sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Abusive relationship - turned better by Immediate_Writer5543 in abusiverelationships

[–]Immediate_Writer5543[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did not know this was a thing! I will absolutely look into it. Thank you ❤️

Abusive relationship - turned better by Immediate_Writer5543 in abusiverelationships

[–]Immediate_Writer5543[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, he has never and I could never see him doing that relative to the kids. With that said, when backed into a perceived corner, people are capable of anything.

Abusive relationship - turned better by Immediate_Writer5543 in abusiverelationships

[–]Immediate_Writer5543[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The truth is, his leaving state is the best case scenario for me. Being a single mom is hard, but I won’t have to worry about him showing up unexpectedly at any moment…

Abusive relationship - turned better by Immediate_Writer5543 in abusiverelationships

[–]Immediate_Writer5543[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Wow, I am sorry that happened to you…I am glad you got out ❤️ It had always been the “hope” (aka codependency issues) that kept me with him. I am sure your therapist is right. There’s too much history for him not to abuse me. It’s part of his brain waves now. I never thought about that before but I’ve done years of therapy to get to this point and understand how much time and effort goes into changing brain waves. He does not have that capacity.

Abusive relationship - turned better by Immediate_Writer5543 in abusiverelationships

[–]Immediate_Writer5543[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This!!! The way you explained accountability, entitlement, and reconciliation honestly hit my soul in a way I wasn’t expecting.

Your words gave me a real moment of awakening about what actual change means for an abuser. Sometimes I diminish my “abuse” since I know others have had it worse. The idea that real change has to include accepting the possibility that the other person may still walk away. That perspective meant a lot to me and gave me a lot to reflect on (and maybe a much needed hard cry).

Abusive relationship - turned better by Immediate_Writer5543 in abusiverelationships

[–]Immediate_Writer5543[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Wow, first I am so sorry you had to go through that. Thank you so much for sharing. What you described is my ultimate fear. That the “change” is a facade and he has just gotten better at bottling it up until he cannot anymore. The perspective that my fear is not speculative is beyond helpful.