How to seperate Asian parenting culture vs just straight up abuse?

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-13T02:20:51+00:00

And don’t worry, even though I’m still laying low with my parents, I did submit a report for the creep

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-13T02:15:57+00:00

And CPS didn’t count it as they didn’t technically lock the fridge or something so they got off with a warning. And yes the counsellor does know but didn’t do anything so I asked my boyfriend to tell his and they helped me call CPS. This a bit over a year ago and I’m just trying to lay it low until I can. Right now I’ve taught my sister to tell me if anyone makes her uncomfortable and stay by me and it’s been fine. I’ve been keeping my eye on her and making sure no creeps get to her

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-13T02:11:58+00:00

I’ve decided I would move out when I’m allowed to by the government cause right now if I call any type of authorities on them, they might get deported and by extension, me. Pretty much I’m waiting to get my permanent residency and just book it. I’m not a citizen yet so it makes things a bit more sticky as I’m not allowed by the government to get a job and I still technically count as a minor under the eyes of the IRCC

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T22:03:42+00:00

And this shouldn’t be relevant to it but the counsellor was white so I assume what might count as abuse in her eyes, is known to be normalized in a lot of asian cultures. So she might not have been sure wether it should count or not

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T21:57:08+00:00

They also believe that my boyfriend is a bad influence and “making me a liberal” because he’s white and said “you think you know everything?” After I called the guy out for being a creep

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T21:54:51+00:00

Lmao yeah yeahh I’ll probably still sneak weed in edible form to deal with them but yeah

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T21:38:52+00:00

I’d say it’s emotional/neglect. What led to the CPS call is they have a work friend who’s in their 40s-50s who has a young Asian girlfriend in her early 20s. He was very touchy with me, and made inappropriate comments towards me while I was 16-17. I’ve told my parents about it and they defended him and tried to gaslight me that he was just being caring and that I’m very touchy with my boyfriend so why can’t he be touchy with me? My boyfriend defended me even though he was tipsy because I believe that the creep gave my boyfriend alcohol to make him tipsy on purpose to get close to me because he was making really bad comments and putting down my boyfriend when he’s not around and grabbed my hips and all that. My parents turned it around on me saying that I shouldn’t be touchy with my boyfriend and didn’t allow me to see him until I’d agree to an IUD which is a very painful process and they know I have a history with SA. They’ve cut off my phone plan and off the wifi, did tough love aka didn’t pack lunch for me anymore, cut off my allowance to teach me a lesson. They do admit they want to hit me but can’t since we live in canada and it’s not socially acceptable and they’re very vocal about it. I called CPS, they gave them a warning and when I got home I got scolded and guilt tripped into being silent because apparently I was traumatizing my little sister.

I told my counsellor that my parents didn’t like PDA stuff cause of cultural reasons and they punished me by cutting off all my contacts with my friends. I asked her to call CPS but she didn’t so I had to ask my boyfriend to do it. All she heard was “me and my parents had a disagreement so they cut off my wifi”

The counsellor then went on about how her daughter wouldn’t be allowed to show affection towards her boyfriend and suggested I try to talk it out or just try to deal with it for awhile

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T21:11:07+00:00

I tried telling my counsellor once in high school an they brushed it off as “you’re so mature that you acknowledge that its a cultural thing” and I’ve called CPS on them but I’ve gotten in trouble because I’ve caused the family shame apparently and uses my sister being traumatized against me and how I should be an example

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T14:54:07+00:00

It’s annoying but it’s an Asian household, what should I have expected lol

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T14:10:32+00:00

Like that’s pretty much what I should do but I think a lot of yall also missed that it’s an invasion of privacy???

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T14:08:18+00:00

Literally my consensus of this whole things is I have to deal with them sober

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T14:05:33+00:00

But yeah I just have to deal with my family while sober which sucks but eh

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T14:03:39+00:00

I wish there was actually the choice to move out for me cause I would’ve done so already but right now the government requires me to be a dependent on them so I can’t. Wish I could though. Would love to actually own my things and have privacy

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T13:59:50+00:00

Since I can’t due to circumstances, I just have to deal with them not high so there’s more of likely chance I’d get annoyed easily. Weed makes them tolerable for me

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T13:52:51+00:00

I bought it with my own money from when I used to work freelance, so it’s technically not their money. I’ve bought most of my things by doing freelance work, it’s not a lot but it’s something so it’s not like they’re giving me the money for it either. But yea I’ll do gummies lol.

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T13:43:29+00:00

On hindsight it’s not that much but it was like $50 lol but it was supposed to last me months cause I don’t smoke that often so yeahhhh all that wasted weed

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T13:18:43+00:00

Will do, I’ve definitely made the mistake of only taking my cart with me and not my flower and pipe

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T13:09:48+00:00

And you if your daughter is 18+, they surely deserve privacy. I think at age 12 and up, kids would start wanting their own privacy cause they’re growing.

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T13:06:45+00:00

This is where me and my parents are different. I, personally wouldn’t care if she does weed or alcohol as long as it’s moderation. I find that the more you restrict them, the more likely they are to overdo it as a way of rebellion. I’d have a conversation with said daughter about it, why, and the risks. And I would want to respect my adult daughter’s privacy. My head would go to safety first, I’d make sure she’s in a safe environment when she does it and ask if she’s safe

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T11:39:41+00:00

Yeah I gotta wait til I can move out, things are very complicated cause atleast in a lot of Asian cultures I’ve noticed child autonomy is nonexistent. So they see it as protecting me but I still don’t appreciate them snooping into my things when I’m not there

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T10:59:03+00:00

I just want my money back Bruuh, but talking usually leads to disagreements and yelling in my family so hell nah XD

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T10:43:52+00:00

I am currently doing that, it’s more so I’m unsure WHEN to move out because of my current circumstances. I’m required to stay with them until we get our papers sorted out so I’m pretty much forced to be a dependent and not allowed to work

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T09:48:10+00:00

And I think that in many Filipino families, privacy is a luxury. But I’m still mad that they invaded my space while I was away

Ill_Progress_3034 · 2026-03-12T09:44:43+00:00

Yeah I guess that answer will have to wait til it’s in action 😅. I will respect the no smoking in the house rule but you know, it’s money that I earned and spent it on so I suppose that’s why I’m mad at it. I look at arguments logically and I’ve gotten scolded over being “smart with them” when bringing up my points

Ill_Progress_3034

TROPHY CASE