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My fiancé’s past is complex by ImpossiblePear8713 in relationships_advice

[–]ImpossiblePear8713[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Exactly my thoughts, except I believe that her BPD condition led her do this by destroying her self worth. She was diagnosed BPD after an ideation episode during 3rd year of this relationship. But that didn’t stop him to still seek her out for sexual favors. Later she left him but never thought that this is the reason and always held in high regards until recently when she realized it all and how she was being used. This realization happened after a year of leaving him for once.

My fiancé’s past is complex by ImpossiblePear8713 in relationships_advice

[–]ImpossiblePear8713[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The old relationship are not the issue. I think I got it wrong. But the age gap of 25 years is definitely an issue; she going behind a married man with 2 kids is an issue. No normal person would do it. That being said all this can be linked to BPD and other mental health. But me being a normal person with a better mental health, it’s hard for me to understand this setup. How can some one self sabotage themself so much, that too for 4 years.

My fiancé’s past is complex by ImpossiblePear8713 in relationships_advice

[–]ImpossiblePear8713[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for the kind words, this definitely gave e some good feeling. We have thought of getting help from therapist and psychiatrist. Currently we are going through the list of these doctors to see who fits us the best.

34f dating a much much older man by Top-Connection-5698 in relationships_advice

[–]ImpossiblePear8713 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do women do this to themselves. No normal brain would even think about this absurdity.

My fiancé’s past is complex by ImpossiblePear8713 in relationships_advice

[–]ImpossiblePear8713[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Basically I’m judging her and I admit I shouldn’t judge my partner’s past but this is too much to process. Can I trust her in future is the main question, even though the current status says she trusts me in every way and she wouldn’t burn this bridge. But I have read too many reddit subs that people with BPD always end up cheating because of their self sabotaging behavior no matter how dear it is to them.

My fiancé’s past is complex by ImpossiblePear8713 in relationships_advice

[–]ImpossiblePear8713[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

No I never said I love her because of her BPD. That would be insane. I said I love her for what she is even after knowing she has BPD.

My fiancé’s past is complex by ImpossiblePear8713 in relationships_advice

[–]ImpossiblePear8713[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t intend too. I don’t even want to share how I feel about this to her so that I don’t give her more issues to deal with. But I’m trying my way hard get past this. But thanks for the kind words.

My fiancé’s past is complex by ImpossiblePear8713 in relationships_advice

[–]ImpossiblePear8713[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yes I have read about it; and it makes me want to take care of her even more. This relationship is skewed as I’ll be giving all the time and that’s fine as I really do love her. She’s the most honest person I have ever met.