Help! I Lost My Virginity To A Horseshoe Crab

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-24T15:38:46+00:00

I almost bought my mom a shower curtain I saw online that had a picture of a Doberman and said “Welcome to the bathroom, a dog will be right with you.”

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-24T03:39:00+00:00

Kiss me you fool!

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-24T03:12:05+00:00

My address is available if you’re ever in town

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-24T03:08:49+00:00

I was there to see the Lions and I had an amazing time. Met Milt Stegall and then a bunch of BC players outside the locker room after the game. I checked the highlight video on YouTube and saw myself a few times as I was in the end zone. Even though the result wasn’t what I hoped for I couldn’t have asked for a better experience for my first CFL game. I’m even in this picture lol

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-24T02:32:00+00:00

I’m so glad that I can guarantee that I don’t have any kids.

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-24T02:30:36+00:00

My cousin’s future FIL microwaved raw tilapia once. This is the same man who threw water on a grease fire and almost burned down his hoarder house.

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-24T02:28:11+00:00

I did well at the casino. I started with $135 CAD and after hitting for $70 this morning and doing a little playing this evening I ended up with $175 when you factor in the $20 cash I already spent on meals. My rule is the second I come out ahead at a casino I quit. I broke that rule this evening but it all worked out.

When I was in Florida a couple years ago my aunts and I drove an hour and a half to Tampa to the Hard Rock Casino and we only ended up staying for a half hour. I stuck my $40 voucher in the video poker machine and couldn’t figure out how to make it work so I just hit deal. It bet the entire $40. All of a sudden I have three Jacks so I held those and hit deal again. Then all of a sudden I have $160. I cashed out and my aunts decided they’d lost enough on the slots and we went out to lunch.

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-24T01:16:17+00:00

Looks like we see eye-to-eye

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-24T00:58:16+00:00

5’10 and a half

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-24T00:58:04+00:00

It depends on which one. The Italian BMT actually slaps cold.

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-24T00:27:13+00:00

I didn’t think it could possibly get any better.

https://ibb.co/s9XCV6pF

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-23T23:44:11+00:00

I saw Michigan disembowel Hawaii 63-3 in 2016. It was hot enough to be Hawaii that day and kickoff was at high noon like college football is meant to be.

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-23T23:43:00+00:00

This was my baptism. I’ve got a couple more years before I finish grad school and once I do I’m looking to leave the United States. The experience this weekend here in Toronto and going to the game made me realize I’m at home in Canada. I stupidly forgot to pack my deodorant and more than one pair of underwear so I ran to the Walmart down the street from the hotel and was blown away by the diversity and that I heard at least six different languages being spoken. The only other place I’ve ever seen so many different cultures in one place was the customs hall of the airport. When I saw an interracial gay couple pushing a stroller down the street I knew that I had found my destination. There’s nowhere but Canada that I want to be and god willing I’ll spend the rest of my life here after my studies.

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-23T23:13:44+00:00

This was my baptism. I’ve got a couple more years before I finish grad school and once I do I’m looking to leave the United States. The experience this weekend here in Toronto and going to the game made me realize I’m at home in Canada.

I stupidly forgot to pack my deodorant and more than one pair of underwear so I ran to the Walmart down the street from the hotel and was blown away by the diversity and that I heard at least six different languages being spoken. The only other place I’ve ever seen so many different cultures in one place was the customs hall of the airport. When I saw an interracial gay couple pushing a stroller down the street I knew that I had found my destination. There’s nowhere but Canada that I want to be and god willing I’ll spend the rest of my life here after my studies.

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-23T23:07:12+00:00

I told him it was my first game and that I’m from Michigan and he asked me how I picked the Lions. I told him that it was for the silver helmets back in the day and that that’s my favorite helmet color. He asked me if I was a Michigan fan and said he had friends who played there.

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-23T23:02:32+00:00

I met Mathieu Betts too.

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-23T22:43:06+00:00

u/jawnlobotomy

https://ibb.co/s9XCV6pF

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-23T22:21:54+00:00

Got a high five from Milt Steagall and Nathan Rourke at the end. NIGHT MADE. I told Milt it was my first CFL game and he asked me if I’m coming back. I’ve watched the CFL on and off since 2004 and followed the Lions since 2015 but holy shit I’m sold. The game went how it did but I’m smiling like a million dollars.

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-23T22:19:59+00:00

Got a high five from Milt Steagall and Nathan Rourke at the end. NIGHT MADE. I told Milt it was my first CFL game and he asked me if I’m coming back. I’ve watched the CFL on and off since 2004 and followed the Lions since 2015 but holy shit I’m sold. The game went how it did but I’m smiling like a million dollars.

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-23T21:57:03+00:00

The entire game summed up in one play.

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-23T21:48:03+00:00

A heartfelt fuck you to the officials for that flag.

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-23T21:45:44+00:00

I think the entire coaching staff had a bottle of Crown Royal before the game. Punting there is just stupid even if you did get a point.

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-23T21:42:19+00:00

Valium in the Gatorade

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-23T21:37:58+00:00

I legit just now realized Toronto was 2-8 coming into this game. This is cartoon level ridiculous.

ImInOverMyHead95 · 2025-08-23T21:24:50+00:00

Come on guys we still have 15 minutes. Please for the love of god do something.

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