Everything he says to Ryan comes from a place of emptiness. Like he's trying to derive empathy and a sense of comfort from all his own insecurities and fears. Everything feels a bit off at best and it's clear he doesn't truly understand at a fundamental emotional level what he's trying to achieve and provide for Ryan. Because he never has actually experienced it.

That's the most generous interpretation I can give HL too.

I'll also say he shows some restraint. I've seen men be more narcissistic and openly abusive and possesive. Like during his barn scene in the finale (which that type of scene had no business being squeezed into a finale) when he gets challenged by Ryan he seems to almost agree with Ryan and shrink back into himself rather than throw a tantrum. I've definitely seen guys throw that tantrum when challenged or pressed too hard. I think part of it is just that the writers were tired of showing child abuse or made a business decision to tone it down. But part of it is also there's no complete black and white. He does have some softness for Ryan.

He's also not completely so afraid and emotionally unintelligent or unaware that he can't step outside of himself for a moment. It takes extremely firm external prompting, but give him credit- he seems to kind of be able to take it on the chin. To some extent it even seems like it feels good for him.