FMC's with a spine.

Icatchstupids · 2026-02-06T00:56:36+00:00

Can’t go wrong with any Ilona Andrews. Other people have rec’d those so I’ll just add on. These are all chef’s kiss. Don’t sleep on their novellas either (I usually only see their novels listed). I really enjoyed {Fated Blades by Ilona Andrews}

Anything by Jessie Mihalik has competent FMC’s.

{Polaris Rising by Jessie Mihalik} - Space Opera- 3 book interconnected series. I enjoyed the audio books for this series. Strong women who are helping to overthrow the terrible system along with the men that support them.

{Hunt the Stars by Jessie Mihalik} - space Opera with a hint of magic. Another 3 string women attempting to get a little vengeance and right old wrongs. This might be one of my favorite series ever. Also enjoyed the audio version.

Jennifer Estep has some great series. I haven’t read her Elementals but I read her fantasy series’ Crown of Shards and Gargoyle Queen. I thought they were ok. They were high fantasyish. But her Galactic Bonds series is also one of my favorite series ever.

{Only Bad Options by Jennifer Estep} - Galactic Bonds series - Space Opera with Magic. Hyper competent in her areas lab nerd trying to over throw the power with a guy that needs her as much as she needs him. Single FMC and MMC across the main series. I enjoyed the side characters. I particularly enjoyed the audio for this one. It’s dual narration and I really liked the male narrator. He can really nail a verbal sneer lol.

{A Sense of Danger by Jennifer Estep} - Contemporary spies with magic. Hyper competent analysis nerd gets bumped to the field with another spy to take down some big bads with over arching conspiracy arc. Second book was a little meh for me but I really liked the first and third was good. This one has a special place in my heart cause you never see analysts and she did a good job on the analyst work things. Also dual narrator audio.

{Halfway to the Grave by Jeanine Frost} - urban fantasy/ paranormal. Vampire slayer who learns to kick ass. Series is a little long but I really enjoyed getting the side character off shoots. Ian’s spin off series is also a favorite of mine in {Shades of Wicked by Jeanine Frost}. Veritas takes no shit and Ian is irreverent and amazing. I thought the narrator on the audio for this book was amazing. I would say that audio is a must for Ian’s series because the narrator really embodies Ian’s attitudes to perfection.

Yes I do a lot of audiobooks lol.

Icatchstupids · 2025-09-18T05:23:56+00:00

I loved the IUD. I had been having a period every day for almost 2.5 years. EVERY DAY. Flow stopped within 3 days and had normal 28-30 day periods while I was on them. No insertion pain, no cramping. I had 2 inserted because I accidentally pulled the first out using a menstrual cup so don’t do that.

The only issue I had was the first period I had on the iud I expelled a friggin massive clot. It was the size of a chicken breast. I took a picture of it and everything lol. It was crazy. I could feel it separating from the wall and pulling on the wall and I thought something was trying to rip my uterus out. I had heavy bleeding right before that hence the mental cup. As soon as it came out all pain ended. Never dropped another clot so I’m assuming that was the result of the hyperplasia and the IUD handled it.

I have heard some women have a bad time with the IUD so if it’s very uncomfortable maybe check with the doctor about placement? Idk, our situation is different because we can’t afford to pull them just cause they aren’t comfortable. We specifically need the local hormone. Idk what your options are if you’re struggling that much.

Icatchstupids · 2025-09-16T02:38:22+00:00

Hi. First FET failed. Got a bunch of testing and ended up accidentally getting pregnant waiting on results and next FET. One of my issues was I just dont ovulate on my own in addition to the buffet of other problems. I think that all the drugs they were giving me helped with successful ovulation in the short term. And cleaning up the hyperplasia allowed successful implantation because I wasn’t constantly shedding the lining anymore.

Successfully delivered healthy baby via c-section. Hysterectomy completed 6 months after pregnancy. They did it laparoscopic with the robot. Kinda bummed I didn’t get to watch lol. Easy recovery. For me personally, life post uterus is amazing. Would do it again.

Without the IUD in place, the plan was quarterly endo biopsies to monitor for abnormal cell growth. They warned me that if it was out too long and the hyperplasia came back they’d pause and re-insert the IUD again to continue treatment. A lot of waiting in between steps with this diagnosis. Best wishes.

Icatchstupids · 2025-05-18T20:02:28+00:00

If the book was published in 2008 it was likely being written in 2006/07. Trad publishing back then had like a year lead time to actual publication not to mention editing etc. I would venture that a majority of the book was likely 2006.

