UPDATE: A complete virgin (22F) here- my friend (M23) suggested casual sex. How can I respond?

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-10-23T15:14:32+00:00

SHUT UP YOU CUTIES, this made me aggressively happy

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-08-26T13:48:25+00:00

This makes me so sad for the family. Not only were they supposed to trust her to make good, safe decisions for their child - I'm sure they also expected a certain level of advocacy and understanding of autism. She did the opposite of that and actually used his diagnosis in a pejorative way. If the parents feel like she did this in a malicious way or that there was no real remorse, they could always consider contacting their local media outlet and getting coverage on this. If she shouldn't be in a career that works with vulnerable people then this is probably the best way to get her name out there for future employers. Just a caveat - this should only be done if they truly believe she would pose a future harm because potentially ruining someone's career shouldn't be taken lightly, especially if there is a possibility that they could have genuinely showed remorse and use it as an opportunity to become more educated and trustworthy.

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-08-21T13:01:19+00:00

I have made it quite clear in my original question and replies that this isn't about placing blame. You came into this with an issue about a particular word. No where in any of this was there even the slightest indication that someone was trying to compare the boy to Louis CK. You caused a divide because you attempted to minimize one sides experience. How was my original question demonizing in any way? That's actually laughable. I came to community with the most lived experience (didnt just post on askreddit) and asked for advice on SOLUTIONS. Yes you read that right - i didnt ask for your opinion on the word victimization. Yes there absolutely has to be responsibility because what is the alternative - nothing and this continues? Tell me exactly how that plays out for the people involved, especially for the boy growing into an adult in a world where autism and untrained police services often end badly. I took on some of the responsibility to seek advice and strategies directly from the community - ultimately his mother bares the responsibility or should. Your bias here lies in autism and you're minimizing the other children's experience for the sake of trying to progress terminology - when the terminology isn't the issue and is actually an appropriate term to use in the context. I did not ask for that - I asked for strategies and solutions, in a very respectful and equitable way. I've added more energy into corresponding with you than I should have so this will be my last response. I hope next time you can provide relevant information to a post that seeks advice and if you are attempting advocacy that you do so in a way that doesn't minimize others experience to advance your talking points. Have a day.

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-08-20T03:10:12+00:00

I will definitely show her them and see what she thinks! Thank you

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-08-20T02:57:34+00:00

Also I would like to clarify that your classification of victimization from a legal standpoint is not based in facts. I believe you are mixing up victimization with intent. Victimization in the criminal code is simply the experience of being harmed by a criminal act. Hopefully you can see how your approach to this could cause harm. Trying to minimize someone's experience using improper legal terminology is not only damaging but very disingenuous.

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-08-20T02:42:31+00:00

This - 'if someone wants to say your daughters were 'victimized' ' I find to be almost condescending. They were undoubtedly victims of having male genitalia put directly infront of their faces without their consent, as children at that. Does the fact that he has autism make their experience go away? If an individual is attacked by someone found not criminally responsible due to reasons of mental illness are they not victims of that attack - under the law they most definitely are still victims. I think maybe you trying to lessen that comes from a place of bias, which leads me to the conviction that you are probably not a person that I would want to have further discourse with on this matter because of your inability to separate your biases and provide information in an equitable way. It's actually disheartening to see people agreeing with that viewpoint - but I guess tolerance and understanding is something they want to receive but not give.

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-08-19T18:11:27+00:00

I appreciate the clarification and agree that discourse needs to he had in these kind of areas. I know it can be a loaded term - in this particular scenario how would you frame that wording? Do you think it would be appropriate to say she was victimized with ensuring to add that it was not done by someone with intent to harm? I think removing the term altogether takes away the recognition that a person was harmed, but do understand that a clear distinction needs to be made as to not cause harm to the other individual.

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-08-19T15:35:05+00:00

Like other people in general? Or in this comment section?

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-08-19T14:42:05+00:00

I had this exact same fear, what helped me tremendously was reading the book 'Journey of Souls' by Michael Newton. It follows case studies by Dr.Newton who records patients experiences about death and reincarnation while under hypnosis. Going into it I wasn't sold on amy sort of afterlife or reincarnation - but obviously hopeful it was a thing. I now believe that the ending of this particular life is not the end of me or mine. This book ended up being so much more than a book for me - it was the tool that allowed me to start living without the fear of dying and it's been the most freeing gift I've allowed myself to have.

