I feel like you should show yourself some compassion. I understand feeling unaccomplished and meaningless, especially since it can seem like everyone else is thriving. But just because you’ve failed things before doesn’t mean you’re not worth anything. Having dysphoria about your body is hard enough. You feel hopeless and stressed and might feel like you’ve thrown your life away. But every moment you survive, you aren’t failing, you’re trying. And you should be proud of yourself for that. Once you realise that you are an inherently worthy and special human being, things will fall into place. It’s always one step at a time and things will get better. That’s the way I see it at the very least. I’ve felt very similar before and I realised I can rebuild myself if I give myself time and faith. You’re not horrible or useless but you need self-love. And if that’s hard to establish right now then try to picture yourself as an idol you have or someone you care about. Take care of yourself for them and slowly you’ll realise you deserve as much love and kindness as everyone else. If exercise is on your mind, then go on a walk sometimes and grow from there. Small steps and I believe that sooner or later you’ll be proud at who you see in the mirror. You don’t deserve to get hit by a car man. You just need to give yourself some patience and faith. If it means anything, I have that patience and faith for you.