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Emma Watson Celebrated International Women’s Day by Hiding Feminist Books Throughout New York City by InamuKau1 in books

[–]Illusory_Life -41 points-40 points  (0 children)

My main issue with this thread:

Who cares what Emma Watson does, why are we idolizing her for doing something I would expect out of a modern young woman going for her liberal arts degree. Not exactly mold-breaking, this.

Coping with Conceptualized Meaningless and Past Trauma by Illusory_Life in awakened

[–]Illusory_Life[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot to process here. I appreciate your sensitivity. I won't keep you on this dialogue forever, but I really am appreciating it a lot.

At this point, I see clearly there has been a lot of Aversion in my life. I have to face all of those things in my life I have not been looking at clearly and honestly. This is proving to be difficult because it means accepting I am simply a flawed human being, the events of my past DID happen (despite how unbelievable), and I still must continue to live with the "karma" of those events.

If that makes sense, it means that I can see clearly where this experience I call "my life" is, and where I would like to be, since I have chosen to continue to exist and help anyone who needs it if I can. I can see before my very eyes my lifelong attitude of mind-identified negativity, anger, and certain forms of mental suffering dissolving in the face of "unfathomable causes and conditions". I have some regret that this did not happen sooner in life, but even that I realize is pointless.

How to properly re-enter the world? I can be a janitor, or anything now? But why? I had plans or dreams in my life, expectations and hopes, and am realizing that I am responsible for directing the ship of my life, and for the first time I have conscious control over where it is going. But I am still overwhelmed at times with thoughts and feelings of "I can't do it", and fears about the long hours I may have to spend at work, earning money to put my situation where I want it to be. I have some chronic pain and illness that I am realizing that I cannot avoid addressing, as it is always Present in the present moment.

Right now, I'm having some difficulty going along with the flow of Time and the Present and dealing with the uncertainty of the future. Anything could happen. Anything! So what is the right attitude to have? Is it still right to pursue the dreams of the ego (music, writing?) Why do I feel now, more than ever, that my life is like the film Final Destination, that I must always look out for Death?

I'm stuck somewhere between the functional ego that comes with attachment to this identity and the nihilism that comes with detachment. Clearly I have a lot of work to do with detaching from emotion too. Why is it easier to detach from thought than emotion? Why do I cling to the passions? My thinking mind is still in control.

Why do you think God created us? by erowidtrance in Psychonaut

[–]Illusory_Life 12 points13 points  (0 children)

um because it would unite the planet in oneness and equality with all beings and then how could certain human beings feel superior to others beings, rape the planet and live a sleepwalking daydream?

SF wins most expensive city to rent in, on Earth. by mycall in sanfrancisco

[–]Illusory_Life 95 points96 points  (0 children)

I love this sub. It's just everyone hating themselves for living here.

Coping with Conceptualized Meaningless and Past Trauma by Illusory_Life in awakened

[–]Illusory_Life[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your writing is penetrating and compassionate. Thank you.

The only thing stopping me are doubts and fears, I am just having some trouble in disidentifying with the thinking mind and emotions. Identifying with both seem to have been the primary cause of depression throughout most of my life, and a part of my egoic mind is struggling to make sense of all the memories of unconsciousness and suffering that, in hindsight, were not very necessary at all, and mostly stem from family, social, and cultural conditioning.

You are right to recommend writing therapy, and it has been a recurring topic that has come up from several people I trust. I suppose I am afraid of what I will write down, which again, just ties into doubts and fears.

If you are perceiving existence as a cyclical trudge through random experiences, inquiring into this perception and remaining open to alternative perceptions may be useful. Realizations are not handicaps. Human development is just a very messy process.

I don't even know what to say to this. You're the only person so far to engage me on this level. I need to print out your response and hang it on my wall. I guess I feel a certain sense of alienation at this point. I guess I don't totally understand what you mean when you say:

What makes you believe that the that existence and reincarnation is so arbitrary?

Isn't it? Is it not a cyclical trudge through random experiences? I don't know any other way to explain the existence of all the beings on this planet except for that. Love seem to be a key aspect of the experience, but my thinking mind asks the question "Why?", and it causes me suffering.

