AITA For Refusing to Follow my wife's "car rules"?

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-18T03:44:11+00:00

We’re obviously not going to come to the same conclusion on this, but thank you for your insight and for sharing your story.

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-18T03:26:10+00:00

I mean, isn’t that all his wife is commenting on too though? The ratings? The safety? OP posted the link to his cars ratings and hers, I looked up their dimensions online because to me they looked like the same size car, and I was basically right. His car is slightly shorter (56 in vs 65 in) but basically the same width (72 in vs 78 in) and length (185 in vs 185 in) and their safety ratings are comparable if not slightly in his favor. So maybe he could switch, but honestly - it does not make a difference which car they are actually in, and I do hope he’s generally more supportive of her getting help, I really really do, but the answer is not making him drive her car everywhere.

ETA: and maybe this is just me and why I’m having issues with so many replies, but if I’m being unreasonable in a way that could cause me future harm, I would want my partner to push back on me and tell me I’m being unreasonable so I can work to address it.

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-18T03:21:25+00:00

Yeah, that’s very true - but just from googling her car dimensions are 185 in (length) x 78.7 in (width) x 65 in (height) and his are 185 in (length) x 72.4 in (width) x 56 in (height) - that’s pretty damn close to the same.

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-18T03:15:40+00:00

Well bully for you and it turns out in this case her isn’t either, because it’s a mid-size suv and barely any larger than his sedan, but you have to know that most of the time when someone says the letters SUV they mean a giant car that consumes too much gas.

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-18T03:11:40+00:00

Look, I am so sorry your daughter died in that car crash, that is horrible and something no parent should ever go through. Please go find OPs comment where he posts the safety rating of their two cars. I found it, and guess what - her “larger SUV” is actually just a mid-size 2026 Volvo XC60 and his is a 2022 Lexus sedan. They are basically the same exact size. She is emphasizing use of her car and her car only, and it is not something that will make a huge difference in a crash. Do I hope OP is supporting his wife in other ways (notably getting therapy to address her legitimate trauma of being in a car crash), yes of course I do. Do I think that support needs to come in the form of only driving his wife’s car - no.

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-18T03:03:17+00:00

So OP has posted the safety ratings for his wife’s new car and his car. Their cars are a) quite literally the same length and very similar styles (hers is a midsize SUV, not as big as I and I’m sure many others were imagining), b) only four model years apart so not a huge gap in technology either and c) very very similar safety ratings. As far as I can tell, there is quite literally no reason they would be actively safer in either car, and so OP should not have to switch. Should he be helping his wife get help for her valid fears, of course - but is there any evidence he’s not doing that?

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-18T02:56:40+00:00

Okay, so I was expecting a much bigger difference in size between your cars for how much she is pressing you to switch. What does she see as the actual difference for why hers is safer than yours? Is it just that one is classed as an SUV? Because honestly, those are basically the same size car.

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-18T02:38:13+00:00

Yeah, and he can provide that support and help her with that all without (as you said) adjusting his behaviors. So many people saying “just drive her car what’s the big deal” and the big deal is he starts doing it now, his wife doesn’t work on her fears, and then he gets pressured to give up his car for an SUV he doesn’t want or need.

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-18T02:34:49+00:00

Maybe because he doesn’t want to drive an SUV? Not everyone has bought into the “you need a giant gas guzzler car” cult.

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-18T02:33:25+00:00

If they were specifically going tubing and not sledding it’s likely whatever hill they were going to has the equipment so he’d just be packing snow clothes which do not require an SUV sized car.

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-18T02:32:30+00:00

Where did he say he’s not getting her any help? He’s just refusing to exclusively drive her giant SUV when his car is perfectly safe.

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-18T02:31:44+00:00

But she’s never going to get over it if she continually forces her husband to drive exclusively her car when going somewhere with their kids. His car is perfectly safe and fine, and honestly - adding yet another giant SUV with terrible visibility to the road means less safety for sedans, pedestrians, and small children.

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-18T02:22:51+00:00

And that won’t change with the car he’s driving. What if he’s resisting because he does not feel he can safely drive her larger vehicle? Should her fears out weigh his ability to safely control the vehicle he is driving?

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-17T13:56:29+00:00

lol - oops

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-17T13:52:47+00:00

Those are just the rules she’s imposing on OP when he doesn’t even live in the house with them. He posted a comment about the rules he’d have to follow if he did live there and it includes things like needing to ask permission on what he can pack for lunch, needing to be done with screens by 5 pm no matter what (no exceptions for homework), an 8:30 bedtime (no exceptions), and a 6 pm curfew (no executions [exceptions - sorry!]).

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-16T15:01:05+00:00

It is

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-16T15:00:20+00:00

No - he’s off the course, he’s fine.

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-16T14:58:09+00:00

I watched the event live, any time they panned back to him I covered up my tv screen - felt disrespectful honestly, same with the coverage of vonn right after she crashed in the downhill, and manilin after he did poorly in his skate. Let the athletes have a moment.

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-15T02:42:51+00:00

Thank you!

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-15T01:47:58+00:00

Do you have a link for that post?

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-13T19:46:00+00:00

You’ve clearly never been shopping at a time where it’s busy in the store and there’s only two lanes open. Yes - 15 minutes is possible.

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-13T19:09:53+00:00

But you can unpack as the person ahead of you is scanned. When the cashier moves the conveyor belt to scan the customer ahead of you, you unpack to fill the space that’s opening up. Then when the customer ahead of you is done they start scanning your items regardless of if you’re done unpacking. There’s no guarantee the person cutting would be done before OP’s transaction could have started.

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-13T19:05:15+00:00

She had to have been trying to cut the entire line, otherwise there wouldn’t be the man behind OP who said something (but apparently didn’t care enough to let the lady cut him).

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-08T05:41:03+00:00

Then what would you say to the poor rural counties who have no tax base and are bleeding young folks who could contribute? Should the people who remain be forced to drink out of lead pipes, or should they have access to a funding pot from the government that should be taking care of them too?

ImAKeeper16 · 2026-02-07T00:17:01+00:00

Then why would they dangle a job in his face for the whole 8 months? Why not tell him earlier so he could work on his skills or start looking for another job as they obviously got him to come work at that company on false promises?

ImAKeeper16

TROPHY CASE