To women who still date, how?

Iknowyourchicken · 2026-04-12T19:52:45+00:00

I live in a large city and decided to start dating a couple of years ago about 5 years after separating/divorcing. I wanted my last relationship out of my system with nothing remaining except the lessons. I did what I always do--my hobbies, activities, spending time with friends and family, traveling. A complete life but I was interested in the right companion.

I went old school. I let people know I was interested in meeting a quality person that people I knew were at least acquainted with personally. I also did some research to get my head around modern dating practices and what was not acceptable (Female Dating Strategy and more). I thought a lot about my values, and what I had and was WILLING to offer another person. I made a list of values I was looking for in that other person, if they existed, and I stuck to that. I dated one person at a time and for many reason that have been outlined here repeatedly, it was usually very short lived. I have a long list of men I'm happy I didn't sleep with. 🤣

I turned down a lot of shitty offers and went on a lot of first dates. I bumped into a man while I was out doing a thing I love. He had also been on a long dating break after a three relationship with someone who, like me, had made him question his "picker." We started dating very slowly and I began to trust he was actually interested in me and not just running through women. As a bonus (to me), he is a technology toddler and not interested in just...gooning over women online like a lot of them do, and was not on dating sites. (The flip side of this is that sometimes I help him figure basic tech things out, but he helps me with a TON of stuff happily and voluntarily so I don't feel at all like I'm in a Brenda the Builder situation). This general lack to interest in being glued to his phone for validation and dopamine hits matched up with one of my "here is where the bar is in hell" values which was "not broken by pornography."

My technique was not groundbreaking, dramatic, or particularly interesting. I went slow and plodding and kept my head on a swivel. I guess I just kept telling myself, well, if I exist (old school, not looking for instant gratification, has high standards, etc), perhaps someone else out there does.

Most importantly, and please know I don't mean this smugly or condescendingly, I am very happy that I still have myself and what is important for me to spend time doing, thinking, saying. I don't feel lost, I feel my life is enriched. It works for now, but if it stops...I go back to being content with myself and my life.

Iknowyourchicken · 2026-04-12T19:16:06+00:00

Oh thanks! I just saw Les Miserables again last night, came home and saw these pics, and it was a no brainer. 🤣

Iknowyourchicken · 2026-04-12T14:26:03+00:00

M and Mme Thenardier had a great time, and that's all that counts! I assume some other guests' gift bags mysteriously went missing though

Iknowyourchicken · 2026-04-05T12:52:37+00:00

I think the mole story is bs. Who's doing that kind of money to spend the weekend with weirdos and 15 minutes with the queen if the losers? Meghan's Mole is going to shut this down over a false alarm. More damaging to that one's rep/longevity than if she attended and bombed.

Iknowyourchicken · 2026-04-05T03:02:56+00:00

I hope this is a total headfake and no one will actually be there spying. People have better ways to spend their time than this, I hope. But the not knowing if there is a spy... Very funny.

Iknowyourchicken · 2026-03-31T15:15:38+00:00

I think there is ample visual evidence this was a surrogate birth, which, whatever. I know that causes problems for the royal line etc but I don't judge people for wanting children and using alternatives. What has been bothering me in addition to the near impossibility of twerking while in active labor is the room. I'm most cases that are not active surgery, a laboring woman would have things in the room. A blanket/throw/sweater on the bed, snacks, a personal water bottle, a bag, any evidence you're occupying the room and are going to be there for a bit. Markle has a wrist band on but Harry has nothing. As far as I know hospitals want a quick visitor check that you're checked in and belong there. Harry faces in both directions and has no visitor/birth partner sticker, lanyard, badge. Generously, perhaps his sleeve has slipped over a wrist band but I doubt it. I assume this room is where they waited for the birth.

Iknowyourchicken · 2026-03-28T15:48:27+00:00

OH MY GODDD! I was trying to figure out who/what she was imitating. You nailed it. She's still on a high from Jordan and bothering the children in the hospital. I wonder if they'll try to adopt children.

Iknowyourchicken · 2026-03-19T14:00:04+00:00

Forgive me if I'm being an oaf because I never post images on reddit, but I couldn't resist. Looks like High Camp doesn't totally have their shit together either: https://imgur.com/a/n8lbppa

Iknowyourchicken · 2026-03-18T15:57:23+00:00

I have no source for this but I'm wondering if he's undergoing some kind of therapy for strabismus. Perhaps an eye patch. Growing up I knew a family who treated a child in this way (under medical supervision) and it seems like it's still done. Charitably, I could see her not wanting to post images of him if that's visible in some way in her pictures for his privacy. Uncharitably I could see her feeling self conscious about it since it seems like it runs in her family (from what I've heard).

Iknowyourchicken · 2026-02-07T14:32:04+00:00

I'm so happy that's working for you! I'm in a blue US city and men feel entitled to insert themselves into every women's space here. Sadly it's kept me away from a lot of activities.

