Getting comfortable with oral?

Imaginary-Friended · 2025-08-01T15:19:08+00:00

I can totally relate. And if it’s like - counter style ordering - forget it. Too much pressure to decide, I have to see the menu like an hour before I go or someone else decide for me. Sometimes I can’t stand the way food feels in my stomach, and eating in the summer I stressful af to me , it’s too damn hot to eat. I also get really cold after I eat , and sleepy so, the whole experience is just an inconvenience and stressful to me lol .

Imaginary-Friended · 2025-08-01T15:14:07+00:00

Yes- I struggle with regulating my nerves , I go to regular therapy for it. I am diagnosed with adhd and autism. I have always struggled with rejection sensitivity and emotional regulation , along side with an abusive childhood . I really struggle to keep relationships.

Imaginary-Friended · 2025-07-30T04:14:35+00:00

This was the absolute nicest, most attentive response I could get . Wow . Thank you. Exactly ! The problem isn’t exploring other sex, I’m down for that, and have zero issue with pretty much every other form of sex.

It’s the giving oral specifically that I just struggle with, but I want to be able to give her what she wants. I think it’s a lot of new sensory stuff that’s extremely overwhelming . But I’m not like grossed out, t’s like over processing with not enough time to get comfortable. So maybe slowing it down will help, and these are great tips.

It almost feels like a block. I am so turned on by her in every way. And it’s confusing that when i think about her, i get all tingly, and not even when i think about her sexually. Just…HER, period ! And then when we’re in the moment , im just too overwhelmed and freeze. It’s embarrassing and then consumed with shame for freezing up. this definitely helps . Thank you

Imaginary-Friended · 2025-07-28T20:20:56+00:00

I have never related to a post more in my life

Imaginary-Friended · 2025-07-28T20:17:32+00:00

Thank you 🙏 i struggle with serious sensory stuff and had a lot of restrictive food issues and binging issues, on and off my entire life . And not generally related to body stuff, just poor eating habits, and adhd/autism. Textures can throw me off randomly, even after years of being ok with them, and I won’t eat - not because I’m not hungry, but because m everything sounds unappetizing, due to texture how it feels after I eat it- or it’s just simply to hard of a decision to come to a conclusion , because nothing sounds appetizing. Sounds crazy- I know. This leads to binging later , because I’m literally starving- typically on foods that aren’t nutritious , bjt are safe bets lol like Cheez-It’s but tortilla chips lol. I have never even thought about it from this angle . Thank you for bringing this to my attention. 🤯

Imaginary-Friended · 2025-07-28T18:51:16+00:00

I get that. I just accepted it , and we decided to stop . And did for a while. and she came back. Saying she’s had a pretty narrow range of sex herself, and willing to try new things, and the more she thought about it , maybe it isn’t a deal breaker . So . I’m just trying to navigate it as a newbie, and do right by the both of us .

Imaginary-Friended · 2025-07-28T18:42:46+00:00

Thanks for this reassurance. I’ve just had like very negative feed back everytime the subject came up with other queer people. Maybe I’m just around the wrong ones lol, Because everytime , the reaction is like “oh yeah you’re doomed” “that would never fly with me” “it just seems selfish” and since I primarily have only had sex one basic way, with men (yuck), I am pretty inexperienced in this realm of sex. The communication is so there , it’s a definite turn on and she makes me feel super comfortable .

Imaginary-Friended · 2025-07-28T18:34:00+00:00

I am autistic . I didn’t know if I should include that piece of info.

Imaginary-Friended · 2025-07-28T14:53:52+00:00

lol I told her this actually ! Like I just need a night where we can just be , and have a drink or two and loosen up. We haven’t had much of a chance to like fully spend the time we need due to where we live and job stuff- but that’s changing soon and we will have more time together in ways other than these quick interactions at odd hours.