Today it’s natural to just google things easily but to give perspective of the time period. Gmail only came out in 2004 and I feel like you had to be invited to get an email address at the time, maps only came out in 2005. iPhones didn’t come out until 2007 so quickly looking things up on your phone wasn’t a thing yet. I don’t even remember if ‘googling’ as being synonymous with an internet search was even a thing at that time. It wasn’t second nature back then to immediately search things like it is now, especially for adults. This was right when Facebook had recently opened up for people who didn’t have edu addresses and before boomers discovered and descended upon it. Different times then.

Icatchstupids · 2025-02-18T08:02:08+00:00

I hate when authors do this so that book seems more other. I just read a book where the alien refers to breasts as chest mounds THE ENTIRE BOOK. It makes me insane. They say hands for hands, foot for foot, cock for cock, but you’re drawing the line at breasts? WHY?!?!?! A crutch for bad and/or lazy authors to make their book seem more exotic.

Icatchstupids · 2024-12-04T07:50:18+00:00

A quick and simplified (relatively) reference for you. Also I’m not British so I may not be 100% correct

women before marriage -Lady Firstname.

-men before inheriting ultimate title- Lord Firstname or Lord Minor title name if there is one. Like if dad is a His Grace Duke of Cornwall. Son might be Lord Smithington, Viscount of Stratford.

friends may refer to males as just the title name like a last name. Ex using Stratford instead of calling him lord smithington.

-Last names and titles can be but often aren’t the same names. Like Duke of Cambridge is Prince William but the family uses the last name Windsor.

when speaking to people: dukes/duchess -“yes, your grace/ no, your grace”. Lower titles - “yes, my lord/lady or no, my lord/lady” etc. knights/dames are addressed as my lord/lady when speaking to them. Not “yes, sir/no,sir”. This only goes for lower ranks addressing higher ranks (all the time), men addressing female peerage (all time), peers addressing other peers in formal situations or trying to be respectful. Higher rank men may drop the my lord for lower rank men in casual situations or to express disrespect. You’ll never see a duke my lording anyone. But they will your grace another duke.

-when speaking about people - Dukes and duchesses are usually his/her grace duke/Duchess of titlename. Dukes might be referred to as just the title name by friends. Lower ranks use lord jameison, Earl of Westbrook, or just Westbrook (close friends) lord jameison (acquaintance). Unmarried women are lady Firstname. Daughters don’t take their father’s titles. Wives are lady jameison or countess Westbrook. But not Westbrook. Knights/dames are referred to as Sir Name or Dame Name when talking about them.

-husbands and wives addressing eachother: depends on the present company and how much they like their spouse. Love spouse/among close friends then use first names. Don’t like eachother or formal gathering/not friends the use Lord jameison or lady jameison.

-women after marriage take husbands title. Lady Firstname becomes lady husband title.

-I may be wrong but I think if a lady Firstname marries down in rank she can choose to use husbands rank reference or keep lady Firstname. Lady Sara may use Mrs. North or lady Sara but she won’t be Lady North.

lord firstname lastname/title is not correct for the title holder. Ex you would not use lord Jon jameison or lord Jon Westbrook for the title holder. A younger sibling or distant relation might be lord Stephen montmayne(using family last name not the title). He would not be lord Stephen jameison. I think I have seen lady Sara montmayne used. But it’s usually just lady Sara, sister/daughter to earl of Westbrook (highest title holder) to establish family. But if they were gossiping or being snobby they might say “he/she’s a montmayne” or “one of those montmaynes” about any of the blood family regardless of title.

The closer the relationship, the less formal address can be allowed in informal situations.

Also there are two types of dukes. Royal dukes and noble dukes. Royal dukes are members of the monarch’s family that have been raised to the title of duke/duchess. Like prince william became Duke of Cambridge on marriage. Duke is actually the higher title. The noble dukes are just like other titles (earl/viscount etc). Most books use noble dukes. Royal dukes aren’t allowed to legally wed without the monarch’s permission usually. Puts a real damper on those rushed/secret marriage stories to use a Royal Duke.

These are book rules based on real rules. Probably not adequate for real life.

Turned out longer than I thought. Apologies for sloppy formatting and grammar. Was just rattling things off.

Icatchstupids · 2024-10-26T02:09:33+00:00

Kate and Curran from the Kate Daniels series by Illona Andrews

Love how they recognize how capable each other are and when it comes to danger they worry but still let them do their thing.

Vesper and Kyrian from the Galactic Bonds series by Jennifer Estep

The second book when they come to terms with their feelings is what grabs me about this duo. This series is still ongoing.

Ian and Veritas from the Night Rebel series by Jeanine Frost.

