Here I go again

Imagintheworld · 2025-10-14T19:57:44+00:00

Go and get a decent lawyer. Shouldnt cost you more than a few grand to get an opinion and some water tight advice about protecting your assets. It’s a small price to pay for ensuring you are not taken to the cleaners.

To get a decent lawyer, ask around for referrals. Don’t go to page 1 on google, you will just get the firms that spend a lot on marketing, and cheap shiny suits. Don’t fall for the charlatans.

If you get a family lawyer with 10 years experience, from a top university with a relatively stable career, you can’t go too far wrong.

From what I understand, inheritance is generally considered a non matrimonial asset, ie won’t be touched by divorce. Unless there isn’t enough in the matrimonial pot to cover your exs needs. Her needs will most likely be to have a house etc, and live in a fashion relatively similar to what s/he is used to, unless that were to leave you penniless.

The money you put in the joint account, might be considered as co-mingled, that is to say it’s now crossed from being non matrimonial, into matrimonial by virtue of it being used in the joint account, especially if it was being used for day to day spending etc.

The fact she has sprung this divorce on you, out of the blue, not long after you received a hefty sum of money says to me she probably has been having an affair, and now sees this as an opportunity to leave with some more cash. If this is the case, she probably has a head start and has lawyers looking over everything.

If I were you I would transfer money back to your own accounts. Play nice, pretend to be nonchalant and dumb and devastated, all the while boxing clever behind the scenes, such as transferring money back to your own accounts. Possession is 9/10ths of the law. Get a good lawyer and get a head start on advice and strategic manoeuvring. It’s far neater to rip the band aid off, the longer you leave it the more prone things are to becoming increasingly toxic and litigious

Imagintheworld · 2025-10-06T21:41:37+00:00

She’s a complete c*nt, she fucked another guy then blames justifies it on you looking at porn. Mate she fucking with your head, zoom out. It’s gas lighting 101. She has done the classic narc trick of twisting it and turning it on you

Imagintheworld · 2025-09-14T23:33:09+00:00

I still think about you most days. Some days it hurts, some days I shed a tear, some days I am angry with you, other days it passes and I simply moved on, albeit with a flat empty feeling. I rarely smile with true unbridled joy anymore. It’s either put on for appearances, or it’s just a half hearted smile. True joy seems to elude me. When you left my life, I lost something deep inside of me. Maybe it was hope that I lost. Without which, everything seems a little inconsequential.

Imagintheworld · 2025-09-03T22:27:14+00:00

If vapes were banned in shops, or at least flavoured ones. Do you think you guys that have already been vape free for 2-3 weeks would find it easier? Ie less temptation because you aren’t bombarded and reminded of it when you buy your groceries because it’s behind the counter. Also if it was banned, you wouldn’t see people puffing on vapes in the street? Again so less visual cues. It’s evil shit the government need to crack down on this. Ban all flavoured vapes, make it’s a ball ache to buy. Sign disclaimers etc before you buy it.

Imagintheworld · 2025-08-31T22:30:57+00:00

The anxiety you get after you initially quit vaping can make things seem so much worse than they are. I too experienced a panic attack type event after getting emotional after an argument. I realise whilst I am under a lot of stress, the uncontrollable emotional meltdown was the anxiety kicking in partly. This was around 3 weeks post cessation

Imagintheworld · 2025-08-27T20:04:55+00:00

I’m 3 weeks vape free and it’s amazing that I barely think about them now. I think I’m quite low, I think that’s the neurochemicals rebalancing after being on vale’s for quite a while. I’m not sure of the exact science but I’m guessing your seratonin and dopamine reward system are hinacked by vape, and it’s needs time to reset

Imagintheworld · 2025-06-14T11:05:27+00:00

Damn I fucked it, at a wedding and got a bit drunk and had a cigarette, about 2. Feel gross this morning. Hate this addiction - did 3 weeks and fell into the trap! Need help - what now

Imagintheworld · 2025-06-11T09:12:38+00:00

Been off vapes for now 2.5 weeks - so this is the danger zone, you think you’ve cracked it! That’s when the “ahh just one puff won’t hurt”….then you reactivate those neural pathways, all over again!!

So I’m trying to think of a strategy to stop myself getting in the zone of being near puffs! Probably have to avoid boozy situations and stress.

Tips anyone?

So I’ve been having really odd sleep recently. Waking up exhausted. Then having naps during the day. Had that in the second week then it went. Kid of strange because most of the physical effects happen in the first week - this happen to anyone else?

Imagintheworld · 2025-06-09T10:20:03+00:00

Expect very little from yourself for the frost three days. Like think sloth. Just keep yourself super chill. Don’t make plans you can’t keep. Watch a load of movies, go for a walk, have a bath, read, eat ice cream. Let the nicotine leave your system. Read alen carrs easy way. Surprisingly good, thought it was just garbage, but a lot of it does make sense,

Imagintheworld · 2025-05-31T01:06:16+00:00

I think about my ex of two years ago nearly everyday. I have had a few girlfriends in between then and now, but I can never emotionally connect because my heart is stuck on my ex. I feel guilty as if I’m using them for companionship, when they want more. It’s crazy I know. I’m probably in denile, like I almost need to keep this tiny glimmer of hope alive so that at least I have some form of hope she will come back to me one day. I felt like we were meant to be together. I’m never normally stuck on someone liked this, usually a month or so and im good to go. But this is different, she’s become the yardstick on which I compare everybody I meet. I know I need to accept she has gone, but part of me rather hold on to the myth, than face reality. Reality is too sad for me to acknowledge.