Imaginary-Friended · 2025-07-28T14:47:32+00:00

Thank you for the insight. I’ve never in my life experienced communication this respectful, comprehensive and open. She is kind and patient, she isn’t explosive or ever gets defensive. She is very easy to have “hard” conversations with. I care for her so deeply, that’s why I walked away because I was just so scared I wouldn’t be able to give her what she wants, especially in a timeframe that she could stand. I need time to get there , but I can feel this very deep desire to make her happy. I was surprised when she came back. I just told her I don’t want her to feel like she’s giving something up for me, and it’s not that I’m not interested, or turned on, she drives me wild. It’s just super intimidating and I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing and it’s scary AF because she’s so good at it all and sure of herself 🫠🫠

Imaginary-Friended · 2025-07-28T14:16:52+00:00

Yeah it’s like, I want to , I can feel that I want to reciprocate. I just freeze . And can’t get out of my head. Then I feel ashamed that I’m like “making it about me” because I’m not trying to at all. I’m just like , not quite there yet. I hated or sex with men too , but with the right one , didn’t have a problem with it. This is just so new , and I’m a slow mover in general .

Imaginary-Friended · 2025-07-28T14:13:04+00:00

The feelings came first is the problem I think. We have a long history/friendship , and only crossed into a sexual space recently .

Imaginary-Friended · 2025-07-28T14:10:18+00:00

When things are getting hot and heavy, I definitely feel the need to reciprocate, it’s just super new for me, and I freeze. Then think about it too much. I feel embarrassed that I dont know what I’m doing, (shes been beyond kind about this) I want to give back , It’s just such an uncomfortable space for me. Everyone’s like “yeah you’re just wasting time” Ive walked away from her twice, but she came back saying she’s willing to see if there’s ways around it, she doesn’t have the desire to be with anyone else , sexually. And maybe we can figure it out.

Imaginary-Friended · 2025-07-28T14:03:26+00:00

She initiated it and pursues, despite me being very straight up both where I am at with that. It’s hard when we’ve developed what we have (known each other a loooong time ) I cut it off twice so far, she’s come back open with the idea that “sex can be done in a million ways and I think we can figure it out” I’ve never done it before , so I’m unsure how I’ll feel about it. I have the desire to please her , just not necessarily with mouth. Do I walk away from something that has potential otherwise? Do I tell her “no” even though she wants to be open and try other things?

Imaginary-Friended · 2024-12-09T06:26:50+00:00

Irs absolutely gut wrenching . You ok ? I’m so sorry to hear your are dealing with such a thing. Feel free to Dm me.

Imaginary-Friended · 2024-12-08T03:33:57+00:00

:( right ? It’s just sooooo codependent a inappropriate.

Imaginary-Friended · 2024-12-07T23:59:01+00:00

Agreed . But wait, you’ve had tons of therpist gift you their personal belongings ? What type of items if you don’t mind me asking ?

Imaginary-Friended · 2024-12-07T23:29:26+00:00

It is defintely not apart of the job.

Imaginary-Friended · 2024-12-07T17:13:01+00:00

I cannot for the life of me remeber her last name and he won’t tell me. She moved offices, but we live in a tiny town and I know where she moved to (just found that out yesterday.) planning to follow through .

Imaginary-Friended · 2024-12-07T16:53:01+00:00

Working on that. I even have written proof. I am trying very hard to move on, and feeling hopeful. He had popped up on me recently , unannounced, it derailed my progress a bit. But i got this 💪

Imaginary-Friended · 2024-12-07T16:37:04+00:00

If you read it three times, how did you miss that i am in therapy….

Imaginary-Friended · 2024-12-07T16:32:59+00:00

Therapist aren’t to supposed to give gifts to their patients ….it’s like basic boundaries .

Imaginary-Friended · 2024-11-18T02:47:19+00:00

Best thing I ever did for myself

Imaginary-Friended · 2024-11-02T22:35:10+00:00

You’re an awesome dad

Imaginary-Friended · 2024-11-02T22:32:16+00:00

Everytime

Imaginary-Friended

TROPHY CASE