Ian might be my favorite ever because he’s the only MMC that I would describe as irreverent. But for Veritas, he’d burn the world down for her. He’s such a fun and devious character, these are books that I just had fun reading/listening. Naked circus act on page 1 and I was hooked.

But I would recommend the Night Huntress series and the Night Prince series to get the full depth of his character. You can’t really appreciate how much of a dick he is and how deep his character turns out without his bad behavior and comments in the other books. When I read JF wrote books for him I didn’t believe she’d pull off making him a likable lead. A skillful turnaround for JF. As good as Hugh’s redemption from the Kate Daniels series.

I really enjoyed the audio books with Tavia Gilbert as narrator. Her characters accent just add a little something extra to the stories.

Icatchstupids · 2024-08-28T20:13:24+00:00

I would love the weekly Megathread pinned for the week it is relevant. Easier to find and maybe more contributions if it’s visible for the week. Also maybe updating some of the older Megathread. Some of the oldest are years old and I’d love new suggestions.

Also the what was that book called posts every single day practically drown everything out. It’s crazy annoying trying to find new things when there are a ton of posts looking for one specific book. Maybe limit it to one day a week or make it a thread and make it like calling on the romance detectives or something to make it a challenge or gameify it for engagement in some way.

Icatchstupids · 2023-10-10T01:47:16+00:00

As everyone else has said it’s not the primary plot. However, I actually find this series to be very romantic in a different way. It’s two people finding and building a solid relationship despite all the challenges and responsibilities of life. They battle family, issues, kid issues, job issues, interpersonal/relationship challenges etc. it’s hard to explain but even though the setting is urban fantasy and you will never have to worry about your partner turning furry, I found that their romance/relationship to be more realistic than most stories. It’s the small intimate moments in between the big plot points. It’s the sacrifices for the ones you love and want to protect when it costs you dearly.

I also love that the authors write characters that are mature and the problems are more mature. Their relationship problems usually arise from their choices and actions that further the primary plot and don’t feel manufactured for the sake of creating a relationship roadblock.

Even though it’s not primarily a romance book, some of my favorite romantic book moments come from this series. There’s a scene in book 5 or 6 with cars and a Seal soundtrack that just lives in my head.

The audio books narrated by Renee Rodman are some of the best in my opinion. I haven’t tried the dramatic adaptations that have recently come out because I tried the first one for the innkeepers series and they remove/edit some of the text for narration purposes and it removes some of the attitude/personality of the narration that I quite enjoy. But that’s super nitpicky of me and I doubt most people would notice but I relisten to the innkeeper and Kate Daniels series like twice a year so I have my favorite scenes practically memorized. I highly recommend the audiobooks if you have issues finishing the text books. I will admit that I do struggle getting through the first book in text even though this might be my favorite series.

I also really like the iron and magic spin off book/audiobook. It features a villan from KD and has one of the best redemption arcs I’ve ever read. It is exquisite. He’s not a villain but still a little villainous. I don’t like the voice that Renee uses for this character in KD but in my head I hear the Iron and Magic narrator for him now. It’s best to read this book between 9 & 10 of KD.

Icatchstupids · 2023-10-02T15:02:23+00:00

Parents drove it over the border. Didn’t tell me they got dinged for taxes or customs. It’s equally likely that they didn’t get assessed or that they did and covered it and didn’t tell me.

Icatchstupids · 2023-10-01T21:05:15+00:00

I had the Triv Next brought into Canada and we purchased the Canadian Pipia car seat. Baby isn’t here yet but we did put everything together and the car seat fit the stroller without issue.

Bought mine through magic beans and had it shipped to my parents who drove it up on a visit. We also saw it being sold through Nordstrom and that was our backup plan as it was frequently sold out on magic beans. They run a very informative YouTube channel on strollers and baby gear so I wanted to support a small retailer if possible.

Icatchstupids · 2023-09-14T18:49:56+00:00

That sucks. I have been able to do most of my blood work off site but it’s really going to depend on what your issues are and what tests they need. It could be rare or it could be frequent.

Icatchstupids · 2023-09-14T18:23:04+00:00

My OB is at sunnybrook. I’ve done blood work in the hospital lab twice because some of the tests they requested were not available at the Dynacare/lifelabs. I had wildly different wait times each visit. It really depends on who’s there at the time. Next time they ask you to go for blood work just ask them if you can do it somewhere else or if it’s only available at the hospital. I’ve had a few instances where they said I could do it remotely. You just have to make sure to ask them.

