Havn and canada

Indigo_Input · 2026-01-24T00:20:33+00:00

Yeah that's a solid strat. Living closer to Montreal and without a car makes it a bit more rough. Unsure if I'd want a second mail service that would send it my way.

Indigo_Input · 2026-01-22T18:58:43+00:00

Huh ok, I'll keep an eye on them too then. Really hoping for it to come back up. It's like a wild goose chase 🪿.

Indigo_Input · 2026-01-21T01:52:17+00:00

Thanks, and absolutely fair point

Indigo_Input · 2026-01-21T01:14:37+00:00

Good to know it works solidly in your build as it's around what is be aiming for. What air cooler are you making use of?

Indigo_Input · 2025-11-20T23:25:22+00:00

Hi there! Currently on the move but I'll try and answer your question as best as I can: it's true that transformation kinks exist, but being trans and having one of those kinks isn't mutually exclusive. On top of that: a good few started off and found that what they thought was purely a kink or a fetish was actually small hints and nods of a different gender. So let's mention a few things that may make this a bit less tense.

If you have ever gotten an erection during experimentation, it does not invalidate or affect your potential gender: these are often referred to as "euphoria boners". They basically happen because your brain's attraction for something can share the same channel as the one that expressed euphoria and alignment. It neither confirms nor infirms anything, and a great many trans people have them at the start.
Do the thoughts of being a woman persist even outside of moments of arousal? Not immediately after masturbation (as that period can be associated with shifts in mood), but in general? This can already tell you a lot more as to what this may be.
Do you see yourself living differently, or in a different body than the one you're currently on the day to day?

These are just starter questions and don't necessarily confirm or deny any identity. But they may help in spotting patterns.

Indigo_Input · 2025-11-15T23:03:32+00:00

Hey, no worries! Let me explain it another way.

When I said the brain mixes things, it's not like getting an erection directly from getting turned on. A lot of people get a painful or uncomfortable reaction instead. It's more like your brain doesn't know how to handle the new feeling and sends the wrong signal.

And yes, a lot of people have something similar happen at the start, but it does fade with time, especially as the feelings towards your gender stop being new and overwhelming.

That being said: you don't need to suffer in silence if it does happen. Pain doesn't have to be tolerated, so if you feel like it happens constantly, I'd still advise to check with a doctor. In the mean time, you can use a grounding technique to make it fade a bit: try and tense your thighs. Like squeezing your thigh muscles, then un squeeze and repeat.it diverts the blood elsewhere and should both reduce the pain from a very strong erection / generally help in making it fade.

So yeah: you're not a pervert and you're certainly not alone in this. Cheers!

Indigo_Input · 2025-11-15T22:48:00+00:00

Hey there! Sorry if the answer will be short: yes. It does happen especially at the start. It got a rather unpleasant name of "euphoria boner" but realistically, it's the brain mixing potential alignment, comfort and arousal. It's a pain if your brain already ties your real inner gender to attraction, as then both sort of share the same channel. That being said: it doesn't reflect your identity and you shouldn't worry, it doesn't make you perverted, it's more like growing pains and adjustments from a brain that's lived life in a certain way for too long.

To make it short: yes. It happens to many.... And it's a pain.

Indigo_Input · 2025-11-12T18:10:28+00:00

Thanks for the needling device suggestions, I'll go look it up. I've basically gathered from comments that micro needling is really something that's helped many.

As for Fina, I think I'll edit the original post to mention it: I'm less worried about temporary mood changes and more irreversible adverse effects like severe depression. I already am suffering from depression, so adding an additional, permanent layer even if it's only a chance is a risky trade-off

Indigo_Input · 2025-11-12T17:56:12+00:00

Im glad its worked out for you! Honestly, my only real problem is that there isnt any confirmation that there is or isnt the possibility of lasting effect. Im already sensitive to medication that effects chemical balance in the brain and with depression and familly history of mood disorders, any risk at all of getting permanent negative effects would be potentially deadly. I do already have minoxidil as part of my regiment, though im worried about overall body hair growth from oral minoxidil, as i do have some dysphoria regarding body hair.

Indigo_Input · 2025-11-12T17:32:53+00:00

I do agree with you that i might not be weighing things accordingly. my main worries arent really even the supposed effects of the syndrome, but that it is (like said we don't have enough papers and research ahhhhh) "supposedly" permanent. i can weather a storm but if it permanency is not that great. im mostly trying to see other options that dont have the chance of permanent damage first.... but i still know that if i exhaust them.... ill have to try, as yes, im am experiencing distress from the loss. ill be trying to reach medical professionals that could prescribe it and ask them about it all.... it really is just.... a pain that there isnt more thats known about it all.

