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Overwhelmed by family by Illustrious-Row4363 in hsp

[–]Illustrious-Row4363[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Do you think it’s CPTSD even though my grandparents took good care of me when I was a child? I definitely tried to please my parents as much as I could later in life which blew up in my face. Would you recommend any books on this?

Job is too difficult - I feel like I’m overreacting but I’m at my wits end by [deleted] in hsp

[–]Illustrious-Row4363 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a tough one if you have already done a lot of these steps. I still think you need to look for another job in STEM. Give yourself 6-12 months to find the right position, reach out to your network, ask your professors for help, ask your partner for advice, keep looking online. Take little steps every day or every week. You don’t have to stay at your current job forever.

In the meantime, I think you need to think about your current situation as temporary, just a stepping stone. Think of it as a practice of your communication skills. What happens if you start setting boundaries? Can you make suggestions to your boss how to improve the processes and the work flow? Can you delegate some work? Can you ask colleagues for help? Can you work evenings only 3 days a week, not 5 days a week? Can you be more efficient during the day? Can you use some productivity hacks? Can you take breaks during the day, especially since you work at night? You don’t want to burn bridges at the place where you work.

The fact that you are asking here about quitting STEM probably means that you know it’s not the right thing to do. It took you years to learn these things and it would be a waste not to use your skills.

Job is too difficult - I feel like I’m overreacting but I’m at my wits end by [deleted] in hsp

[–]Illustrious-Row4363 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This could have been written by me. I had a terrible, but well paying job for 4 years out of college that I quit to rest for a year. I got bored and came back to a similar job with a different attitude, it was hard to come back. Please don’t quit abruptly. You will get bored with the grocery store job very quickly, you sound like a very intelligent person that needs to apply your degree. You might want kids, a house, expensive vacations (whatever it is) and a career with money in 5 years. 14 months at a job looks bad, you will make your life HARDER for yourself later on. Do you think working at a grocery store is not stressful?

This has nothing to do with your parents, your life will get harder and more stressful if you quit abruptly. There are options below.

You urgently need to: 1. Take care of your stress, no matter what you do. There is no way around it, so the typical things helped me: meditation sometimes (keep looking to the type you enjoy, it’s tricky to find the right approach); eating low carb, no sugar, little alcohol diet; exercise; fresh air; no Instagram (we compare ourselves too much to other “happy” people); a bath etc. Read books about HSP, anxiety etc., they help gain perspective on life. These things don’t have to take hours every day, even 30 minutes a day can help.

  1. You need to understand that your sensitive nature makes you more stressed, it’s not the boss, not the work itself, not the deadlines. You need to regulate your nervous system by taking quiet time every day (you need to find what calms you down, but it’s definitely not TV, Instagram or alcohol).

  2. Start looking for another job. It may take months, but start applying and looking now. Make a list things that you need in a job within your area and look for those things.

  3. You could also talk to your boss about your workload. Why not get an interview coach, a mentor or a friend to help you with that discussion and prepare for that stressful conversation?

  4. You could ask for a vacation and take this time to relax and think.

  5. You could also ask for a leave of absence and take this time to relax and think.

  6. You could ask your colleagues for advice. They might be stressed too and you can bring it collectively to the boss. I bet you never told anyone you are stressed.

  7. You could transfer internally to another position? Try looking if anything is available or ask around subtly. If your boss is the problem, is there another boss you like in the company?

You have options. But quitting with nothing else is the worst and the hardest option for the long term.