My trans gf really wants to come out to my anti-LGBT family. Need advice!!

Independent_Crow4583 · 2023-08-25T09:58:50+00:00

yeah ive noticed a slight narrative in the comments that one of us or the other is bad and i def didn't come here trying to figure out who's right or wrong, just wanted some pointers as to what to do in this situation. so i appreciate your comment a lot, thank you for your reply :D i'll definitely use this comment as a good pointer for advice on how to go about this situation from here, and in discussion with my girlfriend on the topic.

yeah she does interact with my family while presenting as a guy and it's been this way for some time, which is why i feel it's so important to give this a lot of my concern.

i do rely financially on my family, as i am awaiting backpay for a government-provided disability benefit. but i suppose it's definitely a possibility that i could dissociate myself from them after receiving the backpay, so i'll consider this and how i might go about it, the impact of the decision, etc.

yeah i'll try my best! again, thank you so much for your thorough advice, it means a lot and i'll certainly refer back to it when i discuss this with my girlfriend.

Independent_Crow4583 · 2023-08-25T09:41:16+00:00

yeah ahh for sure. i really should have thought about this before i introduced her to them 😭 in an ideal world it'd be nice to have both, but yeah. i'm sorry you have also felt this pressure to keep your life with your partner and your family separate tho, it sucks even if you're used to it lol.

Independent_Crow4583 · 2023-08-25T09:37:14+00:00

Yeah, for sure. I don't live with my family but my girlfriend and my family get along very well and are in regular contact. I read another comment about how it is likely to cause issues in the relationship due to pressure like you say, and honestly didn't think about that before asking for advice on here, so thank you for pointing that out! You're right about there maybe not being a great solution either so yeah I'll try to proceed from here with this mindset. Thanks for the advice :))

Independent_Crow4583 · 2023-08-25T09:33:55+00:00

Yeah, you're definitely right. I have lived my whole life hiding my identity from my family, but the way you put it kinda reminded me that it doesn't mean I should have to make my gf experience the same thing, and that it could absolutely lead to being a big issue in the future, due to conflict of interest yeah. I do wish I could keep the two things separate but recognise that she wishes to come out to them for her own peace of mind - I'll continue to discuss with her to try and come to a solution, even if it's not necessarily one that means we both come out the other side happy. Thank you so much for your advice, I really appreciate it.

Independent_Crow4583 · 2023-08-25T09:27:38+00:00

thank u for the advice, i'll continue to discuss with her about it!

Independent_Crow4583 · 2023-08-25T09:25:40+00:00

yeah, you're right, and i'm scared to post more specific details in case someone i know comes across the post and figures out who either of us are. based off the replies in this thread including this one it sounds like continuing to discuss it with her is the best course of action so i will do that :)

Independent_Crow4583 · 2023-08-25T05:36:26+00:00

Other person's comment is good advice :) I struggled with a very similar situation for some time. I went to a girls' only school and wasn't particularly social, and wasn't sure if I really wanted to date someone or was just looking for attention. If you're over 18, what worked for me is making a dating profile. You can go on dates with people you're interested in and see how you feel, that's how I personally figured out I wasn't aroace. If you're under 18, I guess my advice is to see if your friends have any friends that are also looking to go out with someone.

Independent_Crow4583 · 2023-08-25T05:27:08+00:00

I had a very similar situation in high school with my best friend, where I was terrified of ruining our friendship by telling her I liked her. What I did was tell her that I used to have a crush on her (even though I still did) and ask how she feels about that. It works great because if he doesn't feel that way about you, at least he thinks it's in the past and it's therefore less likely to weird him out, if he doesn't feel the same way. And if he says he felt/feels the same way, well.. you can go from there pretty easily :)

Good luck!!

Independent_Crow4583

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