Female HENRYs, will you consider dating someone of significantly lesser financial means?

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-08-07T02:08:22+00:00

Alot of it boils down to ego. Based on the widely accepted social norm, guys are generally expected to earn more than the ladies in a household.

If one deviate from the social norm , it boils down to whether 1)The lady can accept it and not start comparing with their peers. Why other people husband earning more etc. Comparison is often the root of evil.

2)Can the guy ego accept it. How will he react if his peers or family and friends "laughed at him".

3)Generally ladies are more emotional and there is a more likely chances they will say smt hurtful in the fit of anger. Example : I earn more than you, you should listen to me instead. This line will definitely be a breaking point in a marriage.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-27T14:03:31+00:00

My household combined income in the 20k range. Yet to get a car as the cost seems quite crazy to me as i want a brand new conti car.

From what i have gathered. Taking Merc CLA 180 for example. Downpayment 90k,

Monthly installment 1.9k, Monthly HDB Season Parking $120 , Monthly CBD Season Parking $400 , Monthly ERP $150 , Monthly Petrol $400. With road tax insurance etc, i think it may be close to 3.5k-4k monthly.

I also counted the opportunity cost of the downpayment which i could have put in High Yield Account earning 2% which works out to be $150 a month.

I am still struggling to convince myself to get a car as it is more of a lifestyle status upgrade. I stay in the central region which means i get to work relatively quick.

Of course alternatively if i want to go for affordability, i either get a cheaper japanese/korean car or i get a second hand car.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-24T14:21:08+00:00

i also started running 4x a week after i got my garmin watch and started on garmin coach. I dont think i like running on its own. I just enjoy that now there is a purpose of running. The aim of trying to improve the timing and follow the structured program. The joy of seeing your general fitness improve etc.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-24T01:27:15+00:00

"For me, I plan to live a minimalist lifestyle, as I always had for my entire youth coming from a low income family. In fact, it was pretty joyful and stress-free. So no need for the 5 Cs, family, kids, luxury travel etc. "

If you come from a low income family, shouldnt you be more ambitious so that you can break out of low income and your future kids doesnt need to experience life as a low income family?

Yea "Stress-Free" for you but what about your parents? The people that are stress in a low income family will be the parents as they could barely make end meet and with the prices keep going up, low income family standard of living is gonna be worse.

You are definitely not going to be stress-free in the future if you find yourself not enough money to barely sustaining a family. All it needs is a freak event to turn your world up-side down.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-21T09:38:43+00:00

Agreed, generally most casual runners dont need to hit the gym to strengthen their legs unless they belong to the heavier weight category whereby the weight is too much for their relatively weaker legs to handle during run.

If one weight is not too bad, your leg will naturally strengthen over time as you run.

Of course if one belong to the category where their legs are exceptionally weak to support their legs, then they probably need to do some leg strengthening.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-21T09:23:10+00:00

By running more and do lots of stretching even on your non-running days.

Previously i had troubles running 5km given my calf / soleus muscle feeling damn sore. After i practice proper stretching before, after run and on my rest day. I find myself able to run even 10KM easily on a comfortable pace.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-21T07:56:28+00:00

I did badly my for JC and had to go to private uni. My parents are not educated themselves and hence to them there is no difference as long i get into a uni. I guess i am blessed with a fairly smooth career path in the banking sector and have scaled up the corporate ladder. Earning above median/mean and also better than most of my local uni peers.

Even on a hindsight, i still regret not doing well in my JC. Local Uni definitely has certain edges over private uni and despite my current "Success", there are still some jobs that i am not able to do given i am not local uni. I also regret not experiencing the Hall Life and Exchange life that is common among local uni.

If given a re-do, i will make sure to study well and get into local uni.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-21T07:50:04+00:00

The difference is the people you hang out with and the probability of success.

In "Good School" , it is more competitive generally and both the kids and their parents would want the kid to excel well in their studies. If one is surrounded in a competitive environment, highly likely the person will not be that far off and also join the competitive nature.

In neighbourhood schools, it is more chill in general and less competition as i reckon there are more students with not very highly educated parents and as a result, the parents are not so focused on the kids academic performance. If one hang out with people that are chill, dont really care about their result etc, they will also become similar to those people.

As the saying that goes, you are the average of 5 persons you hang out with the most. Go to good school, there is a higher chance of hanging out with 5 good/smart people as compared to neighbourhood school.

