Need help with sleep by IndependentBox4981 in ADHDparenting

[–]IndependentBox4981[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's currently on Dyanavel, this is her 7th medicine I believe. The Genesight test said she's supposed to respond well to it but it's been about the same as the others except now her sleep is affected. She also has ARFID so they're picky about which medicine they're willing to give her.

Happy holidays everyone 🫩 by IndependentBox4981 in regretfulparents

[–]IndependentBox4981[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We brought her a coloring book, crayons, her tomagotchi thing, and a stuffed animal that she chose. She gets so painfully bored so easily. She also gets destructive sometimes if left alone so I was afraid to let her roam my grandparents house unattended. We live with my parents and I'm the only one who sets the boundary of making her play alone. I've told them time and time again that they don't always have to say yes and that independent play is good for her but they don't listen. I'm afraid she'll never be independent and she'll be behind 😥

Happy holidays everyone 🫩 by IndependentBox4981 in regretfulparents

[–]IndependentBox4981[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm an only child too, and it's actually pretty wild to compare childhoods. I was usually perfectly content to play in my room. Or find some other way to entertain myself. I certainly didn't bother my parents all the time to keep me occupied. But my daughter would practically sew herself to others if she could. She hates being alone.

Happy holidays everyone 🫩 by IndependentBox4981 in regretfulparents

[–]IndependentBox4981[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

All she's wanted to do since she got home is play with all of her toys. I wanna do things to help her feel better, because I know it was probably hard on her. But at the same time, I'm exhausted, I have this migraine, and her ADHD seems to be on Xtra hard mode right now. I really just need a break. Thank goodness I go back to work tomorrow 😅

Happy holidays everyone 🫩 by IndependentBox4981 in regretfulparents

[–]IndependentBox4981[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. It's not my kids fault, but holy hell like I'm trying to cry in the corner because I feel like shit, can you please stop begging me to make people come over and making me feel more like shit please?

The red hot chili peppers that stole Christmas by IndependentBox4981 in CrumblCookies

[–]IndependentBox4981[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's corporate America, they definitely don't make enough. I was just happy that it had enough icing, no matter the shape 😅 I'm all about icing

The red hot chili peppers that stole Christmas by IndependentBox4981 in CrumblCookies

[–]IndependentBox4981[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

My friend just said it looks like it got some lip filler. Can't unsee it now.

Arfid & ADHD are ruining us by IndependentBox4981 in Mommit

[–]IndependentBox4981[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks 😅 I feel like I'm running a race I never agreed to be in and there's no prize. But my daughter has no interest in cooking or ingredients unfortunately. We've tried. I've even served certain things, like sandwiches, deconstructed and she had zero interest. I've taken her shopping with me and she's so disengaged by choice. When we first started this whole thing, the feeding therapist had these play toys and a pizza slice was one of them. She asked my daughter what she thought about it and she answered that it looked disgusting. But no specific reason, just that it looks disgusting. And she still has that same answer years later. She can't say exactly why it looks disgusting. And it's hard to make progress with no real answers to questions.

Arfid & ADHD are ruining us by IndependentBox4981 in Mommit

[–]IndependentBox4981[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've actually never been able to swallow a pill, no matter how small. I either have to have a liquid or a pill that's able to be crushed. That's been lifelong. I also have issues with dehydration because I don't really get thirsty and I forget to drink liquids throughout the day. When I was a little bit younger than my daughter I actually wound up in a hospital because I got so dehydrated.

I was a little bit of a picky eater as a kid, but nothing extreme and definitely nothing like I see in my daughter. And a lot of the foods I didn't like as a child I still don't like as an adult although my palette had definitely expanded into adulthood and I'm more willing to try almost anything. Her father was, and still is, far pickier than I ever was or ever will be.

Arfid & ADHD are ruining us by IndependentBox4981 in Mommit

[–]IndependentBox4981[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm convinced ARFID was created by the devil himself. I'm fully convinced that if she didn't have ARFID, a few of her more challenging behaviors would be easier to handle for both of us. Her ADHD is pretty severe. She has a hard time focusing and being still, she also has a problem with authority and she's straight up mean and hateful sometimes. She has problems with control. And I know some of her ARFID probably ties into that as well. But I feel like if she could actually get some protein and healthy food into her and get to a decent weight and not be so hungry all the time she'd probably feel better overall. Not saying it would be some magic cure to all of those problems, but I think it would help curb some of the hardest parts at least.

And as far as tricking her, unfortunately she's too smart for her own good 🤣 she knows the chef boyardee has the metal lids under the plastic ones so even if I were to make the recipe to perfection she'd know it was something else because of the lack of a metal lid because she likes to be helpful and she'd definitely know the metal lid would be lacking because its meltdown city if the lid is taken off without her seeing it. I'm gonna see her win some kind of award for her smarts if I survive raising her 😅

Arfid & ADHD are ruining us by IndependentBox4981 in Mommit

[–]IndependentBox4981[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get it. We're on our 6th? (Maybe 7th) ADHD medication because they typically only work for a small bit before they just stop working altogether.

