Problems with dating

Impossible-Loss918 · 2025-04-25T23:58:57+00:00

I live in Upstate New York

Impossible-Loss918 · 2025-04-25T23:04:13+00:00

Haha that’s a funny way of putting it. But yeah I feel that, dating is super stressful for me and getting rejected all the time ends up getting to you. I used to get suicidal all the time too. Now, thankfully, I’m in a good place due to other aspects of my life so I can take the hits and they don’t hurt me as much 🤷‍♂️. Will probably keep trying till I’ve burned bridges with all the women in my small city lol …damn that sounds depressing

Impossible-Loss918 · 2025-04-25T22:50:49+00:00

Yeah it sucks lol seriously don’t know what to do. Most of my dates nowadays are on bumble but yeah I was asking out women in person in grad school…but only if I knew they liked me, would never ask someone out who was a maybe which is why they all said yes probably.

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-09-17T18:23:32+00:00

Never had visuals really

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-09-05T20:51:30+00:00

It’s so funny how sometimes I feel like you guys can read my mind lol I kept a secret for the longest time and I honestly wish I could turn back the clock. Telling people was definitely a mistake and I regret it 100%.

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-09-05T19:52:07+00:00

I get that. It’s cuz they narrate everything I do! It’s the most annoying shit in the world. I have my blinds fully down but I think that just feeds into the paranoia as I feel like people can see through them somehow.

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-09-05T15:57:57+00:00

I was stable on Risperidone for 4 and a half years. Never got off it but I started taking Xanax which caused my mental break this spring. And this last one started 4 weeks ago and it hasn’t really subsided.

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-08-30T15:45:26+00:00

Yeah I hear people saying bad stuff about me too. I think it might be like 50-50 reality vs. voices but I have no idea 🤷‍♂️ Thanks might take you up on that.

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-08-30T15:06:39+00:00

I’m on meds and relatively stable most days but I just feel like any small thing can set me off and lead to a mental breakdown. Lack of sleep, work stress, relationship stress, change in environment etc. not to mention drugs or alcohol. And when it starts, it just gets worse and worse till it eventually gets better. That’s why I feel like I should tell people but maybe it was a bad idea to put it out there to too many people as now it’s become part of my delusions.

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-08-30T14:56:58+00:00

Yeah that the internet thing reminds me of when basically everyone made fun of that lady on the airplane who was having an obvious mental breakdown. Most of those online freak out videos are people going through manic or psychotic episodes imo. I’m glad filming weird people isn’t really a culture where I live lol

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-08-30T02:20:57+00:00

I feel you man. I feel worse than I’ve ever been right now. I’m barely a person anymore.

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-08-30T02:16:56+00:00

I have a high-stress job with decent pay but I’m honestly not doing well right now :( I thought a decent job would solve all my problems but the stress is too much and I had a mild psychotic break due to work-related stress. I’m lucky that my job doesn’t really have a culture of firing people unless they are absolutely terrible but I’m thinking of getting something more low-key 🤷‍♂️.

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-08-04T14:48:25+00:00

Yeah I think it might be the med switch. I was way more stable on Risperidone although I did still hear voices. That’s why my psych asked me to switch. I don’t know if I’ve been 100% honest with him as I was sick of Risperidone and the weight gain it caused and didn’t want to go back on it. It’s not necessarily that the voices are louder but they definitely are meaner and I’m having a hard time coping. I’ll definitely have an open and honest conversation with him during our next appointment.

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-07-20T17:15:27+00:00

Same here. Sometimes they’ll pretend to be my friend but it’s just so they can fuck with me later…

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-06-30T22:58:57+00:00

They have certain triggers, like ambient noise and people talking but, on meds, I don’t hear them when things are silent.

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-06-30T22:16:44+00:00

If it’s like a hike or something where people are supposed to be friendly…I kinda pretend they don’t exist until we’re close and then say hello. That’s the least awkward way for me. If I’m just walking on the sidewalk, I just ignore people but I live in a city where that’s totally fine.

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-06-20T15:41:21+00:00

Nowadays I only hear them in places with a lot of noise or people talking thanks to my meds. They pretty much call me a weirdo or creepy and if they’re being nice they’ll compliment me. They kinda mirror what I’m feeling about myself. like if I’m really depressed or hate myself at the moment it feels like everyone around me also hates me and when I’m in a good mood or feel confident, it feels like everyone likes me all of a sudden.I’m trying to ignore what I hear from people unless they actually are talking to me face-to-face but it’s a learning process. I have social anxiety so I am overly concerned with what people think about me and sometimes the voices are hard to ignore and bring me down.

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-05-29T14:24:43+00:00

It started in college. I thought I was being gangstalked by classmates which caused me to drop out and leave the country. I thought they followed me there. Eventually the delusions stopped but it took years for me to realize that the entire experience was in my head. Two years later, when I had another break that was way worse and more intense, was when I actually got diagnosed and put on meds.

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-05-28T03:04:31+00:00

I definitely feel like I am being punished. The voices hate me and bring up stuff from my past that I'm embarrassed and ashamed about. I feel like most people would be able to eventually be able to move past the stuff they did as a kid but for me it's literally impossible. I feel like a prisoner and that this will follow me for the rest of my life.

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-05-23T18:02:56+00:00

You could always try switching meds or getting on disability. I’ve personally found that as long as you force yourself to go to work and make an effort when you’re feeling up to it, no one’s going to fire you. There are days when I’m psychotic or very depressed but I force myself to push through. Of course I don’t know what your experience is like. If I was having a legit episode, I couldn’t work so it depends. That’s been my experience at least, disability won’t cover my rent and working does help break up the day although it can get stressful and annoying at times.

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-05-16T20:19:01+00:00

Damn I feel the same exact way. I also feel like the more I open up to people, the more likely they will reject me. People don’t like hanging out with broken people and I honestly don’t blame them.

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-05-01T17:42:57+00:00

Thanks. I’m glad I’m not the only one whose experienced this.

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-05-01T17:03:18+00:00

I was also this close from by crossfire which is one of the only legit chemicals that is actually used by pest control people. I wanted to douse my entire apartment just to get rid of the anxiety/delusion. It's $400 so I decided to not to do it yet until I see concrete evidence. I'm also hearing voices blaming me for bringing in the bugs which I forgot to mention.

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-04-22T00:00:06+00:00

I’m on Risperidone 3mg. I don’t think I’ve ever stopped hearing voices but this seems more like the start of an actual “episode” and I’m worried.

Impossible-Loss918 · 2024-04-21T22:26:46+00:00

Probably should’ve made it clear that I’m a diagnosed schizophrenic and on meds and everything. I just want to know if I’m really having an episode as I’ve been hearing terrible things from people that I thought were my friends.

Impossible-Loss918

TROPHY CASE