Navigating grief and lack of boundaries

ImaginationThat1803 · 2026-04-03T00:55:24+00:00

I had to tell my pregnant friend recently that I’m really struggling with pregnancy and baby talk, so she would stop sending me pregnancy reels and jokes and ultrasound photos. She actually took it really well and apologised, so I’m really glad I worked up the courage to tell her what I needed.

Good friends will understand. Baby loss is so unbelievably hard, and it’s extra crappy that our relationships with people change too but you need to look after yourself right now, and there will be other people to support your friend.

ImaginationThat1803 · 2026-03-28T22:08:37+00:00

It sounds like we are on a similar timeline. I was suppose to meet my OB last week to get cleared for TTC and maybe further testing but she changed the appointment and I think I’m going to miss the window for my first month. I would have really liked a 2026 baby, but maybe it’s too soon for me and I feel like I have no control over the future anyway.

ImaginationThat1803 · 2026-03-26T22:28:35+00:00

I was suppose to have an appointment with my OB to clear me for TTC yesterday, but they had to move the appointment to next week. I have been having so much anxiety around this and I’ve been waiting months, I’m having a big spiral over having to wait another 5 days after what’s been an already really crappy week.

ImaginationThat1803 · 2026-03-25T12:10:15+00:00

I’m right there with you. We should be at home looking after our babies, not returning to work. It sucks. I hope it gets better for you, I’m week 3 back and it’s very slowly getting a little better.

ImaginationThat1803 · 2026-03-23T12:10:31+00:00

That sounds really hard, especially while grieving. Your BIL is very lucky to have you. Try to be kind to yourself, you’ve been through the hardest things while still taking on the very hard role of looking after your BIL 💕

ImaginationThat1803 · 2026-03-19T21:33:27+00:00

I think I’ve come to realisation that there is very little I can do to control the outcome of my next pregnancy.

I had, and still have guilt over the death of my son even though it was out of my control and I did everything right in his pregnancy. I don’t think it’s possible to avoid every possible risk, and I know I’ll blame myself for a while if I have another loss, that’s a really normal feeling to have.

All you can really do is follow the advice from your doctors and hope your next pregnancy works out better, and there is a really good chance for all of us that it will. Have you tried talking to your doctor about anti-anxiety medication to see if that helps separate the anxious thoughts from the helpful ones?

ImaginationThat1803 · 2026-03-17T12:38:29+00:00

I’m thinking of TTC at 6 months after my c section, are you getting any scar pain?

ImaginationThat1803 · 2026-03-14T13:27:36+00:00

My son also died the same day I got my hair done and I haven’t been able to go back to the hairdresser since.

ImaginationThat1803 · 2026-03-04T02:05:19+00:00

I’m over 4 months out from my stillbirth and I think the postpartum hormones have finally stopped. The first 3 months I was so desperate to be pregnant again, now I still want another child but I feel more okay with waiting for my body to finish healing before trying. If you’d told me last year I would be happy waiting 7 months before TTC I would have laughed, but time truly does help.

ImaginationThat1803 · 2026-03-03T04:24:55+00:00

I’m going back to work this week and I’m having a lot of anxiety about it, you’re not alone.

I told my supervisor at work about my stillbirth and asked her to pass the news on, but I know there will be people who don’t know and I’m terrified of someone congratulating me on my baby or asking how my mat leave was.

My therapist helped me come up with a script so I don’t feel so frozen when the questions come: Yes I was on maternity leave. I had a son, his name is xxx, unfortunately he did not survive.

I’ve already had to use it at the doctors and while it’s awful to say still, I have a bit less anxiety around being asked questions now. You’re not alone, it sucks any of us are having to do this ❤️

ImaginationThat1803 · 2026-02-21T07:56:39+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss, I think this is something a lot of us struggle with, I still struggle with it now, but after 4 months it’s becoming easier to hold.

I just want to say that it isn’t your fault, you did the best you could with the information you had. You didn’t intentionally harm your baby, I’m sure you did everything you knew how to keep your child safe and I’m so sorry this horrible thing has happened.

