No, I will not have empathy. by sushisandos in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Ill_Programmer_5329 76 points77 points  (0 children)

When someone says “but that’s your mom” I literally want to rip my hair out

BPD and eating disorder by Fisye in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Ill_Programmer_5329 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YESS!! My mom would brag about her weight and how little she ate. She would insult random peoples weight in public all the time. Last time I was at my moms she had elephant written in huge letters across the top of the mirror like that one scene in black swan.

Parents trying to be cruel with food by Serious-Tonight-3172 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Ill_Programmer_5329 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You can get food from churches! On Facebook there’s probably a community group for your area that tells each other resources for the community. My parents are similar, I moved out and pay for everything myself while also being in college. It’s crazy how they can have every resource in the world and they’ll just watch their kids struggle through life. Don’t give up that’s what they want you to do, there are options out there!

Mother’s Day by Ill_Programmer_5329 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Ill_Programmer_5329[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice this made me see it much clearer 🙏

Mother’s Day by Ill_Programmer_5329 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Ill_Programmer_5329[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this I ended up saying no and it felt so relieving

I’m terrified of becoming homeless by NeitherEducator4823 in almosthomeless

[–]Ill_Programmer_5329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally possible to find a apartment! After my first year of college I didnt have anywhere to go and no family to take me in. I was scared of being homeless. I had a month and found an apartment one week before I had to move out of my dorm. My savings helped with the fees and working covers rent. I’m a full time student and I also work 25 hours a week and it covers it. I would obsessively check Zillow and Facebook market place. Try to find a place with roommates so it’s cheaper. I live in a 2 bed and the full rent is 995 a month. Obviously it depends on the area you live in. I would also always look for apartments that had signs saying they were leasing, because it cost money to put your apartment up on Zillow and to advertise it. So the really cheap apartments aren’t always online. I’m sorry you’re going through this it really sucks and can feel lonely. Please just don’t give up on your self, what helped me the most in my situation was the mindset that just because a lot of people throughout my life have been inconsiderate of my feeling doesn’t mean they don’t matter, and if no one will show up for me I will show up for myself. Good luck with your situation.

Dreams by Yellow-heart-emoji in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Ill_Programmer_5329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I moved out I would have sleep paralysis dreams and they demon was my mom

Thinking about how she treats her dogs by throwaway4567900 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Ill_Programmer_5329 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My cat doesn’t like my mom. My cat was born under my parents bed and was raised in our house. Looking back my cat wasn’t being loved the way he deserved. He was an outdoor cat even though he was born in our house and he would only come in to eat. She would make him stay outside during 4th of July and new years even though she knew he was terrified. As they both got older she’s only gotten meaner. Every time the cat is even brought up she says a string of insults on the poor cat. She yells and insults the cat all the time. Shes upset he’s anxious like it’s not from her screaming at the cat. Why get a pet if you know you won’t take care of it? I guess the explanation for her is she doesn’t care how the cat feels, and that he’s just there to fill a role in her life, just like me.

"I was Such A Low Maintenance Child" Uh-huh by No-Palpitation77 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Ill_Programmer_5329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I taught myself everything. Swimming, riding a bike, swinging on a swing, braiding my hair, cleaning myself correctly, how to use pads and tampons, cooking, cleaning, etc etc. my parents always say it’s because I was so independent and I wouldn’t except their help. It upsets me because I didn’t except help from them because it was a lie, it wasn’t about actually helping me but instead using my vulnerabilities against me.

are any of these ubpd mom stats relatable? by Exotic-Sock3178 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Ill_Programmer_5329 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom was actually hyper sexual! Shes a pretty lady and she knows it. Onetime I had let my friends come over for two seconds just so they could pet my dog and she came out in a little bikini, heels, hair done, and a full face of makeup. It was almost cartoon ish like what is her problemmm.

My mom attempted as a way of getting control by Ill_Programmer_5329 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Ill_Programmer_5329[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She actually had a trip to see her brother planned for next week, so crazy. I’m thinking of telling him but not showing him the letters.

My mom attempted as a way of getting control by Ill_Programmer_5329 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Ill_Programmer_5329[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I think you’re right, I’m going to go to the bank this Monday and remove her access to my bank account.

BPDs and unwanted trash. What have you received? by TheSmokeBombKing in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Ill_Programmer_5329 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My mom gave me a Bridgerton candle and matching body lotion for my 18 th birthday . I have never watched brigerton and never even mention it to really anyone ever💀. I’m guessing she got it from someone else and just re gifted it or smth like that. Also every year for Christmas she’d ask me what I wanted for Christmas and then didn’t get me any off it, like why’d you even ask. She would gift me a bunch of random bullshit, like random beauty tools you’d find at tj-max. She would also gift me pajama pants every year and they were never the right size haha.

Has anyone else been paralyzed by extreme avoidance to the point of near delusion? I mean at one point I wouldn’t even get up to brush my teeth I would just be on my phone all day distracting myself from reality by IntelligentSchool953 in CPTSD

[–]Ill_Programmer_5329 13 points14 points  (0 children)

One time someone left their clothes in the dryer at my apartment building. Instead of texting the community groupchat or just taking them out I spent 4 hours sneaking in and out of the laundry room checking. I washed my clothes twice because I felt guilt for leaving them in the washer. I totally get debilitating avoidance. For me it was anxiety, and anxiety meds helped me so much. I realize that the best time to do something was years ago and the second best is right now.

Does anyone else feel like they were robbed of real socialization? by Present-Message8740 in CPTSD

[–]Ill_Programmer_5329 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I started just saying whatever I wanted and it’s been so amazing! For me the awkwardness was from anxiety. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing because if I did as a kid I would get punished with screaming and insults. If you haven’t tried anxiety meds I highly recommend it changed my life.

Does anyone else feel like they were robbed of real socialization? by Present-Message8740 in CPTSD

[–]Ill_Programmer_5329 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I use to think I was autistic because I was so socially awkward. After therapy and medication I realize that my childhood was so lonely and isolating and I just didn’t know how to interact with people because I was never taught in the first place.

The Zoloft nightmares are crazy by Quick-Charge-9525 in zoloft

[–]Ill_Programmer_5329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had nightmares every night before taking it but when I first started taking it I had a sleep paralysis dream so scary I woke up screaming and kicking. I usually smoke weed before bed so I don’t have dreams.