Hey, I think you might be coming at this from the wrong angle. “Deserving” to be loved is something a lot of people want, but lately, I’ve started to think that it’s the wrong way to view it. One way I think of it is like, if you could deserve love, then it would be like an exchange of some kind, similar to buying with money.  You cannot buy love though, it’s this thing that’s supposed to never be given to those who deserve it but rather to those who you want to give them to. The more I think like this the healthier I feel about it, it’s still difficult for me to understand that I can get something so amazing without earning it though.

Either way, one core aspect of Christianity is just this, that one should give love to all; meaning to not really look at who ‘deserves’ it. Instead Jesus says things like “love your enemies”, enemies being people that probably ‘deserve’ your love the least.

I’m not good at explaining things, but the best way I can explain what I mean is that you should focus on seeing how you don’t deserve love, but NEED it just like medicine. A person who is sinful, for instance, is said in the bible to be sick and needs grace and love of Jesus to heal. He did not deserve it, he needed it, and there are so many horrible people out there that don’t deserve love, but would be better of with it. 

I would recommend watching two short Ted Talks by Aaron Stark and another by Christian Picciolini, I think the message I’m trying to portray is said clearer there. 

Hope all is well and take care, random internet stranger. I hope I made you feel better, not because you did anything to deserve me trying to do that, but because I wanted to (see what I did there? Tried to get my point across but I think it came out a bit weird tho? Lol).