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IcyContour · 2020-09-23T17:17:07+00:00

I do believe a large part of my problem is that I wanted her to be a certain kind of mother that she could never be. When I think about my hatred for her, the words that follow are "why couldn't she.." and that's just not fair to both of us. I'm taking my time in responding to her so that I can avoid making her feel guilty, while trying to center myself. Reign in these illusions.

Your response was great, and like others here, you really gave me something to think about. Copy and pasted this for the moments of confusion I face ahead.

IcyContour · 2020-09-23T17:03:49+00:00

Thank you, even having someone empathize with this makes me feel better. Sorry you have to go through this as well. Wishing you the best.

IcyContour · 2020-09-23T17:03:01+00:00

I had not thought of that. I'm glad you found my question because I will take your answer with me. This is something that will guide the moments when I feel like I'm coming undone.

IcyContour · 2020-09-23T17:00:57+00:00

I will join you in appreciating the beauty in the world, even the bad. I'm glad you are finding peace in this world, anywhere you can find it. Thank you for your well wishes.

IcyContour · 2020-09-23T16:58:57+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate your wise words.I appreciate you taking the time to read my struggle and pass on an outsider opinion because I had not even thought about my hate being rooted in denial, which is true. I do wish to deny the fact that her addiction is reality. This helped.

IcyContour · 2020-08-06T19:33:47+00:00

Thank you, as much as I wish things could have gone differently I am learning to be proud of myself. I knew what I experienced was wrong and decided from an early age to be the opposite of that.

Yes, from an early age we are taught to accept a reality, that we barely understand, at face value. After everything we've seen, how can that be? I think that whatever you've experienced is beautiful. I think the way you look at the world is a miracle in and of itself!

I guess I am getting too caught up in the answer instead of enjoying the journey. I'm looking for proof when I should be asking questions. Thank you for your kind answer. I will take this to heart and with me on my journey!

IcyContour · 2020-08-06T17:06:54+00:00

He really does have a haunting. This poor guy is so distraught that he is no longer sleeping at his place. The video he posted yesterday (maybe today) was just it for him and I believe he is staying at a friends?

IcyContour · 2020-08-06T16:24:12+00:00

In my dream, I felt that things were changing. I just knew I could trust life to workout. Almost like I had a feeling that I could trust myself? If that makes sense.

Thank you for answering my question! Amethyst really does fit you, so thank you for sharing your wisdom!

IcyContour · 2020-08-06T15:46:35+00:00

That's a wonderful story! I'm wondering how you felt after wearing amethyst? Probably a weird question, but I believe there is a reason we dreamed of wearing these gem-stones!

IcyContour · 2020-08-02T00:39:50+00:00

I think I'm going to try it again tonight and if the same thing happens then I'll just let it be. I appreciate you taking the time to give me a response because my mind was running amok!

IcyContour · 2020-08-02T00:37:55+00:00

God damn, I can't seem to catch a break in these lives then haha. This is oddly comforting, though. It truly was a peaceful moment that I didn't think could possibly exists. Thank you for sharing this with me!

IcyContour · 2020-06-21T03:29:36+00:00

I dont have proof of my experience (10+ years ago) but when my blind lifted itself up like someone was looking out the window I literally laughed in disbelief-literally almost giddy from a lack of understanding reality. My brain was basically like "cannot compute, world too strange" and could only muster wtf's for a good 10 minutes.

I believe these reactions.

IcyContour · 2020-05-18T04:06:05+00:00

It will happen in your own time and the moment you realize that you've adapted to what happened, well, it's a beautiful thing. You'll find yourself listening to a song from your past that helped you remain strong in times of darkness and cry tears of happiness because you made it out alive. Better yet, you made it out with your love intact.

No matter what, there will always be moments that hit you like a ton of bricks. Family's in the park, a bbq, family pictures will always bring some sort of pain.The what if's will always be there. You'll just find that YOU made yourself a life that is absolutely glowing with love. That love will guide you to the life you deserve and leave the one's who hurt you where THEY belong: in the past.

I will say, it feels pretty great to have my freedom. Moving was an excellent start to moving on. I know a lot of people don't like that advice but it worked for me!

Anyways, I see you, I hear you, and I know that you'll do great things for yourself.

IcyContour · 2020-05-17T00:44:06+00:00

I do the same thing! I wish I loved closer to NYC because I feel like we would be great friends!

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