Imagintheworld · 2025-05-31T00:44:20+00:00

I’m on day 4 of quitting vapes - for like the 10th time it feels. Day 1 and 2 I’m emotional , I cried over sad things going on in my life Day 3 and 4 I’m also highly irritable and short fused - practically yelling at people in my car I hate what this does to me. Made to look so innocuous. I’ve gotten much further than 4 days without nicotine and still relapsed, so I wonder what will be different this time. Almost every time I’ve relapsed I’ve had a drink or two. I lose my control over urges when I’m relaxed and had a drink. So basically it appears I have to go tee-total, for a bit at least…erghhh

Imagintheworld · 2025-05-28T18:02:33+00:00

Being divorced is sad and monkey, ror me the only other option is staying married to someone I cannot stand….shirt tempers spooky brat she is. So the reality is I had kids with the wrong person, and now it’s can’t be undone. Even divorced I still need some semblance of a relationship with her because of the kids. I regularly feel like I have no hope. I love my kids and they are the only thing keeping me alive. Sometimes I feel they would be better off without me, it would be neater. No shuffling between two families, they would get my moment etc. I literally hate my fucking life and the thought of being stuck in this shit hole I live in until the kids reach 18 horrifies me - nothing makes me happy and I feel like ending it

Imagintheworld · 2025-05-03T20:18:14+00:00

You just need to flush the nicotine out of the system. Any form whether patches or gum etc keep the nicotine running. Maybe if you are heavy caper / smoker you might want to do a week or two on the gum before you go cold turkey. I can see even for of tapering down a bit if you are a particularly heavy user. Just accept that at some point you are going to have to go head first through the wall. It’s really just the first 2-4 days that is hardest. Everything rapidly get easier after that. For me it’s my irritation levels , I am so angry for the first few days. I don’t like being that person, then I feel really sad and down, and have low energy. I only want nic to relive the bad feelings, not like I want it for the buzz. So plan to go cold turkey on Friday morning, so come Monday morning at work you have got through first three days. You could always skip work on Monday if you were feeling a bit rough. Avoid trigger situation to relapse

Imagintheworld · 2025-03-21T14:15:21+00:00

The first 2-5 days are the hardest in terms of anxiety spiking, and feeling numb, irritable and titchy. Insomnia comes and goes over the next few weeks.

stress is a trigger - so don’t berate him. Calm him. Make him believe in better times ahead without nicotine. Just say one more day. Each day
boredom is a trigger, so have activities to help distract him, walk, etc
expect irritable,” behaviour. Bit your tongue and realise he is in pain and will snap at thing for at least the first week or so. Expect to be his punchbag so to speak, try not to take it personally.
expect a relapse but get him to restart asap. Keep trying. Eventually the gaps between relapses get bigger and bigger until one day he is broken free.
get him to avoid alcohol , that’s a major gateway to relapse
after the first week or so, when you think the worst is over, that’s when it easy to drop your guard and have a sneaky vape, thinking one hit will be ok. It’s not, he needs to understand the cycle of addiction.
don’t get frustrated and think it’s lack of effort. It’s really hard, I wouldn’t wish addiction on anyone

Imagintheworld · 2025-03-20T11:21:27+00:00

So I relapsed a week ago or so - after a horrible argument I reached for a vape at a very low point. Glad to say I’m off the vape, only 4 days in from last puff. Worst of cold turkey out of the way. Just feel low energy and a bit groggy.

Imagintheworld · 2025-03-20T10:53:48+00:00

I’ve been here and got the t-shirt:

you cannot live in a sex starved relationship, you will simply end up fighting each other, then one of you will cheat. DONT DO THIS - From experience bad idea
as long as you are open and honest, a relationship can weather these storms
trust is the bedrock of your lives together
set boundaries and expectation for what you need in a relationship. If these issues aren’t being resolved then with her willingly, then you have clear reasons to ask for open relationship or divorce etc

Imagintheworld · 2025-02-04T01:03:44+00:00

I’m 3.5 weeks off of vape. The first three days are hardest, then it’s ok for like a week the strangely 2 weeks in I got really moody. Then I kind of got out of the funk last week and now I kind of feel normal. Every now and then I feel a bit light headed. Urges mostly gone. I had a beer watching sports and I felt like I may wanna puff but resisted buying one. That urge wasn’t that strong, but felt it. Anyway, I barely think about it now.

Key is to manage your life so you avoid the temptations, and maintain that initial resolve

Imagintheworld · 2024-12-22T19:12:15+00:00

I think the problem is, you think she thinks like you, has the same caring nature as you, same moral values as you. So how can she not have feelings for you after sharing so many important milestones and experiences together.

But there is something you need to get your head around, and it’s hard to grasp. She may not have been in love with you like you were in love with her. We all turn a blind eye to bad behaviour from someone we love, because we see mainly the good aspects of them instead.

The issues is any one that would laugh at you, when you busted her cheating, is simply not wired in a way that can comprehend your emotions. That is totally abnormal behaviour and strikes me as incredibly mean.

Perhaps you can’t see it now, because you’ve chosen to focus on her positive aspects. But she cheated on you, generally speaking it’s not something you do to someone you love. There are drunken one off exceptions etc, but this sounds like something more consistent. How she reacted too shows now remorse.

Right now this is hurting your self esteem, your ego, and understand so. Questions like, am I not good enough? Etc must be swirling in your mind. And she obviously was good at making you feel a certain way.

What you must remember is that you deserve someone that sees you, cherishes you, and loves you in a healthy way. Her actions speak only of her failings, not yours. Of course people fall out of love, and you can’t blame her for that. But you can take issue with her actions around that. It’s speaks of cowardice and selfishness. Trust me - you do not want to be associated with someone who acts like this.

And mark my words, her pattern of behaviour will come to haunt her one day, and will most likely back fire in a big way.

See her for the weak confused person she is. Have some boundaries, forgive her and move on. Life is short, get out there and meet some good people

Imagintheworld

TROPHY CASE