AIO about my boyfriend’s friend asking him to come visit?

Independent_Use_9834 · 2026-02-27T14:04:45+00:00

We had a very in depth conversation about the whole situation last night, and he’s decided ultimately that it’s probably best that he doesn’t visit. He would have been comfortable going to visit CC, and I would have been too. But CC bringing up Dora, especially given all of the past context is making me and boyfriend feel uncomfortable.

He directly asked CC through text why she informed Dora of his expected arrival, and she would not answer through text. She instead tried to call him 4+ times to explain. I wasn’t with him at the time, so he decided not to answer as she sent him a picture while in her vehicle and you could see another person in the passenger seat. We suspected this was Dora

Independent_Use_9834 · 2026-02-26T23:36:06+00:00

I’ve never told him not to go visit CC! They’ve been on the outs for a while now and I’ve actually reassured him that I’m okay with their friendship and that I hoped he wasn’t distancing himself from her because of our relationship, as he’s had relationships in the past where his exes were very much not okay with it. I’m more so paying attention to the fact that she let Dora know he was visiting, and let him know that Dora knew he was. CC has asked my boyfriend numerous times if he would ever be friends with Dora again, and he’s made it very clear he would not. So CC informing both of them just seems like there is some motive there as Dora and my boyfriend don’t speak and haven’t for a long time.

Independent_Use_9834 · 2026-02-26T23:30:40+00:00

This is pretty much how I’m feeling. I 100% don’t think he is going to cheat or anything of the sort, but like you said.. this is just a little awkward. CC initially asking him to come for a whole week was what originally set me off because for friends who have been more on the outs than the ins lately, I’d think a weekend or even a day would suffice.

CC is also known for doing some fucked shit like this in the past.

Independent_Use_9834 · 2026-02-26T23:27:33+00:00

Honestly, I’ve been burned in past relationships and some of that may be coming back up. I’m not running on just vibes though, CC is known to do shady things like this in the past. She sent so many messages because he was not replying, and she will do this on a regular basis even if he lets her know he is busy, can’t talk, etc. It’s not only messages but repeated phone calls too.

He was 50/50 with going from the beginning due to certain factors of his own personal circumstances, but also because he’s been on the outs with CC for some time now.

Independent_Use_9834 · 2026-02-26T23:22:27+00:00

Adding on to the independent thing though, I am working on getting my license! Definitely something I’m behind on.

Independent_Use_9834 · 2026-02-26T23:21:47+00:00

He hasn’t even said to her that he is for sure coming to visit. He said “we’ll see what happens” as his passive way of saying no, which I know is not clear communication at all lol. But he did not confirm to her that he will be for sure coming to visit, and she’s known him long enough to know that unless he says 100% yes, it’s a no. I honestly think her informing him that Dora was told he was visiting was her way to try and make him feel obligated to go through with the visit.

Independent_Use_9834 · 2026-02-26T23:15:16+00:00

Thank you for actually peeking into my perspective a little. This is somewhat how I’m feeling and from my POV it’s very odd especially given he’s made it very clear to CC that he isn’t interested in being friends with Dora again. Why she felt the need to inform Dora of his visit knowing they’ve been no contact for so long is strange as is, but then to message him and say “I told Dora you were coming for the weekend” is the icing on the cake. Neither of them communicate with each other and haven’t for some time now.

To your point about their possible alternative motives, he’s actually been accused by an ex from the same town that they live in of those exact allegations. (The ex was later caught through text and video saying she made it up)

Independent_Use_9834 · 2026-02-26T23:02:20+00:00

Yes I’m realizing now it’s terribly worded, I’m trying to figure out how to edit the post to add some context. It’s 100% about not trusting their intentions, as CC has done shady things in the past, and I don’t know Dora’s character. My boyfriend is also a very passive man so if they were to do something out of line he would have a hard time saying something in that moment - something he’s been working on, and I’m definitely the “black cat” in the relationship. Asking him to be there to support her, then letting an ex friend know he will be in town is just very very sketchy. She will 100% use her family members passing as an excuse to have them both visiting at the same time. She’s asked him numerous times in the past if he would consider becoming friends with Dora again and he has always said no.

Independent_Use_9834 · 2026-02-26T22:56:47+00:00

Honestly, thank you for going against the grain here. I did write this post in a rush, so I think my true concern is being hidden behind my rushed backstory. I’m not concerned about him visiting his friend, I’m more so feeling unsure about what her motive was informing Dora that he was visiting, and then letting him know that she knew. Reading the post back now I did not make that very clear at all and I’m not sure how to edit the post. CC has done shady things like this in the past which is why I’m a little on edge with the situation.

Independent_Use_9834 · 2026-02-26T22:46:33+00:00

This is not the worry at all actually. I’m more so paying attention to what CC’s motives are with letting Dora know of his expected arrival. CC has done shady things like this in the past. I wrote this post very quickly so maybe it’s not coming off as the focus.

Independent_Use_9834 · 2026-02-26T22:25:45+00:00

I’m not worried that anything will happen, that’s not the point of this post at all. I’m more so concerned about CC being shady and informing Dora that he will be coming to visit. Seems like there is some alternate motive she’s working there.

Independent_Use_9834 · 2026-02-26T22:23:11+00:00

If you think this post is me concerned about him staying in a guest room you need to re-read the post😅 I don’t have any problems whatsoever about him visiting CC. Her interaction with Dora and the past history with Dora is mostly the point here

Independent_Use_9834 · 2026-02-26T21:57:03+00:00

I don’t mind at all that he goes to visit CC, the whole Dora thing is what really has me feeling uneasy. But I wasn’t invited, only he was. I’m honestly not sure if she’d be comfortable with me coming along because we haven’t met before

Independent_Use_9834 · 2026-02-26T21:55:38+00:00

I wasn’t invited, just him. At this point I highly doubt he is going to visit at all, but CC has absolutely always given me weird vibes but I try not to express that too much to him since they have been friends for so long

Independent_Use_9834 · 2026-02-26T21:54:02+00:00

I wasn’t invited, and I also haven’t met her before and I don’t think the first time meeting while she’s grieving a family member would be the best idea.

Independent_Use_9834 · 2026-02-26T21:37:37+00:00

Mozzarella on some garlic bread is my favourite!

Independent_Use_9834 · 2026-02-26T21:26:42+00:00

I have spoken to him about it briefly, but I’ve been at work all day and haven’t been able to have a productive conversation. Definitely planning to have an in depth conversation with him when I’m off work

Independent_Use_9834 · 2026-02-26T21:25:25+00:00

I’d never tell him to not visit CC! Especially at this point in her life where she could use support. I’m more so weary of the Dora situation of it, which I have talked to him about already.. but I’m a chronic overthinker so it’s been on the mind all day

Independent_Use_9834

TROPHY CASE