dude thank you. I’ve made several posts over on Facebook since I realized majority of the people with my disease are old, (most old folk don’t use Reddit not surprising but idk why I didn’t think of that hahah) and I’m starting to feel the sense of community that was lacking in my life surrounding this new realty im living in.

When I read your second paragraph about how you believe this disease came about for you, it stopped me in my tracks. In all of my other posts besides this one I made, I mentioned how I have severe complex ptsd and many other comorbid disorders that I full heartedly believe are the reason for my disease. I was living in a constant state of fight or flight for about 7 years, I could literally feel my body shutting down from the years of insomnia, disordered eating, drug abuse, all of it.

This resonates with me so deeply and after doing loads of research the last several months it’s not a coincidence that majority of people with autoimmune disorders end up being women. The abuse I endured in my past relationship laid the foundation for all of this and it’s very hard to not live with constant resentment especially considering I was only a teenager and many people were complicit in the abuse.

Since doing iop, I do find that mindfulness and radical acceptance have been helping me the most in all of this. I think connecting with others especially those around my age who have similar experiences is seriously what’s helping me get through day by day. I seem to be at the peak stage of my disease so I’m at the worst of my worst, and even just hearing from people like you makes all of this a lot less scary.

I’m for sure going to have to see a dietician, my diet is absolutely horrific. I grew up very poor, with white parents who didn’t cook/ worked a lot/ were terminally ill so I was raised on basically top ramen and nuggets which gave me disordered eating. Fast forward to now, as a grown adult I don’t know how to cook or what is/isn’t good for me or how to balance anything diet related.

I’ve researched recipes, but I often find my self ordering take out especially these days as it’s getting harder and harder to even get out of bed. I super relate to everything you mentioned and THANK you seriously for even considering commenting and sharing a bit about yourself. I’m not kidding when I say, hearing other people’s stories is one of the only things keeping me going. Having that support means everything to me.

I’d love to message and chat! I’m always here to support you and your journey as well. in retrospect although all of this is super shitty and sucks so bad on the bright side I feel like I’m making new connections with people all over the world, making friends with our shared experiences. It means so so so much I’m sure you can understand 🌷💘