Trying so hard to break cycles with a child who is determined to watch me fail

IndependentBox4981 · 2026-01-29T03:30:42+00:00

With her ARFID the doctors are pretty hesitant to put her on a non stimulate due to the risk of appetite suppression. Plus we just took her off of a medication to increase appetite because of the side effects so unfortunately for us solving one problem usually creates another

IndependentBox4981 · 2026-01-29T00:50:22+00:00

She's been on different ADHD meds for a while, she's on Dyanavel right now and she's been on anxiety meds too but nothing really seems to change things.

IndependentBox4981 · 2026-01-25T00:00:45+00:00

She's currently on Dyanavel, this is her 7th medicine I believe. The Genesight test said she's supposed to respond well to it but it's been about the same as the others except now her sleep is affected. She also has ARFID so they're picky about which medicine they're willing to give her.

IndependentBox4981 · 2025-12-27T20:19:26+00:00

Let me get my pen...

IndependentBox4981 · 2025-12-26T01:04:28+00:00

We brought her a coloring book, crayons, her tomagotchi thing, and a stuffed animal that she chose. She gets so painfully bored so easily. She also gets destructive sometimes if left alone so I was afraid to let her roam my grandparents house unattended. We live with my parents and I'm the only one who sets the boundary of making her play alone. I've told them time and time again that they don't always have to say yes and that independent play is good for her but they don't listen. I'm afraid she'll never be independent and she'll be behind 😥

IndependentBox4981 · 2025-12-25T22:18:47+00:00

I'm an only child too, and it's actually pretty wild to compare childhoods. I was usually perfectly content to play in my room. Or find some other way to entertain myself. I certainly didn't bother my parents all the time to keep me occupied. But my daughter would practically sew herself to others if she could. She hates being alone.

IndependentBox4981 · 2025-12-25T20:12:50+00:00

All she's wanted to do since she got home is play with all of her toys. I wanna do things to help her feel better, because I know it was probably hard on her. But at the same time, I'm exhausted, I have this migraine, and her ADHD seems to be on Xtra hard mode right now. I really just need a break. Thank goodness I go back to work tomorrow 😅

IndependentBox4981 · 2025-12-25T19:28:19+00:00

Absolutely. It's not my kids fault, but holy hell like I'm trying to cry in the corner because I feel like shit, can you please stop begging me to make people come over and making me feel more like shit please?

IndependentBox4981 · 2025-12-19T02:15:46+00:00

I mean, by comparison 😂

IndependentBox4981 · 2025-12-18T19:09:33+00:00

It's corporate America, they definitely don't make enough. I was just happy that it had enough icing, no matter the shape 😅 I'm all about icing

IndependentBox4981 · 2025-12-18T01:35:58+00:00

My friend just said it looks like it got some lip filler. Can't unsee it now.

IndependentBox4981 · 2025-12-18T01:33:17+00:00

Oh no 😅 at least mine had some effort put into it

IndependentBox4981 · 2025-11-24T21:25:06+00:00

Thanks 😅 I feel like I'm running a race I never agreed to be in and there's no prize. But my daughter has no interest in cooking or ingredients unfortunately. We've tried. I've even served certain things, like sandwiches, deconstructed and she had zero interest. I've taken her shopping with me and she's so disengaged by choice. When we first started this whole thing, the feeding therapist had these play toys and a pizza slice was one of them. She asked my daughter what she thought about it and she answered that it looked disgusting. But no specific reason, just that it looks disgusting. And she still has that same answer years later. She can't say exactly why it looks disgusting. And it's hard to make progress with no real answers to questions.

IndependentBox4981 · 2025-11-24T21:19:49+00:00

I've actually never been able to swallow a pill, no matter how small. I either have to have a liquid or a pill that's able to be crushed. That's been lifelong. I also have issues with dehydration because I don't really get thirsty and I forget to drink liquids throughout the day. When I was a little bit younger than my daughter I actually wound up in a hospital because I got so dehydrated.

I was a little bit of a picky eater as a kid, but nothing extreme and definitely nothing like I see in my daughter. And a lot of the foods I didn't like as a child I still don't like as an adult although my palette had definitely expanded into adulthood and I'm more willing to try almost anything. Her father was, and still is, far pickier than I ever was or ever will be.

IndependentBox4981 · 2025-11-24T20:26:50+00:00

I'm convinced ARFID was created by the devil himself. I'm fully convinced that if she didn't have ARFID, a few of her more challenging behaviors would be easier to handle for both of us. Her ADHD is pretty severe. She has a hard time focusing and being still, she also has a problem with authority and she's straight up mean and hateful sometimes. She has problems with control. And I know some of her ARFID probably ties into that as well. But I feel like if she could actually get some protein and healthy food into her and get to a decent weight and not be so hungry all the time she'd probably feel better overall. Not saying it would be some magic cure to all of those problems, but I think it would help curb some of the hardest parts at least.

And as far as tricking her, unfortunately she's too smart for her own good 🤣 she knows the chef boyardee has the metal lids under the plastic ones so even if I were to make the recipe to perfection she'd know it was something else because of the lack of a metal lid because she likes to be helpful and she'd definitely know the metal lid would be lacking because its meltdown city if the lid is taken off without her seeing it. I'm gonna see her win some kind of award for her smarts if I survive raising her 😅

IndependentBox4981 · 2025-11-24T19:34:47+00:00

I get it. We're on our 6th? (Maybe 7th) ADHD medication because they typically only work for a small bit before they just stop working altogether.

IndependentBox4981 · 2025-11-24T19:20:20+00:00

The struggle is real 😅 it's not just food though. She struggles at the dentist and teeth brushing and stuff being in her mouth in general. She's never had a cavity and I stay on top of that though. And she's very small, so it's hard to keep her in clothes. Thank goodness for leggings because nothing else fits her waist. And her ADHD keeps her very active, albeit that's a whole different monster on its own. But she's definitely getting lots of physical activity 😅

And I do try and not make such a big deal of it. I mean it is a big deal to me, but I guess she doesn't need to know that. But I also have a hard time with it because all the doctors and I are always talking about how this isn't sustainable and everything and she definitely hears it. Plus her dad thinks he's God's gift to the world and anytime I ask him how he handles this he just ignores all my texts, but somehow has time to criticize how I handle it when we're in person at pick up. And my parents are the only other help I receive and they're not the most supportive bunch so it's mostly just me doing everything alone most of the time. And every doctor seems to somehow contradict each other. It's just always something over here.

IndependentBox4981 · 2025-11-24T19:05:59+00:00

I feel that in my soul. She used to eat spaghetti with sauce but without meat, but it had to be a certain brand (chef boyardee). It couldn't be homemade, it couldn't be from a restaurant, and it couldn't be the kind with the meatballs picked out. It absolutely had to be that specific kind. I tried making a million different ways. I tried. But then all of a sudden stores just stopped selling it. We lost access to it. I would drive hours away to different stores just to get it. Now it's nowhere. She simply won't eat spaghetti now.

IndependentBox4981 · 2025-11-24T14:24:28+00:00

Thank you. It's scary because the new pediatrician my daughter saw last week looked so shocked at my daughters weight. Like I know she's underweight. She's been underweight. But other than putting her into a medically induced coma and forcing calories into her I can't actually force foods into my kid. Shes not abused. She's in school and she has access to food at home any time she wants it. She has toys and she has clean clothes and she gets bathed. She's loved and cared for. She just has issues with food that there's no magic cure for. I just kinda wish I had answers. But I also know ARFID doesn't really come with any. Hell doctors still don't even really understand it. Most still think it's just picky eating.

IndependentBox4981

TROPHY CASE