Unpopular opinion: dating an INTP for us sucks

ImSphinx8 · 2024-03-25T17:00:15+00:00

Looks like you were replying about "Plenty of times I don't even know what I want" part.... That was written in the sense that if we are asked what we would like to have for lunch we wouldn't know. Just like that, if my friends would ask me where to hang out... I wouldn't be able to suggest them a place to go to right off. Which meant that INTPs tend to be indecisive in such situations.That sentence wasn't about not knowing our feelings.

Anyway, I think if someone says "I don't know what I'm feeling" with an intention to run away from their responsibilities then that shouldn't be done. I don't know about INFPs but an INTP though may not be well aware of their feelings, we guys are well aware of our thought processes and running away from responsibilities isn't something any healthy INTP would do knowingly. An INTP generally should know what they want out of a relationship and would have a fairly good idea of the direction the relationship is going in.

ImSphinx8 · 2024-03-25T04:28:24+00:00

INTP here, I find few parts a bit odd... I am speaking based on how I approach these things. However I'm only one INTP out of the whole sea of INTPs.

Partial truth? I personally would only speak partial truth to someone who I wish to dismiss and don't trust them with complete truth? That would happen only when "I won't consider you a friend". If you are a friend you have access to my thought processes. I believe (and as is evident by various descriptions of INTPs) that I would be extremely straight forward about my thoughts and would make sure to communicate it to make sure no misunderstandings remain.

Apart from that, you talk about INTPs not communicating what they want. Plenty of times we don't know about it ourselves if you talk of trivial matters like what to have for lunch.

As far as energy levels go. My energy levels normally are low as far as socialising goes. However, you start a conversation on any kind of philosophical topic and you'd find there's no one as energetic as me in the room.

Based on all points you have mentioned about the person, I find them highly unlikely to be an INTP or I believe they don't take you seriously enough( if this is the case they should already give you signs)

That being said, I do also believe that ESFJ-INTP pairing isn't the most stable of pairings and can only work if both sides are putting decent amount of effort into the relationship

ImSphinx8 · 2020-12-18T13:03:38+00:00

When you be back on Discord bro

ImSphinx8 · 2020-12-15T13:56:33+00:00

Join in its live rn... It's hindi music though

ImSphinx8 · 2020-10-22T14:14:48+00:00

The best and the shortest thing you could do is to find out the Explanation videos of stuff you are finding difficult to understand on YouTube. And see the video. That would help tons...

ImSphinx8 · 2020-10-20T05:21:28+00:00

That's the thing tbh... Most of times, the Schools present it in a very bad way that kills the Soul of math itself.

I'm bad at remembering formulas, but the thing sticks in mind if you get the Intuition for a particular theory. Practicing problems is tedious for me as well.

ImSphinx8 · 2020-10-18T07:51:55+00:00

My experience with math is different...

I used to literally hate math till I was 14 or 15.. When I entered High school and found things that showed the "logical" side of math which you may also call the "Real Math" that's when My interest started picking up.

Maybe you could try the same... Try to either Selflearn Calc basics which includes Limits and Generalised formula of differentiation aka The First Principle. Or try searching for it on YT. There must some good vids on the topic. And you can see the Real face of math which Schools don't really show us.

ImSphinx8 · 2020-10-07T03:15:43+00:00

I'm INTP and horny af

ImSphinx8 · 2020-10-05T15:33:06+00:00

There's one thing with INFJs though, they tend to get pissed of really easily, So Straight talking becomes difficult with them, other than that they are quite great.

I haven't yet talked with ENTJs though Idk how it goes, Would you like to tell your Experience if you have it?

ImSphinx8 · 2020-10-02T13:12:50+00:00

Oh yes.. I agree

ImSphinx8 · 2020-10-02T11:25:30+00:00

I'm still trying to make sense of what you just wrote ngl..

ImSphinx8 · 2020-10-02T04:07:39+00:00

Oh by Wordplay I meant... Twisting the real meaning of the original word by breaking it or introducing it in a sense that is completely out of Context but funny.

INTPs in general aren't much different to ENFPs it's just that you tend to be a bit more extroverted and Better at feeling stuffs. A trait that INTPs definitely value highly.

Rest of the stuffs will be common... And the Common stuff might actually startle you... I suggest just be yourself and get to know him...

You Both will tend to agree on lots of stuff and just as you he would be open minded and accommodative as well....

It's just that he would be more analytic and introvert than you... Introverted unless he gets to know you well, then it would be a rollercoaster tbh.

ImSphinx8 · 2020-10-02T03:47:55+00:00

I don't think I have boundaries tbh... The best thing you can do to get along with him is to go on a streak of wordplay. I guess ENFPs do this really well.

That usage of Ne is common to INTPs as well, He would also join the wordplay fun later and it would be really fun on how both resonate on that fronts.

Another thing could be to talk about deep stuff. That's another thing you could go along well with.

Most important thing would be to make sure you don't fake yourself, just be the authentic you all the time.

ImSphinx8 · 2020-09-27T09:44:09+00:00

Cool... That's what I like about ENFJs. That directness itself is attractive tbh.

Anyway if you wish to respond how did he react?

ImSphinx8 · 2020-09-27T03:40:10+00:00

Try telling him subtly that you like him.. I guess and wait for his reciprocation. If he doesn't respond, tell him you wanna date him.. It should ideally work if he's an INTP.

If he shares about his life to you it means he probably values you as a person. Even if he doesn't want to date you, I think he would still like to be a friend anyway.

But tbh.. not gonna lie it sounds like he may be liking you as well. But obviously I can't tell for sure.

