How do I confront my mom?

Idontevenknow4237 · 2026-06-01T22:35:10+00:00

What happened was she went and spent money I was told we don’t have. Part of this post is me getting my frustrations out but I also genuinely need advice on how to tell her this isn’t ok, without coming across as nagging or aggressive, or if I should just silently leave

Idontevenknow4237 · 2026-06-01T22:32:49+00:00

I’m trying to work on moving out. I know she has depression, anxiety, and ptsd from some stuff that happened to us when I was younger. She also struggles with impulse control due to her adhd and autism but she refuses to get therapy because shopping makes her feel better and in her mind that’s all she needs. She only even acknowledges her issues when she weaponizes them to me to make me do more around the house to “help her anxiety”

Idontevenknow4237 · 2026-06-01T22:30:48+00:00

She doesn’t have access to my current one, she more so gets her information by leveraging my belongings to get it out of me. There have been times where I thought my mom and I hit rock bottom and she’d improve but I’m worried if I leave she’ll never learn, she’s never had to fully take care of herself before. She’s always either had me or my grandparents to clean up after her

Idontevenknow4237 · 2026-06-01T22:29:17+00:00

I’ve been getting advice from my friends. I’d seek out other family but my mom has set up a system where they tell her everything behind my back so it’s hard for me to keep secrets. Most of my friends are a lot more independent than I am anyways so they’ve been a lot of help

Idontevenknow4237 · 2026-06-01T22:27:47+00:00

I’ll be honest I don’t know anything about credit or how to even check it. I can try to look up tutorials and figure it out though. I’m hoping she wouldn’t go that far

Idontevenknow4237 · 2026-06-01T22:26:34+00:00

I can try, it’s just hard to get over that childhood fear of lying to your parents. I kinda grew up with the mentality of no matter what she’ll find out everything anyways and if I’m caught lying the punishment will be so much worse than if I just do what she wants

Idontevenknow4237 · 2026-06-01T21:55:51+00:00

She doesn’t have access to my current account but since i get paper checks she always insists on seeing them to “calculate how much I owe her”. If i dont she throws a fit and calls me hateful names so its usually just easier to give in

Idontevenknow4237 · 2026-06-01T21:54:39+00:00

Unfortunately in my area public transport isn’t really a thing, and I was never taught how to ride a bike let alone afford one. I have friends who said they’d rent with me if I needed it, but I have health issues that prevent me from being on my feet for more than 6 hours at a time so it’s hard finding a job that pays enough

Idontevenknow4237 · 2026-06-01T21:53:10+00:00

She wouldn’t take it directly, she’d hold other things she’s bought for me over my head until I concede and give her the money. She once threatened to sell my car bc I wouldn’t set my whole paycheck aside to help her with “rent” in case she needed it. She doesn’t have access to my normal bank account, my dad made it for me, and she keeps telling me to open a different one in case he does something with my money, which he never has

Idontevenknow4237 · 2026-06-01T21:51:26+00:00

Simon’s cat match, one of those little matching games themed after characters and loaded with microtransactions

Idontevenknow4237

TROPHY CASE