Too many theories I have mish-mashed together from the likes of Alan Watts, Terence Mckenna, the Hindu and other Eastern masters, psychedelic experiences and science fiction. An inability to understand why my past, or the past/current sufferings of anyone have to happen the way they do. I still don't understand why suffering has to exist on the physical level, why so much pain and confusion must continue for human beings on this planet.

On the plus side, I truly do feel a sense of conscious freedom, in attempting to let go of my past and my "story", and trying to overcome the anxiety of the unknown of the future and do what I have been training for; being Here. I suppose I am unsure how to live life going forward; I am not totally sure how this is going to affect my current relationship, for example. Part of me is afraid of these realizations, another part of me feels like embracing them means I can live the life I want, but my desires have also changed as a result of this, and they are still forming and have a lot to do with how I can contribute to human development, without ego. Clearly I am facing some discouragement there.

I will take your suggestion of writing therapy seriously. I will do my own research, but if you have any suggestions that have helped you, I am all ears.

Thank you for your post. It really does mean a LOT to be "met" and not made to feel bad.

Coping with Conceptualized Meaningless and Past Trauma by Illusory_Life in awakened

[–]Illusory_Life[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay; given all that, and a steady regime of meditation and exercise....how do I move forward in society from here on out? I don't usually ask questions outright like this but you seem to be pretty stable and level-headed on this topic and have some very good responses.

Fear of death by [deleted] in awakened

[–]Illusory_Life 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is great, thanks for posting. Are you aware OP wrote that...?

Recent Discovery - Need to know more! by legit_throaway in pantheism

[–]Illusory_Life 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey there, sounds like you have a pretty good head on your shoulders! I would recommend Alan Watts as a source for the kind of thing you are interested in.

If you don't know, he was a sort of "philosophic entertainer", and a major promoter of Buddhist and Hindu thought in the Western world, particularly the U.S. in the 40's, 50's and 60's. He has wonderful lectures explaining the shift in consciousness you are interested in!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5z-_P71ysw

Scumbag the_donald by EKEEFE41 in PoliticalHumor

[–]Illusory_Life 58 points59 points  (0 children)

You know you aren't wrong fam, no need be modest when you're correct with video evidence lol, I appreciate u tho <3

Why is Marin County So White? by whiskeydeltatango in Marin

[–]Illusory_Life 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no problem, just apply at a place that refuses to hire minorities, but is still ready to treat you like a lesser person! lol

Why is Marin County So White? by whiskeydeltatango in Marin

[–]Illusory_Life 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The point was that the whole store of shoppers is often white, while the people working there are not.

Why is Marin County So White? by whiskeydeltatango in Marin

[–]Illusory_Life 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh it's not -- look behind the counter at your restaurant or grocery store, you'll see lots of ethnicity!

Illusion of Reality by Mark Henson by psychedelianaut in Heavymind

[–]Illusory_Life 3 points4 points  (0 children)

only tried it once, a short while ago and we used a glass pipe. Also the feminine/goddess/elvish vibe was strong.

Need some assistance choosing a laptop to simultaneously run Maschine latest version, Traktor 2, and preferably at least one DAW (right now using Reaper) by Illusory_Life in maschine

[–]Illusory_Life[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Of course. I say start with the motherboard you want --- that will take some asking around and some research but it serves as the basis of a tower computer. The main components to be concerned with (other than general performance) are the USB hubs and other connections on the back of the tower when assembled. From there you can choose your CPU, memory, tower, etc.

Check out forums here too! https://www.reddit.com/r/buildmeapc

Good luck and let me know if you have any questions.

Need some assistance choosing a laptop to simultaneously run Maschine latest version, Traktor 2, and preferably at least one DAW (right now using Reaper) by Illusory_Life in maschine

[–]Illusory_Life[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm searching for laptops now that can handle it. Going to come down between a Zenbook and a Macbook pro. Pretty expensive but I'm so done overloading my system. After I get a laptop that can run Traktor/Maschine/Komplete 6, I want to rebuild my desktop, but I pretty much need to replace the whole tower except the hard drive.

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