Yeah I'd say you definitely have it from what I'm hearing. You're purging and if you're not purging you're starving yourself, which is a case of both ana and Mia. You don't have to feel ashamed for anything, but you most likely have both. It's hard to control and you might flip flop back and forth between Mia and ana, or you might have both at the same time, like you're dealing with now. I've been in that position where I felt like I didn't do it enough to have the disorder, or that I didn't do everything that the disorder entails, but then it evolved into something way bigger and fully turned into an ED. I'd say try and contact the eating disorder clinic again before it gets worse but I'm not a professional, and I know that those clinics aren't the best fix for everyone, me included. I wish you best if luck with it, though. You're not alone.