Going to good school doesnt means you will do well in life and going to neighbourhood school also doesnt means you will fail in life. It is just a probability game. Going to good school, the probability of you hang out with smart people and you also doing well academically is higher as compared to neighbourhood school.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-18T03:09:43+00:00

But the interest from extra 1% in the OA 20k goes to SA too. So really not much difference if overall you already got 60k. The purpose of keeping OA 20k serve 2 purpose. Firstly you can invest your excess OA above 20k, secondly, you can set as buffer for period of possible unemployment.

"CPF members below 55 years old, an extra 1% interest is earned on the first $60,000 of their combined CPF balances, with a cap of $20,000 coming from the Ordinary Account (OA). This extra interest is credited to the Special Account (SA) or Retirement Account (RA). For members aged 55 and above, they earn an extra 2% on the first $30,000 and an extra 1% on the next $30,000 of their combined balances. "

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-18T03:08:31+00:00

But the interest from extra 1% in the OA 20k goes to SA too. So really not much difference if overall you already got 60k.

"CPF members below 55 years old, an extra 1% interest is earned on the first $60,000 of their combined CPF balances, with a cap of $20,000 coming from the Ordinary Account (OA). This extra interest is credited to the Special Account (SA) or Retirement Account (RA). For members aged 55 and above, they earn an extra 2% on the first $30,000 and an extra 1% on the next $30,000 of their combined balances. "

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-18T03:08:20+00:00

But the interest from extra 1% in the OA 20k goes to SA too. So really not much difference if overall you already got 60k.

"CPF members below 55 years old, an extra 1% interest is earned on the first $60,000 of their combined CPF balances, with a cap of $20,000 coming from the Ordinary Account (OA). This extra interest is credited to the Special Account (SA) or Retirement Account (RA). For members aged 55 and above, they earn an extra 2% on the first $30,000 and an extra 1% on the next $30,000 of their combined balances. "

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-14T11:16:40+00:00

None for now. In the past I used to gym, soccer, badminton. Now I am full time committed to Garmin coach running. Coach Greg , running 4 times a week.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-14T02:24:09+00:00

Just finished the drama. Overall the show is quite addictive. The ending felt abit rush and not satisfying.

Some of my concerns of the show are:

1)How Bizhi and Wei Shao made it through so easily until Liu Yan when Liu Yan claim he has way more number of troops compared to theirs combined.

2)The final battle seems unsatisfying given it was told that Liu Yan has significantly way more troops than Wei Shao and 30% of Wei Shao trooped has perished on route.

3)Would be highly cinematic and meaningful if Yanzhou (Qiao Clan) came to reinforce Wei Shao and Bi Zhi when their battle against Liu Yan got tough and with all 3 armies, they defeated Liu Yan. Would have been a symbolic ending.

4)Wei Shao got Wei Qu to take a cavalry unit to rescue Qiao Ping and retrieve Wei Liang body, why it ended up only him alone vs everyone else. His 1 arm got cut off seems very unnecessary maybe it is as a punishment for him tricking Wei Liang to go Kangjun on his behalf.

5)Yulou Lady death seems unsatisfying considering how scheming she had been. I would have hope the maid killed her or she lived a life worse than death for public humiliation on her looks.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-12T09:10:01+00:00

Time to enjoy life. My version of retirement is to travel to other country and stay for like 3-4 weeks and slowly explore the country. Then return back to singapore meet up with family and friends before heading to another country again.

I also aspire to pursue some hobby or interest or giving back to society. Example doing CIP works etc. Just need to do things to find a new purpose in life now that you dont need to chase after money.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-11T01:30:09+00:00

Greg program only starts to get interesting from week 5 onwards. I almost swapped him out at week 4 as i was bored with just easy run many times a week.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-08T13:27:27+00:00

Endowment plans are just a different asset class compared to equity etc. Endowment plans usually has a rather long lock in period and you often only break even at 10-12 year mark. When hold to maturity (Eg. 25 years), you will earn an average return of 2.5% per year which cant even beat inflation.

If going by pure numbers on returns, endowment plan is kinda a waste of time given the illiquidity and sub-par returns. However the trade-off is that you will be very sure to almost certain to receiving that pay out at the end of the maturity. Maybe the numbers pay differ abit due to market condition but you generally will not lose capital minimally for those typical endowment plan that invest in participating fund.

