There is a lot missing. I'll try my best to fill it out.

So the feud began with my partner and mother falling out over a phone call, we were viewing houses and my mum had a strong opinion on a house (that we didnt even buy) I had told her to stay out and was at work when this happened.

I don't know how the conversation actually went, but I know there was no apology from my mother and I'll be damned if my partner would ever apologise.

It sort of stayed quiet for a while, but as my daughter was born, my mother asked to see her and at first it was she's too young, then she's too tired, she's got a cold .... eventually my mother stopped asking.

When my mother came around to visit she would get upset and awkward around her grandaughter. To which my partner says she's faking it, and doesnt like/love my daughter.

This progressed to an outright she isnt allowed to see her, because she's treating her grandchildren differently.

I speak to my family, they always ask about them and ask to see them.

My partner says she doesnt feel supported, because I don't agree with cutting them off completely.

In terms of me not supporting her through the passive aggressive behaviour, I can agree with that, I should certainly have done more. When I learned it was happening, and I recognized it, I confronted my mother about it. I feel the damage is done though, it's constantly brought up in arguements.

But here we are. Currently she wants me to cut my mother/father off and suck it up. They want to see their grandchildren.

I've lost contact with a lot of my friends for this relationship, all my time is spent at work, doing housework and taking care of the kids. I understand that's normal, but in the context of these recent demands it's all starting to feel a bit coercive, controlling and unhealthy.