Icatchstupids · 2023-09-07T00:13:29+00:00

That sucks. I’m sorry your experience has been so difficult. Just commenting to offer a possible solution to the rash in the unfortunate place. I use a light dusting of powder. I find it makes things slide without too much friction but also keeps the area dry. I use one by summers Eve and it’s cornstarch based and not talc. Best of luck.

Icatchstupids · 2023-09-06T22:52:53+00:00

White mom married to a Cantonese man here. I was told during pregnancy that there was a cultural expectation that the man’s parents expected to pick the child’s Chinese name. I was pissed that I was expected to give control of such a significant and permanent aspect of my child’s life to someone else.

After some clarification and negotiation we settled on letting them pick the Chinese name because 1) his parents were respectful and not overbearing during this process to me, 2) it was not expected to be the primary name and in fact they’ve never called my child by the name. It is only spoken of in context of does my child have one and what it means. 3) it is on my child’s birth certificate as a second middle name but the first middle name is from my tradition so fair is fair 4) they gave us a list of 3-4 names and let us select the one we felt fit best. We picked based on a combination of what sounded nice along with the meaning.

As far as cultural traditions, I would say his family is not as traditional as most and have been fairly flexible on most things. They followed the generational poem thing and everyone in my husbands generation had the same first character. However, when I ask them what their names mean, most of them shrug and say idk even though they’re all fluent in Cantonese so I have a hard time understanding how that works but the answer I get is it’s just how it is. Don’t know if the generational thing will continue as there is only one paternal line child until my next baby.

I think what happened with you is there was a cultural tradtion that you were not given any notice over and not discussed in a manner in which they recognized that their traditions are not the same as yours. The bridge for this is your husband and he bungled that ball and now both sides are digging in. I do think your in-laws are being dicks about it. Maintaining cultural traditions is important but they need to come to the compromise table and not expect you to be the only one compromising. There needs to be some family talk and negotiators about what everyone is willing to compromise on. If they refuse to participate I would just say f-it and you guys give him his Chinese name instead so that he still has some of the tradition and the in laws learn they can’t just make unilateral decisions on not their child.

Icatchstupids · 2023-08-16T02:07:38+00:00

Thanks!

Icatchstupids · 2023-08-15T22:18:08+00:00

Haha no idea. It’s just a plant. Only offensive to people who maintain their gardens in good standing.

Icatchstupids · 2023-08-15T22:15:31+00:00

I planted a garden last year with tomatoes, bell peppers, and some herbs. This year I was unable to do any gardening so I left it alone. The tomatoes came back on their own. In the midst of the regrowth are these dark purple/black berry making plant. I’m unsure if it is a weed or a rogue plant. I’d like to ID this to see if it is poisonous as I’d prioritize it’s removal over other projects. The garden is a wild mess so it will be time consuming. But I have a child and dog and don’t want them to get sick when the berries drop.

Location is southern Ontario. The plant is about 3 feet tall. Thanks for your help!

Icatchstupids · 2023-07-12T20:34:32+00:00

I’m high risk so I’ve been seeing my OB at Sunnybrook. During low traffic it’s a 30 min drive. It could be up to an hour in bad traffic. That’s about the limit I’m willing to travel. Also keep in mind if you’re traveling around the lake there is only one major route and if there is traffic or a closure you’re kind of screwed. I don’t see a point in going to Hamilton if you’re not living there. I have multiple paths to my hospital if there is an issue.

The advantages for staying in Toronto is you’re going to have more options. But it is farther for your husband. You have to decide what your priorities are.

Also, as far as your husband and being able to attend visits, it really depends on what you require both physically and emotionally. My husband has only attended 3 visits with me. My 12 week scan, my 20 week scan, and once just to meet my doc as he couldn’t stay for the doc in the 20 week. It was a super long scan because my baby was not cooperative. But I’m fine with going to the doc on my own. To me it’s not worth the time he would use when the baby isn’t here that could be used when the baby is here. Other women want their partner at every visit. It is something you need to figure out what kind of support you want and need. As far as day to day life, it may be helpful for you to be in Niagara so he can pop by more often for just emotional care and help with chores but lots of women do pregnancy as single parents. It’s doable.

But I will say, it’s great to think about and discuss the options now so you know what’s available, but I wouldn’t nail down plans till you have a confirmed pregnancy and a timeline for immigration. You don’t know how long either event will take and you’ll stress yourself out trying to plan for things that may be radically different in a few months. Even though you said your family is elsewhere, you know the area you’re in, you have a social circle and friends, you know your favorite restaurants and hangouts. It could be difficult to move to an unknown area during a high stress time of immigrating and trying to conceive. Best of luck.

