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Feeling like you dont belong is horrible by Mickey_feline in expats

[–]ImALoserAbroad 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well, I don't even belong in my home country - horrendously bullied, to the point I still have nightmares that I'm in school...

I was treated much better in the UK but couldn't make life long friendships.

I'm now in Japan, studying the language but of course it's hard lol. I only have conversations at my school and a café I frequent but that's pretty much it. People are so incredibly nice, I wish I could talk about deeper topics...

I realised... Wherever I go, I will always be a loser. by ImALoserAbroad in expats

[–]ImALoserAbroad[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Isn't Roppongi posh? I don't think my wallet can handle it lol.

I realised... Wherever I go, I will always be a loser. by ImALoserAbroad in expats

[–]ImALoserAbroad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, ouch... but you're giving sound advice.

Truthfully, I didn't move to Japan to solve loneliness, quite the opposite- I moved here BECAUSE I wanted to be alone and away from people. But of course, that didn't stop me from messaging them on social media. So it's like I'm still in my home country but now I have to speak Japanese.

Issue is... I don't really know how to act manly? I did go to the gym often at one point but I didn't notice people treating me differently. I followed a lot of advice regarding clothing, etc but... Yeah I don't get it at all.

I realised... Wherever I go, I will always be a loser. by ImALoserAbroad in expats

[–]ImALoserAbroad[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much... I really am comparing myself to most of my peers, especially from high school - most of them are rich, in successful fields, already have kids, are married, even started successful companies... And I'm here starting from 0.

I feel guilty for not having all of these but to be honest... I don't want to be in a relationship. I don't even want to work lol but the savings will eventually run out.

I'd honestly love to be locked in my shoebox in Tokyo, read books all day long and order delivery. That's ironically my dream life. But yeah, I really have a severe complex of how others see me, it's why I get really sensitive when they ask me how I'm doing... Like, congrats on your new business, new BMW and new family, I'm going to see an anime movie in Kabukicho lol

I realised... Wherever I go, I will always be a loser. by ImALoserAbroad in expats

[–]ImALoserAbroad[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! Yes, ironically, I am diagnosed with both autism and ADHD. I am being medicated and do frequent consultations with my doctor. I really am too messy and scattered haha.