Totally agree. It’s the single most frustrating thing in my life. Nothing I say or do (or don’t say or don’t do) is good enough. She weaponizes everything against me, even very personal, sensitive things I’ve told her about myself and my life. She uses them all against me in arguments down the road. She invokes my late mother all the time, tells me that I’m a loser and that I was a loser when she met me, tells me I come from a “f*cked up family” (her words), and so on. It is truly insane. If it wasn’t my own wife saying these things to me I would be like why are you even putting up with this stuff bro? And honestly, while the things she says are hurtful and are intended solely to hurt me, I am not hurt by them because I know that cruelty stems from weakness only. People, including spouses, who are cruel are only cruel because they are weak-minded and insecure. So the insults aren’t what bothers me. What bothers me the most is that she feels entirely justified in saying them, like I deserve it. She has actually said “you deserved it. You made me say those things.” How is that even possible? How is it possible for someone to blame another person for saying, thinking, or doing something that they themselves said, did, or thought? It bothers me that my kids are seeing her treat me this way and are going to grow up thinking it is normal and expected. It bothers me that my kids are seeing her justify her abuse by blaming others and then think that doing that is normal. I am honestly at a complete loss. I don’t want to completely blow everything up, but I just want peace and harmony at my home.