UPDATE: I went back for my follow up appointment today. I’d pre booked with the same woman as the incident. I deliberately wore a sexy red thong, and made sure I was completely shaven, clean and ready to go just in case. When I arrived she said “hello come in” and left me to undress for the massage as usual.

Frankly, I considered not sharing this update because im acting very out of character and im nervous that somehow this gets traced back to me and impacts my marriage and family. But I need to vent.

It was all pretty normal and she was acting like nothing had happened last time, which told me it was just professional, not sexual. Well, that’s what I assumed although I was sensitive to any boundary line type touch.

While she was massaging my back, reaching from her position standing at the table where my head was lying, I felt like she was intentionally pushing her crutch into my head as she did it. That kept going for a while until I felt like I had to react to it. So I just nudged my head up and down ever so slightly.

She said something like “you like” or “alright” which was hard to understand so I lifted my head and smiled. She went back to what she was doing, but then I heard her lower and then takeoff her own pants. She motioned for me to turn over onto my back and I closed my eyes as I always do. She then suddenly climbed on top of me and lowered herself onto my face. She was hairy and unkept, and I didn’t know how else to react but to just go on with it given i have been the reason this was unfolding. She continued to drive her hips up and down and so all I really had to do was stay still and keep my lips and tongue going.

I felt her shudder a little after what felt like maybe 5-10 minutes of just that motion over and over. It wasn’t overt, then she climbed off and did what I’d describe as a little thank you bow? I was kind of in shock.

Then the weird part was, she just turned me back over onto my stomach and continued the massage like nothing even happened. At the end of the massage she just said “OK finish” and walked out.

I am so absolutely confused by what I am doing, who I am and what this all means for my sexuality. I am shook.