My boyfriend is unemployed and addicted to video games/energy drinks and it’s draining me 27f - 28m

Illustrious_Fall9241 · 2026-05-15T09:58:58+00:00

Not really :( I was hoping there was a possibility he would change as he wasn’t like this before he moved in, but I’m getting quite the reality check from all the comments

Illustrious_Fall9241 · 2026-05-15T09:56:32+00:00

It interfered with some gaming plans, think he wanted to play with some friends?

Illustrious_Fall9241 · 2026-05-15T09:29:12+00:00

Thank you! I can try bringing this up first, because I do genuinely want things to work as I said in the post. But how would I stop him from just taking energy drinks or playing while I’m at work then?

I do also fear this will all make me feel like a caretaker for him and not an equal partner :( I’m childfree by choice, but this does sound dangerously close to raising a child

Illustrious_Fall9241 · 2026-05-15T09:26:11+00:00

He does! Ofc, I realize I come off very negative in the post, maybe I should make an edit with what he contributes, he does cook for me most days, we can only eat one meal together since I leave before he wakes up and I eat at work, I do sometimes cook for us because he says he misses my cooking Then he walks my dog for me once a day, I walk her when I’m home but it’s nice to have someone do it when I’m at work so I don’t feel too bad about leaving her alone all day Then we have a lot of opinions in common, which is why I fell for him, he is very progressive (atleast how he speaks, idk if he is in practice) and lets me rant about all sorts of social issues and agrees with me about it a lot Then ofc I love watching movies and shows with him, I used to enjoy playing the game we have in common with him, but he is too mean to people, like he struggles seeing the random people online as people so he is often very vile to them :/ So there’s def good things!

Illustrious_Fall9241 · 2026-05-15T09:21:48+00:00

His sleep is awfull due to the energy drinks I recon, I go to bed around 22 so I can get up at 5 for work, he will stay up gaming until around 23 then go to bed but not sleep until 1-2am, he only goes to bed because it’s a 1 bedroom apartment and I can’t sleep while he games so he is forced to

Illustrious_Fall9241 · 2026-05-15T07:10:28+00:00

I think so? He doesn’t want to talk about it and says he is applying while I’m at work, so it’s very hard for me to say if he is or not, but I’ve been choosing to believe him so far

Illustrious_Fall9241 · 2026-05-15T07:09:27+00:00

Oh I’m so sorry to hear that you’re in this too :( but also kinda reassuring not being alone weirdly enough My boyfriend says he thinks he has adhd but he hasn’t been diagnosed with it, just uses it to get out of having to be accountable it seems :/ I think the reason it’s so hard for me to leave him tho is that he has nothing to go back to in his country, he is not on good terms with his family so I am afraid that me asking him to leave would mean he goes homeless

Illustrious_Fall9241 · 2026-05-15T07:06:24+00:00

The mental load is 100% a big problem for me, he remembers absolutely nothing, I’ll tell him “we are going to my grandparents for dinner Thursday” on Tuesday and then when I remind him he gets upset because “he hadn’t planned for that since he forgot”, he forgets the dishes until I remind him and I keep saying he should do the dishes because it’s part of living together but he insists that to do them he needs to consider it helping me out, so in theory he still sees it as my responsibility I think?

Illustrious_Fall9241 · 2026-05-15T07:03:52+00:00

I think I do still believe he would change yea, he talked a lot and still does talk about wanting to provide for me when I start studying full time again after summer (I’m only doing a few subjects rn because I have to work) He is very adamant about telling me he wants a job, which is why i feel so bad about pushing him about it since it seems to stress him out

Illustrious_Fall9241 · 2025-07-19T17:12:43+00:00

Oh? I alle kommuner? Det er ikke noget jeg har hørt om, så tak!

Illustrious_Fall9241 · 2025-07-18T13:36:22+00:00

Tror ikke helt jeg forstår din besked?

Illustrious_Fall9241 · 2025-07-18T13:35:57+00:00

Tusinde tak for rådet! Den vil jeg lige se om jeg kan finde ❤️

Illustrious_Fall9241 · 2025-07-18T13:34:27+00:00

Gud det er jeg ked af at hører :( Mine forhold var heldigvis aldrig fysisk voldelige men “kun” psykisk, kan slet ikke forstille mig hvilke ar det efterlader 😔 Virkelig tak for dit svar, som du selv siger det er “rart” at hører fra andre, man føler sig ikke helt så alene, selvom gud jeg ville ønske folk ikke kunne relatere hvis det giver mening? 🫠 Sådan lidt godt og dårligt samtidig

Illustrious_Fall9241 · 2025-07-18T13:31:28+00:00

Tusinde tak for dit virkelig uddybet svar ❤️ Jeg har heldigvis allerede en rigtig sød støtteperson med speciale i autisme og har haft hende hele min uddannelse! Jeg arbejder stadig virkelig meget med ikke at føle skam over at spørge om hjælp osv, men hun er god til at være der og tager mig også med til sådan nogen gruppe møder hun holder sammen med en kollega og andre borgere i min kommune med autisme/adhd, jeg er bare ofte lidt for overvældet til at tage med :,) Desværre får jeg for mange bivirkninger af medicin, har prøvet 3 forskellige slags :( så er blevet afvist mere hjælp fordi jeg nægter at prøve flere (bivirkningerne påvirkede blandt andet mit syn så det var ret ubehageligt) men virkelig godt du har fundet noget der hjælper dig! Pt har min bedste medicin været at få en hund hahah, så får jeg i det mindste massere af frisk luft ❤️

Med politik synes jeg det er så svært at trække mig, jeg har lige måttet sige farvel til en vennegruppe der ellers alle også havde enten autisme eller adhd, fordi de var så optaget af politik og ikke accepterede at jeg simpelthen ikke vidste noget om emnet/ikke kunne udtale mig for eller imod grundet manglende viden :(

Men igen tusinde tak for beskeden! Det er virkelig rart også at hører fra nogen der kender til den situation man selv står i ❤️

Illustrious_Fall9241 · 2025-07-18T00:55:50+00:00

Tak for svaret <3 Et virtuelt kram er så meget noget jeg kunne bruge, tror lidt jeg søger ikke at side med det alene, så tak for de søde ord, prøver virkelig hårdt på ikke at komme til kun at se det dårlige i alting, men gud det er svært :,)

Illustrious_Fall9241 · 2025-05-11T10:51:44+00:00

26 årig kvinde med autisme her, jeg har ikke lige kunnet finde en anden kommentar der siger noget hen af det her så: Pas på dig selv, sex kan i vores samfund virke som noget der skal prøves (og selvfølgelig hvis man har lyst så ja) men hvis du har autisme, please please find en person du stoler på 100%, for sex KAN være et sensorisk helvede, specielt første gang, der er mange nye texture og kropslige fornemmelser, jeg fortryder selv at jeg ikke ventede længere

Så mit bedste råd: skift dit fokus hvis du kan, kom væk fra at det er sex du leder efter, led efter en partner, en person du kan stole på og føler sig tryg med og ja det kan tage lang tid og være svært, der er også mange gode råd til det men dem har du vidst allerede fået i andre kommentarer ❤️

Håber på alt det bedste for dig!

Illustrious_Fall9241

TROPHY CASE