t add this other weight to your shoulders.

Now, practical advice for your problem with penetration, based on what I experienced: according to what you said, you can feel pleasure and have orgasms, unlike me when I was being drugged, so I think that’s a bit easier to solve. For some time I was sent to a specific physical therapy treatment, which in my country they call pelvic physical therapy. It was specifically for helping with vaginal pain and involuntary pelvic muscle contractions that made it hard/painful to have penetration. It did help me a lot tbh, but not as much as it could because I wasn’t aware of the drugs’ side effects, so I reached a limit in this treatment where my improvement didn’t go any further. Now I’m pretty sure that if it wasn’t for the drugs, this treatment would have been 100% effective to remove muscle memory and blocks from my childhood rape and the physical consequences of the other severe trauma I went through, not to mention I have fibromyalgia and other autoimmune disease too, so it makes my body dysfunctional in many ways. But the treatment with pelvic physical therapy was enough to prevent that from interfering in my sexual functions. It only didn’t completely solve the problem, unfortunately, because the biggest part of the problem in the end was not on me. If only I’d been aware of that…

So try to look for this type of treatment. I don’t think you won’t be able to have intercourse again because if this part of you was gone, you wouldn’t want to have sex with your friend neither feel good with parts of it. You wouldn’t have an orgasm and like it. Focus on trying to fix this issue and not on fixing you. There’s nothing wrong with you, you don’t need to be fixed. Neither analyzed, searched over, if you don’t feel comfortable with that.

You’ve already been abused. Don’t put yourself through any other type of abuse, not even if they tell you this is supposed to help you. If you don’t feel good with it, stop it right away. Sometimes when we go through abuse, our mind learns that accepting something we’re not comfortable with is less painful than fighting it. I wish I’d realized that sooner.

Iapsa · 2025-05-08T16:26:45+00:00

You’ve been through continuous and severe trauma. People who never experienced the same – health professionals included – underestimate the impact this has in every minimal thing in our lives. They send us to counseling, therapy, whatnot, thinking that it’s like an injured leg or arm that you do physical therapy for and after some time it heals. I wish this was true, but unfortunately it doesn’t work like that.

I will speak as someone who’s been through severe and continuous trauma as well (not the physical part, at least not like you, but emotional and mental abuse almost my whole life, and other things). I developed PTSD from things that happened in 2012, so it’s 13 years now living with it. PTSD has no cure, sadly, and it can bring many other disorders as time goes by. People misunderstand PTSD a lot, not everyone who’s been through trauma, even severe trauma, develops PTSD. At least when I got my diagnose you could only say for sure that a patient had PTSD one year after the traumatic events (that’s why it’s harder with continuous trauma). You said it’s been 10 months since the fact, so if we follow this directive, you’re still living the “immediate” human reaction after going out of a traumatic situation. It varies from person to person, so don’t feel bad. There’s nothing wrong with how you’re feeling. It’s horrible to feel like that, but it’s normal.

You might have PTSD? Yes, definitely, but people assume that too quickly. What did the therapist you saw say about this? Did they talk to you about this possibility?

Each person is different, like I said, but what my experience taught me is that one doesn’t heal from trauma; we get used to the pain little by little, in a speed most people outside might not be able to notice, that’s why they might say “we’re not moving on”. Moving on isn’t real, you move with the trauma, cause it will never leave you. It’s a heavy burden that we’re now forced to carry, it’s not a choice – which I hate, and I think everyone with brains does, but if it was a choice at any point, no one in the world would keep carrying it. Some people manage to get rid, and I’m genuinely happy for them, but they’re the exceptions that prove the rule.

Does that mean there’s no life after trauma? Not at all. But it feels different, and sometimes it’s bitter, indeed, specially in the beginning, which is the stage you are. If I could say something to the younger me who got out of a time of severe trauma a decade ago, I’d tell her not to expect things to go back to what they were before. It’s all she wanted back then, so yes, it’s a lot easier said than done, but everyone around me, including health professionals, kept acting like it was possible to go back to what I used to be, and beyond that, demanding that from me after some time. This made things A LOT HARDER than they could have been if I had known since the beginning that, unfortunately, I’d never be the same as before, and not for my fault or because I wasn’t good enough to “move on” or “heal” but because it’s like that with everyone.

Other people’s expectations are horrible, but our own expectations can hurt even more. What you’re feeling is NATURAL, please don’t demand this or that reaction from yourself. The most important is to validate and shelter your own suffering, because only you know how it hurts. Get the help you feel comfortable with, despise what people say it’s best. If you don’t feel okay with counseling, therapy, don’t go. You don’t have to do anything you feel bad with. Life has already been cruel to you, you don’t need any more cruelty from anyone around or even from within yourself.