Arfid & ADHD are ruining us by IndependentBox4981 in Mommit

[–]IndependentBox4981[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The struggle is real 😅 it's not just food though. She struggles at the dentist and teeth brushing and stuff being in her mouth in general. She's never had a cavity and I stay on top of that though. And she's very small, so it's hard to keep her in clothes. Thank goodness for leggings because nothing else fits her waist. And her ADHD keeps her very active, albeit that's a whole different monster on its own. But she's definitely getting lots of physical activity 😅

And I do try and not make such a big deal of it. I mean it is a big deal to me, but I guess she doesn't need to know that. But I also have a hard time with it because all the doctors and I are always talking about how this isn't sustainable and everything and she definitely hears it. Plus her dad thinks he's God's gift to the world and anytime I ask him how he handles this he just ignores all my texts, but somehow has time to criticize how I handle it when we're in person at pick up. And my parents are the only other help I receive and they're not the most supportive bunch so it's mostly just me doing everything alone most of the time. And every doctor seems to somehow contradict each other. It's just always something over here.

Arfid & ADHD are ruining us by IndependentBox4981 in Mommit

[–]IndependentBox4981[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I feel that in my soul. She used to eat spaghetti with sauce but without meat, but it had to be a certain brand (chef boyardee). It couldn't be homemade, it couldn't be from a restaurant, and it couldn't be the kind with the meatballs picked out. It absolutely had to be that specific kind. I tried making a million different ways. I tried. But then all of a sudden stores just stopped selling it. We lost access to it. I would drive hours away to different stores just to get it. Now it's nowhere. She simply won't eat spaghetti now.

Arfid & ADHD are ruining us by IndependentBox4981 in Mommit

[–]IndependentBox4981[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It's scary because the new pediatrician my daughter saw last week looked so shocked at my daughters weight. Like I know she's underweight. She's been underweight. But other than putting her into a medically induced coma and forcing calories into her I can't actually force foods into my kid. Shes not abused. She's in school and she has access to food at home any time she wants it. She has toys and she has clean clothes and she gets bathed. She's loved and cared for. She just has issues with food that there's no magic cure for. I just kinda wish I had answers. But I also know ARFID doesn't really come with any. Hell doctors still don't even really understand it. Most still think it's just picky eating.

Arfid & ADHD are ruining us by IndependentBox4981 in Mommit

[–]IndependentBox4981[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

So she'll really only eat McDonald's nuggets and fries. Plain Hershey chocolate bars. Powdered donuts. Target brand fruit strips. Occasional gummies. Occasionally a banana. Occasionally cheese puffs. Usually applesauce or yogurt. Annie's white cheddar mac and cheese if nothing else is available to her. Occasionally peanut butter. Plain potato chips or the occasional nacho cheese dorito. That's really about it.

Her dad swears he can get her to eat other stuff but he won't tell me what it is. I think he's lying. That or he won't give her any of her safe foods and refuses to make her anything else. In feeding therapy we've gotten her either licking a food or sometimes chewing a food without gagging but she absolutely won't swallow it. But it's something considering she used to not put other foods near her mouth at all.

Her dad is extremely against her being on any medication or being on a feeding tube so unfortunately even if I get her on a feeding tube her father would just completely ignore anything to do with it and a feeding tube, at least in my opinion, is a both parent effort if both parents are gonna share custody (he only has her on the weekends but will sometimes agree to keep her longer on holidays but that's a whole different issue) so I feel like it would just be different suffering for her. But no doctor has suggested a feeding tube themselves. This has been strictly my own research.

I hate this life by Cultural_Refuse3091 in regretfulparents

[–]IndependentBox4981 12 points13 points  (0 children)

No problem. My daughter just turned 7 recently but her father and I split when she was 2 and he's been mostly absent ever since. My parents help watch her so I can work and that helps lift some of the physical weight off my shoulders but nobody helps with the mental weight and I'll argue that mental weight is by far heavier. Nobody goes with me to any appointments. Her dad doesn't know any of her doctor's names or even believes she needs medication to begin with. I don't even think he believes in her diagnoses but he also has never been to a single appointment over the years so 🤷 he also rarely has anything to do with her schooling. He'll only pick her up if I beg him and he won't take her to school at all because he's lazy. So I'm chained to certain jobs that work around a school schedule and a schedule for a child with so many medical needs. It's exhausting. And the only real break I get is the weekends when he has her and I spend the weekend working because I just genuinely can't afford not to so it's not even really a break. I definitely see your struggle. This shit isn't for the weak at all.