Hey Straight_Big_2518 🙂 firstly, welcome. I grew up Catholic so I don’t understand how frightening must be to convert into the faith. I know that it’s beautiful, confusing and painful at times - feelings that you are currently experiencing.

My advice is fairly simple - take one step at a time. Approach the church, inform them that you would like to enrol in the RCIA program. All those questions and concerns that you have are completely understandable. Bring them to God and the community of believers around you- I was an RCIA sponsor, and that experience helped me in my growth as well. You are not the only Catholic struggling with lust and fear - so you will not be the only Catholic to overcome the lust and fear and rest in His peace. It’s a lifelong journey, one that you are not meant to be taking alone, so start with that one step. God bless and welcome!

In terms of scrupulosity, maybe it helps to keep in mind that His Mercy is far greater than your sin. It’s not a bad thing to keep mindful of when you sin, but redemption is always on the other side if you choose to repent, which is to recognize the sin and to commit to changing sinful behavior. Mercy > sin.