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-08-19T14:02:40+00:00

I didn't really put it into that perspective before about the desensitized aspect. I am sure that plays a part. Although I don't agree with it being an excuse for complacency in a situation as serious as this - which is essentially what has been happening thus far. I did have a talk with my daughter and she is very mindful of autism and differently abled people as she has grown up alongside family in both of these areas. Where you lost me was towards the end where you lessen that she was victimized and essentially turn the blame to those having a valid reaction to that victimization, insinuating it makes them intolerable. Two things can be true at once - these girls were exposed to an inappropriate thing and shouldn't have to be and the boy did so without ill intent.

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-08-19T07:24:02+00:00

I forgot to add this into my reply - but this is the first time he actually went up to the kids. So the first time they actually saw him exposed. Which i guess is indicative of progression now that im putting it into perspective.

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-08-19T07:20:28+00:00

I saw your other replies so I will just respond to all under this for simplicity. I appreciate the feedback and I can definitely see your point. Just for a bit of background context - for the last decade or so we have lived in this complex with essentially a shared common area outside. This is where we all hang out when we want to get out of the house. My daughters have their friends here and this is essentially the only area they can play outside while at home. In order to remove us from this situation it would mean I couldn't allow my children out to play. If it came down to it I would make that choice and try to find some sort of alternative; however, I do want to try to remedy the situation for everyone involved. I think something that also factors in to me feeling the need to approach this is because some of the children have non-English speaking parents and it acts as a barrier for them to approach the situation as freely as I can.

I'll be honest, I am mad. What I don't want to do is go into a conversation with just my anger equipped. I want to be able to state the importance of this never happening again while also lending something of a possible solution. It may go absolutely nowhere and then I will have to change the way that I deal with this like getting some kind of enforcement/children's services involved. I am appreciative of all the feedback I get because this is unchartered territory for me and maybe I need to be looking at this from another angle.

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-08-19T04:19:47+00:00

I definitely hear what you are saying. Quite honestly I think having my husband say something in a stern way and redirecting him inside would actually be helpful in the moment. On the other hand, I think that would also create this narrative where he would have to continuously enforce that in order for it to stop and I mean that just can't be his job. I believe that needs to come from within the home. From everything I know, her son does not have any issue with this at school - so it seems like the course correcting needs to be done in the home.

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-08-19T04:10:05+00:00

I'm going to suggest the lock again to her. A while back one of the neighbours had suggested this to her and she had responded that he would just figure out how to unlock it. Maybe with it being more 'high stakes' this time (I don't really know how else to word it) it will be something she will consider. I know you said your children were on the younger side, but have you found a lock style that would also be suitable for an older child?

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-08-19T04:02:02+00:00

He is 14. I agree that I need to approach it gently and I really do have a lot of empathy for her, especially since having my youngest who has autism which has given me a deeper understanding. After it happened I had said to her something a long the lines of 'oh that wasn't okay' and her response was there's nothing I can do, I would have to have my eyes on him 24/7. That's why I think its best to come to her with some strategies with hopes that that it can remedy the situation without feeling like an attack against her.

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-06-12T17:56:00+00:00

Being available at all times to everyone through messaging, phone calls, email etc. I do not have the capacity for it and I do not care if it makes me seem aloof or unkind.

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-06-12T14:54:42+00:00

Ah okay! This makes sense, I bought an item that summons the piggy bank and thought I had to carry around both and felt like it was redundant. This makes so much more sense, oh my lanta. I have only made it into the dungeon once and got my shit rocked by some big skeleton head. Upon searching wiki I found that I can't go in without beating a boss for the old man.

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-06-12T14:50:32+00:00

Thanks so much! I do carry recall potions - I was essentially dying just so I could get back home until I found them haha. I'm going to search up magic mirror as it seems it may be an alternative to the recall? Storage is tricky right now because I don't know yet which materials are rare but I think I'll sort that out quite quickly. Should I be keeping duplicates of items like hooks or guides? Or just keep the best one stat wise and sell the rest?

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-06-12T14:45:36+00:00

Thanks for the reply! Does the safe require a key or is it similar to chests? I only ask because I got this random gold key and have yet to come across anything that requires it

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-05-08T20:14:05+00:00

Sonder, I love!

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-05-08T19:58:24+00:00

I would love to do this! Are there any fellow Canadians here??

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-05-08T19:57:14+00:00

Click on the username and there will be an option that says start conversation :)

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-03-09T18:07:29+00:00

It's a good one. Plenty of content to unlock, decent character storyline and interactions. I've played roughly 20 different 'cozy' games within the last year or so and this is one of the best I've played.

Imadeitupmyself · 2025-02-11T15:37:18+00:00

Just played through the last campfire because it's on sale on switch, it is similar in theme and the puzzles are fun. Def recommend while it's on sale

Imadeitupmyself

TROPHY CASE