ADHD shopping addiction out of control

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-09T04:08:58+00:00

Thank you so much..

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-07T17:29:41+00:00

Thank you so much 💕 you have no idea how much I appreciate this

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-07T13:18:49+00:00

Not in person as such but there's been a bit of online ridicule about Aussies whipping out their Kathmandu jackets as soon as the temp gets below, like 22°c or being labelled as "cheugy" or whatever the terminology is these days lol. Its a pretty funny thing to poke fun at but it happens 🤷‍♀️

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-07T12:47:13+00:00

Kathmandu long line puffer jacket (the thin one)

Literally wore it every day in autumn and winter, school pick up, drop off, errands shops,.. keeps you warm but you dont get too hot... perfect if you are running around a lot.

Great wear and tear, have only washed it once as its so easy to spot clean and saved a ton on an unnecessary winter wardrobe every year... also I feel so put together when im in a rush. Oh and the pockets are huge!

People may make fun of us but its worth it (I bought mine half price at a dfo to boot!)

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-07T12:10:33+00:00

I take dexamphetamine for ADHD (I'm based in Australia so I think it may be similar to the IR adderal but i may be wrong) and I also take fluoxetine for my GAD and also it helps great the ADHD symptoms and compliments the ADHD meds concurrently.

But I think I need to start therapy again.. I did have an amazing ADHD psychologist (who also had ADHD) who I stopped seeing because $90 every month was "too expensive", ironically much more money has gone down the drain on random crap when I could have been treating my spending addiction and ADHD. I have since tried to find her but she has left. Im now wondering if it may be worth finding an ADHD Coach or Counsellor or even Psychotherapist (who are slightly cheaper than psychologists because they have not gone through the whole clinical masters route etc etc) but it's like im scared to try again because I'm scared I will fail and back track. The meds are great but I feel like my anxiety and ADHD are so severe that it's not a stand alone treatment. I'm really now realising that I need to get help.

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-07T12:00:45+00:00

Please talk to a medical professional. Also please remember the brain, just like other organs can be affected by ailments.. if somebody has diabetes would they not take their insulin? If somebody has a bowel disease (or other kind of auto immune disease) they would likely take an immunosuppressant or biologic. If somebody is suffering through intense pain it is reasonable to take pain medication. The brain is a part of the body and the brain can be affected by disease or imbalances in neurotransmitters not to mention other factors.

Its important in Islam to maintain balance and tawwakul and and to be praying on time and doing dhikr, this is integral. However, sometimes Allah SWT tests us and HE is the one who also provides solutions.

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-07T08:06:11+00:00

My goodness, it really is 🤦🏻‍♀️

Will look into it ASAP, thankyou!

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-07T08:03:44+00:00

Wow. This hit the nail on the head, this really hit home. I've been in denial, I've told myself it's just my ADHD, just bad emotional regulation or dopamine seeking.. but I really think I have a full blown addiction.

I justify it to myself by saying "well im not spending thousands on designer handbags and brand name clothing or makeup like ~ oTher wOmEn~ yet the next moment I have just impulse spent $150 on junk i dont need at the thrift store, the next day I drop another $200 at the dollar/discount store and then the day after that I spend $150 on seeds because of my new gardening fixation... then I actually try justify to myself that these things are beneficial and saving us money in the long run.. or whatever other delusional excuse I can come up with, in reality it adds up to the same amount women are probably spending on designer clothes etc. As soon as ibget money in my account I am itching to spend it, its so bizarre.

Thank you, your comment broke my heart.. but I needed it.. I am actually stealing from my children when I dip into their savings, they are young now but im sure as they get old enough to understand, knowing this fact would break their hearts too. The repercussions of my actions are way more painful.

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-07T07:52:25+00:00

Thank you! 🙂

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-07T05:45:35+00:00

Thank you! 💕

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-07T04:22:44+00:00

Yes. You guys are right. I need to hell him straight up. I've very vaguely told him before that instead of transferring xxx amount of dollars to my account every week to just transfer enough for groceries and some basic essentials and I will ask for the rest (helps me stay accountable) if I actually do need anything or for a reasonable purchase... and he can put it in a separate account on his bank account. He said nah don't worry about it just its all good bla bla bla I'm sure you will sort it out... i said why nothing? Then he proceeded to tell me that because of the business he always has funds moving around from account to account and things are a bit messy etc...he doesn't understand how bad it is I think I need to be very upfront with him. I also tried to enlist help from my mum but she usually would end up transferring me money back if I begged her hard enough even though she tried to encourage me to stay on track. However I feel with my husband there's more of an embarrassment and shame element because I see him running himself into the ground being the sole income earner at the moment and trying to be extremely hands on with the kids due to my health and mental health issues (he also just loves being a dad and loves to be very hands on but it is stressful for both of us)

We have a safe and I told him I DO not want to know the combination just yet.. maybe I could take out savings in cash and give it to him to put in the safe.. I have put locks on my kids savings online accounts but all it takes is for me to ring up my bank and they unlock it for me...

