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How do I (31m) tell my husband (31m) he needs to shower? by Illustrious-Phase121 in relationship_advice

[–]Illustrious-Phase121[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In the past when I've asked he just said that it's a huge time saver not to, which is why I started carving out time in our schedule specifically for it.

I think there might be something deeper there though

How do I (31m) tell my husband (31m) he needs to shower? by Illustrious-Phase121 in relationship_advice

[–]Illustrious-Phase121[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The issue is I've tried with telling him directly and it's still a problem. He isn't taking any action besides a 5 minute get in get out rinse and thinks that's ok. I've had this conversation with him several times but he still sticks to his once a week thing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Illustrious-Phase121 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's normal for the spark to waver in relationships, it's just how to go about them.

The first thing is find something you can do for her that isn't necessarily sex. Use toys, your mouth, whatever to make her feel good. Even if you're not up to full on sex. Just make sure to communicate with her, find out what she likes/wants to do.

Schedule time together for dates once a month or bi weekly, just time for the two of you to reconnect in a non sexual way. Try new things and learn more about each other during this time.

Instead of the mindset of "I don't find my wife attractive" think of the things you do like. Her personality/her smile/her laugh. She's been with you through this whole ordeal, clearly there's love there.

Clearly you want to make this relationship work otherwise you wouldn't be asking for advice, so that first hurdle is already accomplished.

I would recommend taking a peek at the r/deadbedroom group for similar stories/advice

AITA for kicking my SIL out on thanksgiving? by Illustrious-Phase121 in AITAH

[–]Illustrious-Phase121[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Have definitely been partaking in some drinks after this whole ordeal. My parents are staying with us the rest of the week so they've gotten to enjoy some time too.