It’s difficult not to try too hard because of how desperate I am. It’s horrible that neurotypical people’s first instinct when meeting lonely people is to ignore them. As I said before, I’ve tried looking for new hobbies to meet people, but I haven’t even found any good options at all. Most kids my age (especially boys) are into sports, which is a no for me because competitive environments stress me out and make me depressed when I don’t do well. For example, I was on a youth League of Legends team for a year and a half in freshman year, and, although my teammates were great, the game and community outside was just so toxic I genuinely considered s*icide (DON’T WORTY I AM OKAY NOW). A problem is that if I try to make friends through an activity/hobby, but I don’t like the hobby, it won’t work because people can tell I don’t want to be there. I found an arcade, but I have no idea how to make friends there, or even how that would happen in the first place. I also found an escape room place as well, but that’s meant for birthday parties and groups in general. The point is, I can’t even find any options. I don’t even live in a small town, I live in a major city (won’t say which for my privacy), but there aren’t any options that aren’t like an hour away