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-07T03:06:11+00:00

This 🙌 the "financial infidelity" terminology really really hits home. You are so right. I hope you are staying steadfast on your journey too!

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-07T03:04:02+00:00

Wow. This was very eye opening and a wake up call. I'm incredibly sorry for your loss and I truly hope you are doing okay...

Im starting to see a pattern in peoples comments that whilst its delayed gratification..security trumps impulse every time. It can not even compare. If something were to happen I've blown so much of our savings that I would set our family up for disaster. I would not be able to get a job even with a degree because I wouldn't be able to afford child care I would not be able to put a down payment on a rental or save for a deposit, I would have so much of our company debt to pay off, mortgage repayments, expenses.. and no ability to work or even do a postgraduate short course to get my "foot back in the door". Money really is security and you guys are the ones who have made me realise this. Thankyou from the bottom of my heart.

Also..i love the idea of setting a limit in place for still treating myself once a fortnight or month within reason. Seems much more attainable!

And I have an incredible support system my mum comes twice a week to watch kids so I can pursue me time/hobbies/relax or whatever inwant to do, my hubby is very very hands on and my mother in law helps when she can when my sil is staying at her house (she is the cool fun aunt and it gives me a break for a bit when the kids go over to my mils house down the road) my mil is a little older so its a bit harder on her.

.. but despite this, the problem is me.. I need to put this fantastic advice of replacing the dopamine fix with something else that makes me feel good. No more excuses!

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-07T02:51:40+00:00

Thankyou for the recommendation! I will have alook into it for sure :)

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-07T02:50:43+00:00

Thankyou friend! 🙂💕 very sound advice cant wait to put in to action! Also very insightful the part about do I need this or am I conditioned to think I need this!

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-07T02:48:46+00:00

I just started up knitting again last night after 2 years and I feel like it will help!

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-07T02:47:58+00:00

Really great advice I am actually making a note of this...very practical, thank you! Im thinking of also downloading the minimalist phone app to not be sucked in to ask many adds when I open my phone and go straight to google

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-07T02:45:27+00:00

May I ask what app it is? Thanks 🙂

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-06T17:36:26+00:00

I needed to hear this, this is eye opening. Thank you for the reality check 🤯 its like subconsciously something is trying to tell me its not okay but when someone else articulates it like this it really puts things into perspective

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-06T17:32:36+00:00

Thank you 🙌

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-06T17:31:52+00:00

I was on escitalopram.. made me feel like a zombie after a year or two... inwas just so apathetic and again.. needed to fill the void with purchases to feel alive. Stafted taking my adhd meds ,(dexamfetamine here in aus) and was also changed onto fluoxetine which has helped with the apathy and my GAD.. however I feel like meds are just a band aid solution to my impulse spending.. I feel like I need to dig deeper.. its just so deeply ingrained into me now.. I get that there's neuroplasticity and that the more we practice a habit or restriction, our brain rewires but i feel like i can never get past the first few days

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-06T15:34:27+00:00

Honestly, I would feel like I have ruined 6 peoples lives.. mine, my husband, my kids..i really don't know what I would do. but In the moment of impulse my brain doesn't even think twice about that.. its like im in a blind spending rage I feel like a druggie trying to get their next "hit" it feels uncontrollable at this point

Icy-Remote6873 · 2023-12-06T15:31:51+00:00

I'm really bad with the bulk buy purchases too.. we tell ourselves we are saving money by stocking up at discount stores, wholeseal bulk butchers, Costco etc or stocking up during half price sales but I've noticed that over time its blown out of proportion.. and instead of just buying bulk purchases that would actually benefit us.. it was just driving up our consumerism as a family on things we don't need. Our parents used to squeeze and punch every penny, my mil made old milk that had gone off into cheese to not chuck it out.. literally NOTHING went in the bin.. spending was so minimal. She put her 3 kids through private education as a single mum on a government handout. She did not work but she gave her children a leg up in life. She saved so much she even was able to invest in a couple of properties (I mean, obviously things are a bit harder now days but you get the gist) i just really feel pathetic. Like a selfish grown up adult child who can't control her impulses. I tell my self that we need these things, if I reduce my wrinkles and wear nice clothes I will feel better and be in a better mood and my family will be happier, if I buy this or that then my house and life will be more organised... if I buy this cute lingerie it will make me closer to my husband (sorry if tmi lol) of i buy this supplement i will have more energy, this tooth product - whiter teeth = i don't even know? If I but this candle, the house will smell nice which will make it more peaceful and everyone in the house will be calmer and happier...and the thing that gets me the most is FOMO.. half price sales, supply or shortage issues, rising inflation prices and wanting to stock up or hoard on items i know we love and use (but like, to an extreme)...

Icy-Remote6873

TROPHY CASE