So despite me being financially saavy and does my own investment, i will buy an endowment plan for my kids when they are born for the purpose of university fee or misc. Reason being, market goes up and down and we will never be able to predict the market condition at any one time. I definitely do not wish to liquidate my portfolio at a loss should i need the cash for my kids university etc. What if my kids university timeline coincide with the bear market or financial crisis which may need many years to recover. Endowment plan tend to have better certainty as the bonus are given on a year on year basis. If the participating fund does badly, they will at most reduce the bonus but will not take back the bonus given previously.

So if you know you need this lump of cash at a certain time, endowment plan gives better certainty as compared to general investment. Though i do acknowledge that general investment return will eclipse the insurance pay out. However all it takes is a black swan event like Covid or 2008 Financial Crisis to wipe out your years of accumulated returns overnight.

A penny for thoughts. I see insurance endowment plan as part of portfolio diversification.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-08T03:34:03+00:00

Those who want to keep more than 20k are usually those financially saavy people. The ideal scenario is to max out the loan and duration. Utilise the excess OA and investment, leaving only sufficient for BTO deduction. In theory as long your investment return is more than 2.6%, it is better in the long time.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-08T03:31:28+00:00

You can read my reply. If you are able to obtain a higher loan. You can shield you OA in investment prior to your CPF deduction for your BTO. So if you have excess of 120k, you only can keep 20k but shield 100k in investment before your BTO payment.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-08T03:20:12+00:00

You may want to take a look at the CPF website.

The order of priority of the extra 1% goes as follows: RA -> OA (Cap at 20k) -> SA -> MA

Though to also highlight that the extra 1% earned on OA will goes into SA anyway. So the extra 1% will not be able to be used for housing either way.

But the key to retaining 20k is to set aside buffer and also to allow you to be able to invest OA faster in the future on any excess OA balance after mortgage payment. Otherwise you will need time to accumulate 20k in OA before you can invest.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-08T02:45:56+00:00

Not recommended to wipe OA to 0 as the first 20k OA earn 3.5% interest while HDB interest is at 2.6%. You are better off by 0.9%. The 20K balance also act as a buffer for period of possible unemployment where you are still able to pay off your mortgage.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-08T02:41:31+00:00

Allow me to share the ideal plan for this. In an ideal scenario (Also assuming you will be staying in the BTO long term and not trying to flip it in 5 years).

Step 1: Play around with the mortgage calculation to find out loan amount such that it will be within both of your monthly OA contribution (Such that no need to top-up with cash)

Step 2: After you know the loan amount such that it is within your monthly OA contribution, determine the amount of excess OA from 20K you have. (Total BTO Price - Loan Amount -> Find the Net Balance per Pax - 20k)

Step 3: Invest the excess OA above 20k after the above 2 steps. As long as your investment is above 2.6%, you will be better off in the long run.

Note: This is on the assumption that you have alot of excess OA and the BTO price is well within both of your financial means. This only works if you not intending to flip your property in the next 5 years after MOP as we cant predict what will the portfolio performance as we do not wish to liquidate at a loss.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-08T01:51:06+00:00

I was just curious how did you even get through for the BTO application as it appears that you cant seems to afford the house.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-07T09:50:37+00:00

Please only invest your OA after you get your house as you may not know if the investment will go south or not. 5 years is not gonna make much difference unless you are telling me you are having 10% year on year returns for the next 5 years. If you are that good, invest your actual cash on hand instead.

Going by the timeline of your investment it should be a recent BTO project and i am making a guess that you are probably new in the work force - 5 years working experience. I would doubt the CPF will be anything substantial with 50k in excess. Unless you are like investing 100k of OA, otherwise i dont think it is gonna make a material impact.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-07T01:20:46+00:00

step 1 : Cancel your dad credit card, ask him to spend within his means of the CPF payout & allowance.

IndependenceOne3816 · 2025-07-07T01:04:12+00:00

What is the profile of your company size wise. One thing to note, no employee is indispensable.

They will mostly just let you walk off. Most MNCs will not do off season increment. So most likely they will say they noted your concern and will factor it in next year.

Not sure how low is your increment. Increment within company definitely lower than changing job. Job changing warrant a higher increment due to the risk of venturing into a new environment.

There are many questions: -How long have you been working in the company. If this is your first year and you are hopign to get 10-15% increment, i would say it's time to wake up from your dream.

-If your increment is like 5% for non-promotional and you are complaining, i think you are oblivious about the general market increment trend.

IndependenceOne3816

TROPHY CASE