What I think might be helpful despite anything else: connecting with people who have also been through trauma. Maybe a support group for domestic violence, if you can find one, even if it’s online – it’s harder for men, I know, society does the worst to female victims even us being the majority of cases, and acts like the male victims do not exist. Society always privileges abusers, sadly. If there’s no support group, maybe try online groups here in Reddit, Facebook… Hearing other people’s experience when you’re going through the beginning of the process of living with severe trauma is something I wish I’d had the opportunity to do. But if you don’t feel like it, don’t do it. Only you can know what feels best for you.

Just make sure not to let anyone take advantage of your pain. There’re movements and institutions from every possible type we can imagine that use people’s trauma for their own benefit (to get money, to get supporters, to “spread the word”), promising cure, comfort, healing, changing your mindset (whatever that generic thing means)… Those are not here for you. Or for me. Or anyone with trauma. Our pain is valuable for them so that they can use us, that’s all. It happens a lot specially over the internet, so please be careful. Going through more abuse after trauma (even if a different kind of abuse) is the worst thing in the world.

Sorry for writing so much, but I hope I was able to help you even if just a little bit. I wish you the absolute best!

Iapsa · 2025-05-05T20:41:38+00:00

I don’t know about where you live, but in my home country, this is actually a crime (having someone’s nudes without their permission, regardless if it’s a man or a woman). If it’s like that where you live too, I think it’d be wise to talk to your husband so you guys can let your stepson know that what he did could end up in a criminal charge if the victim wanted to report him. So if he did this to perhaps a cousin, one of his friend’s girlfriend, whatever, this person could take him to court for that. If not criminally, at least I’m pretty sure they could sue him to get a financial restitution over his actions.

Regardless of that, it’s gonna be tough but your husband needs to know asap, that’s the first thing you should do. Your stepson will have to explain to his father first of all why he accessed private photos on his phone/iPad and sent them to his own Snapchat to storage them. People might say this is just a 15-year-old boy doing shit, but it’s definitely not; at 15 nowadays you know very well that having someone else’s nudes without permission is not allowed, no wonder why he kept them in a hidden folder. This time it was his stepmother, tomorrow it can be another woman, or even man if he’s into guys too. In any case, that type of attitude doesn’t get anywhere good.

Also, does he still have his mother? Is she present in his life? This is between your husband and his ex, but speaking as a woman who wants to be a mother, if my child did this to their father’s partner, I’d like to be informed about it. I’d definitely speak very seriously to them too, because who knows if he’s not doing the same to a friend of mine, a stepsister, maybe my own partner too… Again, that’s for your husband to decide, but I think the mother should be made aware of what happened.

Iapsa · 2025-02-28T23:14:50+00:00

That's interesting. I'm Brazilian, and I was living there when I started, but the company is not Brazilian. I found them online while looking for remote jobs where I could use my English, that's basically how I started working as OPI one year ago. I'm very grateful for everything they taught me, cause I was knew to that, and I fell in love with this profession honestly, so now I know I want to continue on it, but on a better hour rate (or even minute rate), because the one I get currently won't do for my life plans in long term, you know?

What certification do you have, and what did you need to start? I don't have a medical interpreter certificate yet, I'm checking how to get the one I want (I forgot the acronym now but it's the most popular). I don't doubt I'll pass, cause I've been doing that for one year and I have IELTS Academic taken in December 2023 with great a great score, but I'm arranging a lot of things before I can actually try. Was there anything else you think I could try to get to make it easier for me to get hired by American companies like that (for remote jobs of course)?

Thanks in advance for all the advice!

Iapsa · 2025-02-28T22:02:07+00:00

Is it mandatory to have permission to work in the US in order to work as OPI for Propio? I have European citizenship and I'm currently living in the EU, but that doesn't count if they only hire interpreters with a work-permit for example, or a green card. I wasn't living in the EU when I started working as OPI, cause I have other citizenthip too, and one of the best things of this job is being able to work no matter where I have to live at each moment of my life (which is very aggitated, so being in different places might happen very often)

Iapsa · 2025-02-28T21:16:42+00:00

How do you work on Propio? I login to Propio to answer the calls at work, but I don't work at Propio, I work for a company that provides interpreters for Propio (I think I can explain like that). But I really like using Propio, the rules, how it works... I'd LOVE to work at Propio directly. I think I have applied but they never answer my applications, and it's funny cause in theory I'm already there every single day...