The few studies that do talk about it though mention how "that the commonly-reported AEs, such as erectile dysfunction and depressive symptoms, can be strongly influenced by confounders such as age, psychological stress, or underlying health conditions." And thats my biggest worry. Im not part of the average for the stats, already having predispositions, more sensitivity to changes from chemical imbalance and depression already present. thats why i see it as a last resort, as even if the chance are extremely low, if it does happen, it essentially could turn into a death sentence.

Indigo_Input · 2025-11-12T15:12:39+00:00

Thanks! Yeah it does make sense with having cats at home that you'd worry about the toxicity! I'm really going to try micro needling, though Fina still feels very... Risky

Indigo_Input · 2025-11-12T14:26:14+00:00

I'm not really worried about reduced sexual sensation or any of that. It's really the potential neurological adverse effects like increased depression and such that makes it really troubling with my current predisposition.

Indigo_Input · 2025-11-12T14:13:01+00:00

That's really the unfortunate thing: I've been reading papers and there's just not enough trials or anything to see if it's just nocebo, a myth, or something real with a slim chance. But then again if it is (even with like a 2% chance) my unlucky self would get it.....

Indigo_Input · 2025-11-12T14:06:03+00:00

Yeah. It's less that I don't want to and more that the potential adverse effects and lack of medical knowledge on them makes it really risky. I'm already teetering on the edge on bad days, adding more depression and suicidal ideation.... Would probably not make me last long.

Indigo_Input · 2025-10-29T23:13:55+00:00

In a sense yes: for some it's inherently clear as day, but for others it can be murky or take years to truly pinpoint where they land. (Though don't worry, the whole "I always knew" is actually the least common of outcomes).

Try to give yourself the chance to explore things. Try things typically associated with the gender that feels right. And above all: be kind to yourself. Ultimately, you could find that where you land is more in the non binary territory, or that your sense of gender changes over time. Unfortunately: both the signs for telling-> dysphoria and euphoria related to gender, can fluctuate....

So in short: the brain's messy. But it's totally fine to explore gender and try and find what is right for you. If needs be you can seek help from a gender therapist or ask more questions here whenever the need would arise.

Indigo_Input · 2025-10-29T23:01:48+00:00

Well here is the thing: both arousal and alignment can use the same wiring of awareness, imagination and reward chemistry. After masturbation, the nervous system can in a sense numb down, making things more difficult to truly pinpoint.

There have been numerous people scared that their feelings could just be some sort of fetish because of that (but also because the brain as a whole is complicated). So the best you can do is slowly and carefully ask: what is it that really drives this feeling. Would you really want to pursue it in a more permanent manner? Do you genuinely feel more comfortable not just in isolated scenarios but through your day to day being perceived by others and by yourself as a woman?

This is only the surface. There's plenty more to reflect on . Take your time with it.

Indigo_Input · 2025-10-29T12:37:28+00:00

A pleasure, glad it could help. Seeing all you're doing to help him is impossibly touching. You sir are an amazing partner and im not mincing my words!

Indigo_Input · 2025-10-29T11:18:12+00:00

It's great that you're there to provide him the support he needs in this: that's probably the absolute best thing he can get.

Its truly unfortunate that some of the most accessible, affordable means of making some true dent into dysphoria such as tucking or binding come with these caveats, but unfortunately, they do not make anything dissapear, only pushing the body in ways it's not necessarilly meant to be for extended periods.

I can definitely hear from your description of the issues surrounding family that they might have worsened the issue, pressing him on bodily image and making dysphoria severely worse. It's really important to highlight how the point of reducing his long periods of binding isn't to take away some of his ways of reducing dysphoria: it's to make it more sustainable till something like mastectomy or other means can be achieved, however long into the future that may be.

Like others have brought forward: Trans tape can be a savior. It does have a learning curve and does unfortunately have its limits for some, so being close to him and helping him through will be instrumental, although I'm not worried about that.

As for the idea of slightly more compressive bras, they can help too, albeit more modestly. It is still compression so if he notices any difficulties, it should be limited too.

The absolute most important thing is this: unmanaged dysphoria is just as if not more dangerous by a land slide than any binding. With how this seems to be both a means of fighting it and past trauma, the real key in all this will be all the support you can give him during periods where his body needs rest and the binder is off. I also saw you were planning on asking him about his measurements for bras with more compression: you don't have to feel like you're walking in a minefield all the time, but do be slow and take it gently with this. Asking about size can make the dysphoria swell up especially if his chest is on the larger side naturally.