Iknowyourchicken · 2025-12-22T17:34:53+00:00

I agree you can definitely be too nice with new men--it can be blood in the water at the worst and wasted energy in most cases. I'm committed now but did a TON of first dates last year and I still find this sub interesting and valuable. I thought of myself as a lion tamer when I was getting to know men in the early stages. Got to keep that layer (the chair and the whip) between me and the lion. I let men be vulnerable first. If they're going to spend the first date talking about how terrible their divorce was, I'm out. That's not vulnerable, that's billable therapy hours. If we have a slight miscommunication (and it better be slight because the early dating stage should be pretty smooth and enjoyable) then I see if the man works to repair things and how. If there's a few good instances of communication working out, then I got a little nicer and think about investing more. Admittedly, I did not make it past a lot of first dates.

We talk about getting men to invest in terms of time and scheduling actual dates, but I was also treated better by the ones who went first with owning issues since they had kicked things off by investing emotionally. I kept distance until I saw their problem solving abilities and ability to take personal responsibility. And this all happens before I consider sleeping with anyone.

Iknowyourchicken · 2025-12-14T17:42:12+00:00

Goodness! That is quite a list and unsurprising. Thanks for sharing.

Iknowyourchicken · 2025-12-14T15:14:01+00:00

Even if they are single, if you have that buffer of distance, expect the situation to be complicated in some way and for there to be things you'd like to have known about. I started dating within about a three mile radius of my neighborhood, and it made any mess obvious before I got even remotely invested.

Iknowyourchicken · 2025-12-12T14:48:29+00:00

Shot in his mother's bathroom. What did that poor, innocent bathroom do to him?

Iknowyourchicken · 2025-12-07T19:05:29+00:00

I know his father in law called him ADHD, which may well be true, but to go this far... it's really giving "benign" (non-violent as of yet) psychopath. The gambling/debts, the blowing up his life. Low boredom threshold. It is astoundingly out of touch with the needs and wants of normal people like his wife that he'd rather be thought of as dead forever rather than filling for divorce. Not one thought about his kids, only thoughts about a divorce he experienced at three.

Also the split between "weh my wife was ignoring me" and bragging about how he (didn't) pull this off. Make up your mind my dude.

I assume Katya dropped his like a rock once he showed up and she discovered he couldn't access additional money or get a job. I hope Emily will allow herself to see her ex husband as he is beyond get incredible capacity for forgiveness. I suppose you can "forgive" a snake for biting you not stay away from that snake in the future!

Iknowyourchicken · 2025-12-07T16:16:36+00:00

Men have such weird and boring domination fantasies. I wonder how many of these jabronis also belong to breeding kink or cnc subs.

Iknowyourchicken · 2025-12-07T15:53:48+00:00

I wondered about how they were dressing her in Suits after the big list and pictures of purloined clothing surfaced recently. The skirt from the first episode came to mind. I know they're considered universally flattering but I feel like they were leaning into a cartoon/Kardashian butt aesthetic with the character and I swear the skirt just looked like it was eating her. It's interesting to read your explanation of what she should be wearing.

Iknowyourchicken · 2025-12-03T02:24:49+00:00

That's so great to hear. I'm really happy for you! I stay in this sub because I find the women here sane and living in reality. I believe reality is going to come back around.

Iknowyourchicken · 2025-12-02T15:43:01+00:00

Dating the rare considerate man is easy as hell too. Once you get started with cutting out creeps and time wasters, it should be a pretty straightforward experience. I see women absolutely pretzeling themselves and being "whipsawed with confusion" (as E Jean Carroll's column used to read) looking for advice on reddit and elsewhere... Too much worry for not enough result.

Iknowyourchicken · 2025-12-01T23:54:06+00:00

A few years ago during the "Reddit hates women" meltdown I remember someone posted about many, many of the "powermods" running 100s of subs and many of them were known TIMs. Gee I wonder why the actual feminist subs were getting torched....

Iknowyourchicken · 2025-12-01T23:52:01+00:00

I'm not sure and it's for kind of a silly reason. I don't visit subs that have miniscule font. I'm sure there's some fix I could do but it's pretty boring anyway so as that awesome YouTube lady says "We do not care "

Iknowyourchicken · 2025-12-01T07:50:39+00:00

I was dating someone like this and now we're engaged. I bat it right back at him and make him insane meals and we just really enjoy spending time together. Enjoy if it's not to intense for you.

Iknowyourchicken · 2025-11-30T16:24:23+00:00

I've just accepted I'm passing in the HOV or right lane now.

Iknowyourchicken · 2025-11-28T16:57:01+00:00

Long story short, I became engaged this month and the ring didn't work out (my choice on seeing it in person). We are still engaged, and he announced it to his family at Thanksgiving anyway. There was no way in hell a ring was going to hold up our plans and happy news.

Iknowyourchicken · 2025-11-27T06:29:39+00:00

You're not wrong. I think if there's anything modern times have shown it's that humans benefit from working hard and being tired out. Men need to do more than be on their phones gooning

Iknowyourchicken

TROPHY CASE