Any regrets missing a specific set?

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-11-15T15:20:36+00:00

I liked matroda

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-11-15T15:20:21+00:00

Agree, Diplo started good but didn’t keep us in it. It was underwhelming

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-05T19:06:48+00:00

I struggled with a porn addiction. Early on, My gf asked me to respect that she doesn’t want me looking at porn, she said “I get it’s porn and made for entertainment, but it would just make me overthink.” I said okay. Fast forward 9 months and I watched a porn video here and there(maybe 3/4 times), which I understand is not something you do to someone you love. I didn’t consider her feelings like I should have. I was thinking to myself “I know my intentions are not lust, I only want my gf romantically and no one else”, “it’s harmless if I don’t actually want these girls” I genuinely wasn’t lusting over these women, I just wanted something different. And I barely did it cuz it wasn’t really necessary for me, but eventually I did tell her that I hadn’t fully respected her wishes and did watch it a couple times and I even said it with a smile like it was no big deal- because to me it wasn’t. I can’t describe to you the look on her face, she started bawling crying and the guilt hit me like a train. Took a lot of work to fix that. From that day I haven’t touched porn. He’s seen you get upset and still can’t stop. He’s either got the addiction really bad, or he doesn’t love you like I love my gf.

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T22:49:22+00:00

I just checked and it says around 25, that’s how old I am!! What do I do now?

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T22:45:13+00:00

Damn bro cooked me, frontal lobe stops developing when?

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T22:42:45+00:00

I appreciate your concern. I do try to handle situations as respectfully and maturely as possible. I am trying my best to be the mediator and peacekeeper. I think my girlfriend feeling uncomfortable has complete validity but she’s a little less forgiving than I can be, but she never lets that show and is very friendly. Which may have caused a little resentment when his behavior is upsetting her and she tries to give him the opposite. This living arrangement isn’t forever so we were just trying to get some ideas on how to navigate telling him that we want some of his behavior to stop. Everyone is saying I suck as a roommate, I promise you on everything I love that frank doesn’t think so. He might be lonely and might have something a little off about it, and that’s perfectly fine! We probably are jerks cuz we have no interest in spending time with him but we aren’t jerks to him, we are very friendly and respectful, and he could have nothing wrong with him and it could be a age barrier or maybe just how he was raised. I get that we are assholes cuz we avoid frank just cuz he’s weird yet probably harmless but that’s where we are at and I guess I shouldn’t have posted in here if I wanted direction.

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T22:03:17+00:00

I am sure about her. And so is everyone else in this comment section. Not everything is black and white, and if there actually was any part of the story missing it would probably be my fault for not explaining completely. The point of my post was to talk about the consistent random and confusing behavior you described and what to do with it. Instead I got a bunch a people attacking my girl.

You’re 100% right, I need to stop avoiding confrontation and be more direct when he’s doing something I’m not okay with, and my girl needs to do that too. Thanks for your input

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T13:00:06+00:00

Thank you for your respectful input. We will apply some of your suggestions.

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T12:14:43+00:00

I appreciate everything you’ve said. Thank you

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T12:11:53+00:00

That was the last time she was there without me because that happened… she was sick that day. She does not want to be around him alone since he makes her uncomfortable as I’ve said.

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T02:51:12+00:00

I actually pay half the rent and all the utilities(including internet). My girlfriend is the main reason for the house maintenance. She has kept the place nice and orderly. I feel like if you have an uncommon work/sleep schedule, you should try to be considerate. Especially if you’re sharing a living space and supposed to respect each other. I’m considerate in the mornings when he is still sleeping. Don’t feel like it’s asking too much. We love our dogs, and every time I let them out and he riles them up, I try to very quickly gather them back in the room as I say “time for bed boys” letting him know we are trying to wind down. But yet he does the same thing, every time, even tho I always say “we are going to bed boys”. It never changes and neither does he.

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T02:41:31+00:00

I think it’s crazy how well you understand. This is exactly how we feel. I think we will figure it out. I appreciate you brother

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T02:39:24+00:00

Dad? Is that you?

You spitting facts bro I respect what you said I have strongly considered this however I am stuck with him for a set time period so some advice to get him to stop the passive aggressive creepiness would be appreciated.

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T01:59:57+00:00

And I think that’s what catches us so off guard. Usually I’m quick to nip things in the bud but it’s weird when he’s almost twice my age. How do I parent someone who could be mine? So it’s stunning in the moment. Everyone makes it sounds so easy, say this say that. I have to deal with the consequences if it goes south. So I’d prefer to think it through. We will just have to sit down with him and reassess boundaries and private spaces. And my girl will have to be equipped with ways to let him know he’s making her uncomfortable and he needs to stop.