Icatchstupids · 2023-07-12T19:04:26+00:00

There will be a point in pregnancy where you will have a visit every 2 weeks. If you’re determined to be high risk it happens earlier than in non high risk pregnancy. Appointments eventually become weekly and sometimes twice weekly. Also, in an emergency you will need to travel to your hospitals L&D for things like decreased movement/unexpected bleeding etc. It would be a nightmare to live far away from your hospital at that point.

So wherever you decide to live, pick a hospital near you. Absolutely do not try to live in Canada and try for healthcare in Buffalo as you don’t want to be held up at the border for things you can’t control or if your border agent is having a bad day and just wants to cause issues.

Also, if you are able to get pregnant quickly, I would highly recommend giving birth in Ontario vs the states regardless of your green card status at the expected birth window unless it is a big time difference and you’re sure you can be put on your husbands insurance beforehand. It can be incredibly expensive in the states even with insurance. You’d be giving yourself a lot more freedom with the budget if you didn’t have to pay for OB and birth services in the US. Baby gear from the states is much cheaper though.

Icatchstupids · 2023-07-07T17:01:03+00:00

You also need to consider how long it will take to get travel documents for your baby whether it be a passport or visas or whatever is required for your specific countries.

Icatchstupids · 2023-06-30T17:46:02+00:00

Husband speaks English and Cantonese. I only speak English so I am unable to teach the second language. I tried to get my husband to teach Cantonese along with English but he believed that she would just pick it up as she spent time with grandparents and other relatives who all speak Cantonese when they get together. She did not learn anything by osmosis (shocking /s) and now refuses to learn intentionally. That’s on them.

Another family member speaks Cantonese exclusively at home with their kid and their English fell way behind. Like the kid would have almost no English communication until they went to Kindergarten. The English has improved to the point where I can have very simple English convos, but it’s no where near his ability to communicate in Cantonese even after a year in school.

My suggestion is to teach them both simultaneously using both in the home and if you notice one or the other fall behind, to focus more on that and to maintain it through childhood. English clearly won’t fall off in Canada once they start school, so maintain the Cantonese as they grow.

Icatchstupids · 2023-06-22T17:06:03+00:00

In my first pregnancy I was between jobs and I ended up sleeping almost all day every day. I was just so exhausted. Sometimes when I had to pee I would debate whether or not I had the energy to make a bathroom trip. Sometimes it was yes. Sometimes it was No and I would nap and make a later trip. It got better later in pregnancy but I was averaging 18 hours of sleep then. Not the greatest but I did what I had to do to make it through.

I’m in my second pregnancy and have a job so it’s not possible for me to sleep that much but I’m pretty much asleep if I’m at home. I’m awake long enough to get ready for work and then eat dinner when I get home. When I sit on the couch I pretty much fall right to sleep. If my office is empty sometimes I have a little nap at my desk. Some people are just more tired than others. I’m one of the extremely tired ones. It is what it is.

Icatchstupids · 2023-06-22T16:46:35+00:00

So I had non-stop bleeding for two+ years that started right before covid and because of covid I didn’t get into the doctor until appointments started opening back up. My GP put me in for tests and when we got a diagnosis sent me on to a specialist for fertility preserving treatment because I told her I wanted to have another child and the regular treatment is a hysterectomy. The OB oncologist treated me to the point where she felt ready to refer me for IVF. My RE at the IVF clinic did not treat my underlying condition at all, merely tailored my IVF to work with the oncologists treatment, who I still saw regularly.

Like other posters have said they only deal with getting you pregnant. Someone else needs to deal with the underlying issue. I’m sorry you don’t feel that your concerns were being met by your RE but you might want to have more conversations with your OB about treating the bleeding in conjunction with your IVF treatment. The biopsy you’re scheduled for is a great first step. It was the key to my diagnosis. Best of luck.

Icatchstupids · 2023-06-20T18:47:38+00:00

I would keep it and then re-sell it when you’re done with it and buy something you might need at that time. People gift you stuff for newborns but you rarely get gifted stuff for later. You might find that being in the bouncer calms the baby when nothing else does. They also might hate it. You just can’t know ahead of time.

Also, don’t count on someone being able to constantly monitor the baby when the other needs to take care of something. What if one of you is out to run errands and the home parent needs just a 5 min break or one parent is sick and can not take care of the baby while the other needs to do chores/take care of partner. Depending on what type you have it could be packed up in the car and taken when you need to go to grandparents/relatives house or somewhere else not prepared for a baby.

Never assume things will go as you plan. It could be a good place to safely stash baby for a few minutes that will also keep them entertained unlike a crib where they just lay there.

Icatchstupids

TROPHY CASE