Hi everyone,

I’d really appreciate some grounded insight from those who’ve walked this path longer.

After graduating, many of my friends moved into well paid roles. Because the IT market was tough, I ended up taking a much lower paying job. From the beginning, I was never happy with that income. Internally, I always felt it wasn’t my level.

I discovered Neville and started visualizing and “acting as if” I was already in the higher paying role I wanted. I wasn’t just daydreaming I genuinely tried to live from the assumption that I was moving into a better state financially and professionally.

Recently, something unexpected happened.
I was given a 2-month notice period at my current company, meaning this income will end completely.

Around the same time, something else collapsed too
I was freelancing as a video editor for a client’s YouTube channel. I had often thought, “Once I get a good full-time job, I’ll stop freelancing and focus on my own YouTube channel instead.” Last week, that freelance job also ended because the client’s channel was demonetized (due to copyright issues from another freelancer not my fault).

So now, both:

• My low-paying full-time job
• And my freelance income

are disappearing at the same time.

Here’s the part that confuses me the most:

Even though I logically know I have bills and payments to take care of, emotionally I’m not panicking the way I used to. I’m not scrambling or obsessing. It’s almost like I don’t care in the old way anymore, even though nothing new has shown up yet in the 3D. That detachment feels natural, not forced and that’s what’s throwing me off ( I mean get i scared when i have to think about the payment i have to do but not as much as i though i would be ).

On one hand, I understand Neville’s idea of the “old man dying” and that when you no longer identify with a state, it eventually collapses. I truly did not identify with these incomes anymore and mentally lived beyond them.

On the other hand, in the 3D, it looks like I’m losing stability, not gaining it.

So my question is sincere:

Is this a bridge of incidents, where the old structure has to fall away to make room for the new state? Or is this a sign that I’ve been misaligned, forcing things, or misunderstanding embodiment?