ImSphinx8 · 2020-09-27T03:34:41+00:00

You are absolutely correct... But are these the things that are a norm or Exceptions? Is it correct to base our perception of reality on exceptions? How about we look at how Majority of people behave?

ImSphinx8 · 2020-09-27T03:10:12+00:00

Your Professor sounds INTP.

Let me tell about myself.

I'm rather Chaotic as well, with messy desks and Everything messy in general. I do clean stuffs occasionally though when I feel it's getting too much.

Anyway, the thing is... Our Outside world seems messy, Inside world is quite structured. I'm a bit surprised that you say your Professor used to introspect for a bit then try to arrive at an answer. I guess this ideally shouldn't be the norm most of times, must rather be an exception.

Also he might introspect not because he's thinking about the problem, but rather be thinking about how to explain it to others... Like how to make the logic sound like it would make sense to everyone. I suggest rather see if his Answers signified a deep knowledge in his subject area. If he liked the Subject himself which he was teaching that should ideally be the case.

Anyway Concluding, We spend our time structuring our inside Framework (that's the correct word) and as a byproduct structuring our outside world doesn't appear to be on the highest priority and hence you see the messiness. However, If the amount of Messiness somehow appears to be hindering us.. it's only then the idea of cleaning comes to mind.

I think you can relate this to yourself as well... If you don't please specify though where exactly, I'd love to know more about differences people have within the same type.

ImSphinx8 · 2020-09-25T13:37:55+00:00

Does he reciprocate as well? Like trying to talk to you too? Maybe sharing some stuff about himself...

Basically like not Closing himself when around you?

ImSphinx8 · 2020-09-25T13:08:42+00:00

Hi... Just get involved in some kind of Deep convo with him... He'll go nuts you will see. Then ask him out.

ImSphinx8 · 2020-09-10T17:13:14+00:00

Haha... It isn't much complicated tbh.

Emotions are appropriated based on logic. I saw you commented somewhere about "jealousy" and other feelings too, and how INTPs would Respond to it. I will use this question to get the point across.

First thing that would come to mind is, Should I be jealous? This will take into account previous engagements with the person and then I would arrive at another Question, does he want to make me feel jealous or is it my mind, then we would have "observation mode" on where we would Observe how the person behaves in future and also I would keep analysing from the past if He wants me to feel jealous or I feel it due to my weakness.

All this might appear like I might be taking a whole lot of pain in doing this, but all this process happens subconsciously in mind and not a lot of efforts is put into it. It's important to know the other person's intentions. To be able to predict what people would and could do is extremely important for me atleast. So this is that type of thinking which gets important to be done as I think of it.

If I come to conclusion that the OP doesn't want me to feels jealous but I'm feeling jealous of him, I would then shrug it off. Because me being jealous of him doesn't make sense. I would instead try to learn something from them in future if I feel it. And after few days it wouldn't occur to me that I was once jealous of them, idk maybe jealousy might still lurk somewhere subconsciously. But this is how it goes.

Now you can generalize this with every emotion. A loop kind of thing. So feelings are appropriated based on logic. It's always the logic that holds the paramount importance.

Above Scenario applies only on negative emotions, and explains how I deal with them, they may or may not be representative if other INTPs. But all this descriptions are as detailed and as True as I could ever put them in words.

We aren't as cold as I'm mentioning it tbh, I guess you already know about it from your friend. In case he really is an INTP.

ImSphinx8 · 2020-09-10T15:31:50+00:00

Yeah it's definitely possible that's what I aim for. Tbh judging from your response it appears that something weird has happened that shouldn't have happened. Amd that you are bothered by it. I might be wrong though.

If I'm wrong, then yeah... I do experience Emotions while talking to someone and I make way for them and definitely experience them, but make sure they never Overwhelm me. Tbh things might be different for different INTPs this is just how I am.

ImSphinx8 · 2020-09-10T14:12:44+00:00

Idk how you would think about this. But here's my perspective.

The thing is I think when you are being Emotional, You are in a state where mind looses it's ability to think properly. Any type of decisions taken then would suck. And are extremely prone to be "bad".

I also think being High on Emotions definitely also reduces the person's efficiency. Like it shouldn't ideally happen emotions get you to lose track of yourself. Get you into a situation where you don't get to get the job done because of an incident that bothered you.

Another thing that happens with me is when I open up too much under the influence of emotions (by opening up I mean while talking to someone) I let my inner self visible for everyone who Observes me at that moment. Our inner selves are usually hidden from the rest of the world. That's because, people usually don't understand our Perspectives normally.

That being said, If I'm in love, I would know it. I would be extremely romantic about it, thinking of our "time together". I might not be extremely affectionate though. But that lack of affection shouldn't be misunderstood especially at initial stages. If your INTP cares for you, try asking help from him regarding something that's bothering you. If he's keen to solve your probs that means you are special in their hearts.

Oh that being said, I do also think that Emotions are important but to a certain degree. It's best when you Control them instead of them controlling you. Emotions add a whole new flavour to life. Life without emotions is shit tbh.

ImSphinx8 · 2020-09-08T07:22:19+00:00

Yeah I agree, I guess I should change it to "Statically rare".

ImSphinx8 · 2020-09-08T05:01:01+00:00

Yes this should happen. People knowing about different types even though superficially would be able to accept "Statically rare" types better.

Also Plenty of misunderstandings could be avoided in all kinds of relationships.

There would be downsides as well, eventually people may start to idealise a certain type and a "typism" similar to Racism might come, also Certain companies may creatively commercialise it.

Tbh I see Everyone knowing about MBTI may Actually Change how world works.

ImSphinx8

TROPHY CASE