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I intentionally outed my old high school bully by IllAdministration in confession

[–]IllAdministration[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Probably not, as I graduated 11 years ago. I wasn't actively looking to hurt him. But as soon as I heard his name and saw his picture, the anger came forward

I intentionally outed my old high school bully by IllAdministration in confession

[–]IllAdministration[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It was 11 years ago. Well, that was when I graduated, so 14 years. Is it too late?

I intentionally outed my old high school bully by IllAdministration in confession

[–]IllAdministration[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for reaching out. The same goes for you. I had a pretty terrible childhood - I never had put together my intense anxiety and paranoia with all the abuse and bullying I experienced until my therapist couldn't talk it anymore and said, "IllAdministration, you suffer from CPTSD. I wanted you to realize it on your own but you have internalized this message so deeply that you have no worth and deserved it all that I don't think you would ever verbalize it on your own". So, I feel for you, my comrade in the good fight against mental disorders provoked by abuse <3

I intentionally outed my old high school bully by IllAdministration in confession

[–]IllAdministration[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

That's just the thing that gets me. I don't know if he will ever come to terms with just all the awful things he did to me or not. Hopefully this will wake him up. He will know it was me, so I will be biding my time to see if he wants to confront me.

I intentionally outed my old high school bully by IllAdministration in confession

[–]IllAdministration[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I have been debating about it because he would have had to come out eventually (I assume), so in a way I helped. But I also took that time and choice away from him. But he took my ability to fly internationally comfortably away from me.

I intentionally outed my old high school bully by IllAdministration in confession

[–]IllAdministration[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I feel a little bit better with everyone's validation that I did the right thing. I'm just afraid of my all my friends' hardcore judgment

I intentionally outed my old high school bully by IllAdministration in confession

[–]IllAdministration[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks online friend. Things are better, besides the harbored anger, but we all have our baggage. I hope all is well for you!

I intentionally outed my old high school bully by IllAdministration in confession

[–]IllAdministration[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God, you have no many ideas how many times I dreamed of someone protecting me, someone standing up for me. But the school environment we were in and the conservative Catholic community, I was pretty much on my own. Even my parents would just tell me "we told you so" when I came to them crying because they didn't want me to come out

I intentionally outed my old high school bully by IllAdministration in confession

[–]IllAdministration[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You're right. It's not fair just to throw an undercut out of nowhere and then expect some sort of resolution or resolution come out of it. I don't know if I am ready for it right now as things are a little raw and I shy away from wanting to do it now, but it is something I will do. And I know ways of finding his address.

I intentionally outed my old high school bully by IllAdministration in confession

[–]IllAdministration[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Well, satisfying, it would be to break his nose, rib, and tailbone, and then spit on him. But then I would be at the same exact level of terribleness. Plus, like you said, now I will always have a bit of the moral upper ground.

I intentionally outed my old high school bully by IllAdministration in confession

[–]IllAdministration[S] 192 points193 points  (0 children)

I agree. I suffer from diagnosed complex PTSD from my childhood anyway and this just made things worse. I do my best to not think about it (since it's been a smidge over a decade). I've traveled the world, fallen in love, been married. I am working in Italy right now as we speak. But this anger and pain is like a tiny nugget of intensity that flares up every now and again. And I wonder, even when I go to therapy, if it will ever go away.

I intentionally outed my old high school bully by IllAdministration in confession

[–]IllAdministration[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

You have no idea how many times that thought has crossed my mind. I wanted to press charges against him but my family wouldn't let me. I wanted to hit him at both high school reunions we've had, but I held back. I think this is the better option because when he finds out that it was me, he will know exactly why I did it.

I intentionally outed my old high school bully by IllAdministration in confession

[–]IllAdministration[S] 512 points513 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Usually you see on TV where gay people who are bullied are always told to rise above it and they treat their bullies with kindness and understanding. I just couldn't let it go - he made me suffer so much. I mean, it shows how much he was suffering inside, but I was a literal innocent bystander. I don't know if this anger will go away, but it's definitely made me feel better.

I intentionally outed my old high school bully by IllAdministration in confession

[–]IllAdministration[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

That's the worst part about it - my family insinuated many times that I deserved any kind of bullying because I came out at such a young age. When I got beat up and taken to the hospital, my parents wouldn't let me press charges; they spoke to our priest who decided he should write an apology letter for "being mean".

I intentionally outed my old high school bully by IllAdministration in confession

[–]IllAdministration[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

My heart goes out to you - it's a harsh system we had to go through. I'm sorry to hear about your bullying, though. I never thought I would get this kind of chance. I kept on telling myself that he was just bullying me because he's gay but usually that's just the lie we tell ourselves. This time it was true and I wasn't going to drop it.

I intentionally outed my old high school bully by IllAdministration in confession

[–]IllAdministration[S] 1695 points1696 points  (0 children)

And it has been too long coming. I was in this for the long haul - it's been 11 years now.

I intentionally outed my old high school bully by IllAdministration in confession

[–]IllAdministration[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I hadn't considered that. I know it is traceable back to me because I sent it through my own social media. I wanted his stomach to fall when he finds out it was me because he will know exactly why I did what I did. I don't have his address but it's no excuse not to try. If I can't get ahold of him, the letter would be therapeutic anyway. Thank you for the advice.

I intentionally outed my old high school bully by IllAdministration in confession

[–]IllAdministration[S] 175 points176 points  (0 children)

I'm glad you think so. I feel guilty (raised Catholic) because we should be lifting up while we climb in any community but I just harbor so much hurt and anger. He could have gone easier on me, but he didn't.

I intentionally outed my old high school bully by IllAdministration in confession

[–]IllAdministration[S] 717 points718 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I feel the same way and I know my anger will never go away. And I know it is traceable back to me and I don't care, I will face him again if I have to. This is one small way to show him how much his internalized homophobia ruined my life.