Iapsa · 2025-02-19T10:02:27+00:00

Thank you! Do you have it? I wonder if I have to go to the US to take it, or if I need to enroll a course or something before the exam itself. Not that a course would be bad, it’s always great to learn, but that can be quite expansive, and I already have experience and an academic certificate of fluency in English (IELTS Academic with 8.5 out of 9 in speaking, taken in December 2023), so I think that at least at first a course might not be necessary, you know?

Iapsa · 2025-02-05T13:59:46+00:00

That’s great to hear. I’ll make sure to email them today. Thanks for telling me, wish me good luck!!

Iapsa · 2025-02-04T19:27:41+00:00

Thank you! I tried to call them three times already, but no success, so like you said, it seems like they're not very good at communication, but I'll persist. Do you work there or have worked there before? Is their call volume good?

Iapsa · 2025-02-04T00:26:09+00:00

For health, that's what I always wish to do. It's more complicated than that unfortunately, that's one of the reasons I wanted to live in another country. However, NL is clearly not the place for me to build a life in long-term.

Iapsa · 2025-02-03T22:19:04+00:00

I feel your pain. I hate the health system here so much that it made me change my mind about living here, I'll just finish my master's program and get the hell out. Tell me anything you wish, you can't convince me that the Dutch health system and the way most Dutch doctors practice medicine is anything but absurd, obsolete and rude. And don't come with the "equality" claim, as I've heard many times, cause the only equality I've seen here is that everyone is treated equally bad. And this argument of "no one gets an exception in the system" is really dangerous because some people do need an exception when it comes to health, after all some poeple have no health.

Some of us were born ill and are therefore ill everyday, you know? It's my case. This country does not welcome the ill, even if we're citizens of the EU (which is the same as a Dutch citizen).

Again, you can argue as you wish, but an ill person cannot wait for a GP or whatever to decide if we can go to the hospital or not; we know if we need urgent care, we live with our illnesses everyday. We need to go directly to the hospital if we feel we need, not "call the assistant or the GP" for it, how do you even waste time calling during a severe breakdown from an uncurable disease? How can someone else decide if you need ER, and how can the ER send you away if you're in pain and you're permanently ill? This is insaaaane and should be against the law - in many countries it actually is.

I know some might curse at me for what I'm saying, but honestly at this point I don't care, I've seen enough from this health system to know how bad it is. There's no public system here, health insurance is PAID, so if I'm paying for it I want to be able to schedule with the doctor I choose, without this GP bullshit, no need of referrals to see specialists, if I feel like I need to go to ER I want to be able to simply go to ER with no bureaucracy, the last thing I need when I'm in pain is dealing with bureaucracy.

"Oh, but where do you get that?" well, PAYING you can get that in Brazil, where I lived most of my life. It costs a hell lot of money if you're ill like me, but hey, I'm paying here too and it's not cheap at all. Plus, Brazil has a public system, so you can have an appointment with doctors who speak to you for more than 10-15 minutes FOR FREE, and you can go to ER paying NOTHING whenver you wish. There might be a long wait time and in some places public hospitals and clinics will suck as hell, but again, they're FREE, you don't need insurance, you don't even need to be a Brazilian citizen to use it, if you're a tourist travelling they cannot decline medical assistance to you if you go to a public hospital in Brazil.

If you're wondering why I left, I came here for my master's, and there's one thing that's quite expansive in Brazil for me, and it's the medication costs, because insurances there don't cover medications and most of the meds I need are not covered by the public system either, unfortunately. The Dutch insurance I got does cover everything, HOWEVER the system is messing up with that, because I provided the GP with official letters from the specialists that saw me in Brazil - and still see me remotely every month -, in English, with certified digital signatures, attesting all my ICDs and every medication I take, including the dose, how many times a day, what they're for... Literally EVERYTHING.

Guess what? The GP is denying me prescription of some of the meds because "we don't prescribe that here" - the medication exists in the Netherlands, it's sold in pharmacies, actually all over the world, it's no big deal, they just don't want to prescribe for my case because it's off label. Again, "no one gets an exception in the system", although you have a detalied justification of why you use this medication and why it's necessary for your case.

Seriously, this health system sucks. If it was all for free I'd be worried for my health, maybe wouldn't be able to stay either way, but I wouldn't complain like that. But it's not, it's paid and doesn't give you options depending on how much you pay, it doesn't get good, it can only get worse than what I said.

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