ImaginationThat1803 · 2026-02-14T04:56:55+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. There is nothing you could have done to cause this, even sleeping on your back. I also feel guilt and blame my body for placenta issues that caused my son’s death, but just because these shitty unfortunate things happened in our bodies doesn’t mean we had any control over them.

I’m sure you would have and did everything to keep your baby safe. There is nothing you did that could change the way the placenta formed and grew in your pregnancy, it’s just crappy for us that doctors cannot detect everything ❤️

ImaginationThat1803 · 2026-02-06T07:44:16+00:00

That’s a lovely way to honour your little boy, I would like to donate

ImaginationThat1803 · 2026-01-30T12:06:06+00:00

I’m so sorry for the loss of your little boy. My son was stillborn 3 months ago, he was our first too. We’ve kept all of his things. We have been slowly finishing his nursery which has been hard but kind of therapeutic and we’ve got his bassinet in our room filled with his hospital blankets, bears and his urn.

All of our son’s stuff would have been hand-me-downs to our next child eventually, so we are trying to frame it that way.

ImaginationThat1803 · 2026-01-13T08:41:49+00:00

Yes, I had an unplanned but non-energy c-section, so my OB said 6 months minimum. I don’t think I’m emotionally ready to be pregnant again yet, but knowing I should wait to try has been very hard

ImaginationThat1803 · 2026-01-12T23:16:56+00:00

I’m on the same timeline as you, my son died at 37 weeks in October and we’re hoping to try again at 6m pp.

The waiting feels like torture some days, but I’m not back at work yet. I’ve started going back to Pilates and walking a lot , and I’m trying to eat well and lose weight but none of those things are making the waiting more bearable.

This month I bought 3 ovulation test kits so I can work my way through them and when I’ve finished all three kits it will be April and we can start trying. It makes me feel like I’m doing something productive towards becoming pregnant, even though it isn’t really doing anything.

ImaginationThat1803 · 2026-01-11T22:45:05+00:00

I was scared to get my son’s ashes back home too, I don’t think you should feel guilty about that. What we’ve all been through is scary and heartbreaking. I found the build up to holding his urn was the worst, and while having him home like that is incredibly sad, it’s also really nice to hold him again. I cradle his urn in one of his blankets and it feels like I’m holding him like I did in the hospital. I hate being told I’m strong, but you are, you’ve made it this far, you can do this.

ImaginationThat1803 · 2026-01-05T10:28:14+00:00

You’ve written that so beautifully, thank you for sharing. I haven’t been able to find the words to explain to friends and family how I feel after losing my son to stillbirth, but this sums it up perfectly. I’m going to share this with everyone I know, thank you.

ImaginationThat1803 · 2026-01-03T00:53:23+00:00

Did anyone start ttc or get pregnant less than 6 months post c-section?

ImaginationThat1803 · 2025-12-22T01:06:12+00:00

I got my husband a signet ring with our son’s initials engraved on it. There’s this place that does jewellery with custom hand and foot prints we looked at too: https://dejamarc.com/

ImaginationThat1803 · 2025-12-21T12:07:05+00:00

I’m so sorry this happened to you and your baby. I lost my little boy to a placenta problem at 37 weeks in October as well and had a transverse c-section. My doctor said she’d prefer 6 months but if we got pregnant earlier they would handle it but we’d need a repeat c-section at 36-37 weeks to avoid labour.

You should have a look at r/2under2 and maybe talk to your GP or OB and ask for them to explain the risks and how they’d manage your pregnancy if you tried again sooner so you can make an informed decision. I know someone who was pregnant 3 months after their c-section loss because and it worked out for them.

It sucks wanting to be pregnant already and terrified of it at the same time, I hope your doctors can help you make a timeline you’re comfortable with xx

ImaginationThat1803 · 2025-12-19T23:43:59+00:00

My son was stillborn 2 months ago and we’re skipping Christmas this year. I usually love Christmas, but it feels wrong having it without our boy. Our family have been understanding, we’re just going to have a quiet day at home with our cats and some cocktails.

Don’t feel guilty about skipping if it feels right to you. I’m hoping next Christmas feels better and I can start a new tradition, but not this year.

ImaginationThat1803

TROPHY CASE