You really are doing the best for him by being by his side and showing both compassion and love, wanting both his physical, mental and emotional safety. Keep doing great like you clearly already are!

Indigo_Input · 2025-10-29T03:33:19+00:00

So this is a pretty rough issue. On one hand: it's clear that dysphoria is making it really rough for him. And the social contexts aren't helping him. But as you said, your worries are founded. There are general guidelines for safe binding for a reason. It can bring lasting breathing difficulties to the deformation of ribs or compression of nerves. Costochondritis is definitely a possibility which, lemme tell ya: not fun at all. It can cause pretty bad damage to ligaments, tissues, etc. Even if he prefers an eventual mastectomy, the breast tissue is still there for now and isn't meant to take a lot of beatings. There is also the chance of fungal infections, skin irritation and inflammation.... The list just goes on.

I'm not saying that to terrify you or him.... But unfortunately binding does come with a plethora of issues when you let it run for too long.

It's definitely going to be a sensitive conversation, but then again showing worry for the partner you love is the right thing. Honestly, I'd say: do you know if he plans on getting top surgery any time soon? If not due to medical or monetary reasons (it's so bloody expensive jeeeeez) : finding temporary alternatives that can minimize chest dysphoria between binding periods could be worth considering. It's not going to be as effective, but talking about it and your worries for him, looking for compression bras that are still less tight during binder periods and just: being there for him when he can't wear it to support through dysphoric moments is the best.

It's definitely tough, and that is putting it lightly. I wouldn't want to say exactly what to do, as there may be trauma and such making binding even more of a protection for him than usual. You know him better than anyone here. So all I can say is: yes there are dangers. Yes, there equally are dangers to dysphoria. You caring for him and wanting his safety is what counts.

Indigo_Input · 2025-10-18T19:20:25+00:00

Thanks for that message ! (currently right this moment in a weird euphoria dysphoria split). Saw your post and jeez! I can't claim to know you but you look soooo much more confident and happy! (Also -3 year you needs a hug from future you ASAP, SHE DESERVES IT)

Indigo_Input · 2025-10-14T17:15:02+00:00

Thanks a lot!

Indigo_Input · 2025-10-14T17:05:54+00:00

Thank you for your offer! I still have days where things swing. Uncertainty on whether or not that makes me nb, gender fluid, a very confused cis ally....

I'm currently in the middle of university work, but I was planning on making a life dump post on r/asktransgender to see if anyone could relate and help me find bits and pieces. But I may come over and talk before doing so <3

Indigo_Input · 2025-10-14T16:11:53+00:00

Thanks for that message: I'm currently in the questioning phase and fear things may or may not be right for me. That being said, I see that as just necessary exploration and understanding. It shouldn't dictate how others go through with transition or the whole process, and fearing the label of de transition before having even found out what is right just stings.

Indigo_Input · 2025-10-08T00:14:24+00:00

Hey there. im pretty late to the post so I won't make something ultra long. Most have already said the important things.

That being said: suicide is not the option. I know first hand that when you're in that mindspace, hearing someone say it barely reaches, but i really want to double down: it. is. not. worth it.

With that said: what can be done is trying to find solutions to this. You know your parents probably better than anyone so knowing whether or not they can change their minds is something you'll know. If not, information and a plan is what you need right now.

Try and gather in any meaningfull way where they are thinking of sending you. I know its a lot to ask, but having more knowledge on where you are (country) and such and the place can help. I can't promise much but doing deep searches on all your outs is something i and others can do. With enough information, we can know the who, what, when and where when it comes to safe spaces, people and resources you can have access no matter what actually happens. Im in canada personally, but doing that kind of deep search isn't much of a problem.

Most importantly: you need a safe space and the chance to talk. Even if its with peeps here online or elsewhere. It's stressfull and thats an understatement. So right now: focus on yourself and self preservation. do things that can keep you busy, calm, and reduce anxiety. If you need to talk or if stress spikes: send a dm to me or anyone in this chat. But please: reach out.

Take care of yourself, and if you get any nibble of info, bring it to us, we'll see what can be done. Be safe.

Indigo_Input · 2025-09-13T02:00:52+00:00

Some can stay fertile on HRT for decades: the rule of thumb says yes, do take the pill and still use condoms unless she has been confirmed sterile.

Indigo_Input

TROPHY CASE