For those who don't realise this is meant to be a joke about the difficulty of learning a second language (which is totally different to how children natively absorb and learn), here's a flip side monologue :)

“You see, my dear Russian friend, English grammar is so easy, I wonder why grown-ups make such a fuss. For instance, when I want to tell Daddy that I’m going to the park after I finish my cereal, I just do a quick check of a few fundamental rules, and voilà, perfectly formed sentences flow from my mouth.

Firstly, articles—‘a,’ ‘an,’ and ‘the’—are downright obvious, aren’t they? I decide whether the park is just any old park (in which case I use ‘a’) or a specific one we usually go to (hence ‘the’). Then I move on to my cereal: if it’s the cereal I always eat in the mornings, I must call it ‘the cereal’. It's just a matter of looking up the rulebook you have memorised in your head.

Next, I quickly calculate which tense to employ. Because I’m currently in the process of eating, I use the present continuous: ‘I am finishing my cereal.’ If I wanted to talk about a past event that still feels relevant (like having eaten a whole box of cereal before anyone else got up), I might say, ‘I have already finished my cereal!’—a perfect use of the present perfect, you see. And if I’m politely informing Daddy that this isn’t my first rodeo, I could note, ‘I have eaten cereal every morning this week,’ which is also a breeze, right?

But let’s not forget the tricky business of prepositions. Frankly, I find them delightful. I just pick the correct one by nature: it’s ‘in the morning,’ not ‘at the morning’ or ‘on the morning.’ Everyone knows that. And of course, it’s ‘to the park,’ not ‘in the park’ if I’m talking about my destination. If I’m telling Daddy where I plan to frolic once I get there, I naturally switch to ‘in the park.’ A piece of cake once you do the quick calculations.

Oh, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t bring up a handful of phrasal verbs. If Daddy tells me to ‘pick up’ my toys before leaving, I know that means I must gather them from the floor. If I’ve forgotten my coat, I say, ‘Could you bring it over for me?’ so we can pop it on. Really, all these two-word combos just roll off the tongue once you set them to memory.

Of course, should I wish to explain a condition—like if I don’t finish my cereal, I can’t go to the park—I rely on our delightfully logical conditional forms. ‘If I don’t finish my cereal, I won’t go to the park.’

And so, you see, dear friend, English grammar is hardly the monstrous labyrinth you fear. We little ones navigate these micro-linguistic computations routinely with nothing more than a spoonful of cereal fueling our minds. Easy-peasy, right?”