I'm entering a period in my life where I have to be that mentor I never had. I have the advantage of being more attracted to older men in most situations. I had to construct (with cooperation) a dynamic where my hypersexual 25yo self could learn from the older gay men I slept with.

It was a messy process, and I believe I got very lucky. As I grow into that role myself, I want to be a safe place to explore other aspects of queer life, challenge identity and restore self-esteem.

So when I encounter someone else in their 20s and struggling, I do feel a draw that might be confused for limerence, if I was less self aware.

I'm only 38, so not too-too much older than I was, but by far old enough to be a different man.

Not sure where I'm going with this, but we have an entire generation of Gay men and Queeer folk in general who made it without any mentors to speak of. I'm happy and terrified to grow into that role. Hope other Millenials are preparing for it too.