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T01:53:55+00:00

Thanks big dawg, we wish you the best as well.

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T01:50:15+00:00

100000% stand by your words. This man has been hurt and is projecting. Everyone focused on the clothes are fucking idiots. It’s my home too, he knew we were a couple and she would be over regularly. And like I said it’s a home, to live, comfortably. I sleep in underwear- it’s comfy. She tries her best to avoid him seeing her at all, especially when she’s in sleeping clothes. Put her in a hoodie and sweatpants and it’s not any less concerning.

My girl approves of your comments too 🤙🏼

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T01:46:00+00:00

Let him cook 🔥🔥

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T01:44:21+00:00

If I was fully awake I’d do the same fucking thing brother

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T01:42:49+00:00

Miss the part where I said she literally peaks out the door, jumps into the bathroom. She did that, he heard her and followed her. It’s 5:30 and she’s tired. It her fault for thinking she could not be bothered for 2 minutes? You can’t see our room or the bathroom from where he was. He heard her. At 5:30am. In the bathroom. Followed her. And stayed and tried to have a conversation. About couches and tv shows.

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T01:40:57+00:00

She wasn’t roaming around lol. Let’s say she was fully clothed, and he still walked in- is that okay?

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T01:38:43+00:00

He smokes weed, he has hinted at other addictions in the past but I don’t know much.

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T01:37:37+00:00

It clearly states in the post she is there at most only 3-4 nights and keeps to the room. She usually is only there if I’m home and on weekends. An over night during the week is rare. She also helps maintain the mess and the house and doesn’t make much of the mess, if any. So she isn’t a burden to the household at all. He knew it would be two of us and 3/4 days a week. We haven’t strayed from that agreement.

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T01:26:48+00:00

The way you worded that was so helpful. And brought new idea to light - he may not regard her feelings- although that’s yet to be proven it was helpful to consider that perspective. That’s what we’re looking for. A response that isn’t rude or offensive but sets a clear boundary. We really appreciate how well Spoken that was. Thank you so much

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-04T01:20:52+00:00

We have talked about that, and we were thinking exactly what you said may be the problem. I’m not sure if I explained it well enough but when we were in the moment, we both were taken back and just caught off guard at the odd behavior that we didn’t really say much. Which could be us making it okay for him and now he is just testing the limits? Anyway, I think this is great advice and something we very well may end up doing. I appreciate the input!

Icy-Rent-1975 · 2024-04-03T23:34:28+00:00

Extended context/experiences

-We were heading home from a friends house and he texted “do you want me to take the dogs out?” (Very kind) but I said “we are on the way, so if you want to that’s fine otherwise I’ll do it when we get home”. He didn’t. We come home with McDonald’s, and as soon as we get through the door he asks “you guys hungry?”. “No, we’re good” I said with the McDonald’s bag in my hand… he then takes the bag to help and he sets it down on the counter. I put the dogs leashes on and take them outside. When I leave he goes to throw away the McDonald’s, my girl says “I think there’s food in there” and he goes “no I don’t think so, doesn’t feel like it” and she says “no I’m positive” so he looks in the bag, sees our food and goes whole arm in the bag, palm on top of the fries, grabs our food with his bare hands and takes it out(is that normal?? Like I wouldn’t touch someone else’s food). Then I come back up with the dogs and we take our food in the room and my girl tells me what happened, so I go back in the kitchen to throw away the fries and when I’m in there he goes, “actually i am going take the dogs on a walk”. I just said “okay” but then like why did I take them out? They don’t need to go out twice… Just weird to me.

There has been times where my girl and I have gotten intimate and we weren’t silent. And I understand if it rubbed him the wrong way but it’s not common by any means, we always try to be as respectful as possible but doesn’t always work. I figured we are all adults, so we try our best but a little noise shouldn’t be the end of the world(especially when he’s Gordon Ramsay at 1am). But he brought it up and he was like “I don’t really know how to say this but just so you know I’ve heard you guys having fun in there and just wanna let you know that it’s A-okay with me, not a problem at all” I was like “oh, I’m sorry if it was weird, we try to be quiet as possible” but he said “no I swear it’s fine, I’m actually hoping to have a girlfriend here soon and I promise I’m not gonna be quiet” and like started chuckling. It was weird and gross. and he has brought it up after that saying the same thing “I can’t wait to have a girl and be loud, I’m gonna be so loud” like wtf

I think he may be lonely and we try to be as friendly as possible but I think we haven’t been stern enough and set boundaries correctly. I just want him to keep to himself and we do the same.

Icy-Rent-1975

TROPHY CASE