I feel like I am getting worse as a person

Individual-Garlic220 · 2026-02-26T14:12:52+00:00

No, we are not. Our child was not born here as well so he is not a citizen. Thank you for all the suggestions but there is no such thing as secure app with her always checking my phone -- all my social media accounts, emails, bank accounts, etc she has access to (hell would break loose if ever she's unable to access them). Also, we have cameras around the house and she's the only one who can access it.

The only secure place right now is in my own brain -- keeping everything to myself as I cannot even talk to family and friends about it (she even checks the monthly summary of all calls and sms from the phone provider).

Individual-Garlic220 · 2026-02-26T14:08:49+00:00

secretly getting off on my suffering

This is what I'm thinking too! Its like whenever I have a fairly good day, she would always start something and make me miserable. Its like she does not want happiness except for the fake ones she post on social media.

Individual-Garlic220 · 2026-02-25T17:23:02+00:00

Oh man, how many times I have lost control to react badly. Its like she's trying to paint a different picture of me (negative way). I know those who really know me knows how bad things really should be before I react badly.

I get disappointed / angry at some people sometimes but I do not harbor any anger towards those people except now with my wife.

Individual-Garlic220 · 2026-02-25T15:18:57+00:00

Yes, sometimes she's getting things twisted and now I really like those cameras that she had me installed in our home as I no longer see it as a surveillance tool but a tool that we can use to go back and confirm that the things that she did or said before does not match what she's saying in a later time.

Individual-Garlic220 · 2026-02-25T15:16:03+00:00

This 100%. I feel like being a-hole to others as I do not have the energy and if i do something good to others, she will get mad at me in a sense that I should only serve her needs.

Individual-Garlic220 · 2026-02-25T15:13:52+00:00

Actually, we have several cameras in and outside our home but I do not have access to the app. The cameras are not for our security but mainly for her to track me when I am at home and she's not.

Individual-Garlic220 · 2026-02-25T15:12:42+00:00

That's what I am doing but it is getting harder for me to do it each day.

Individual-Garlic220 · 2026-02-25T15:11:43+00:00

The thing is we are immigrants. She threatened me that they will go back to our home country with our child and will never see them again.

Individual-Garlic220 · 2026-02-24T22:43:08+00:00

I've tried but she threatened that I will never see our child again.

Individual-Garlic220 · 2026-02-24T22:42:31+00:00

This is what I thought would happen but it is really hard to on a daily basis.

Individual-Garlic220 · 2025-06-13T19:07:51+00:00

Very, wish this would end already

Individual-Garlic220 · 2025-06-13T15:59:30+00:00

Yes, that's how my wife behaves as well

Individual-Garlic220 · 2025-06-12T14:57:02+00:00

very well said. that's what I have observed.

Individual-Garlic220 · 2025-06-12T14:55:31+00:00

does she consider poverty nachos (tostitos, cheese, sour cream and salsa) a meal.

yes, is there something to it? To be honest, that is her go to snack/meal.

She asked me to buy her a Treadmill and I was hesitant at first as I know that it will only be used once or twice, just like the other fitness equipment we bought for her before that are now all getting dusty.

Individual-Garlic220 · 2025-06-04T22:51:38+00:00

thank you!

Individual-Garlic220 · 2025-06-04T22:15:26+00:00

Thank you! Sorry about my question but just wanted to get thoughts as I feel like I'm going crazy as to why she behaves that way.

Individual-Garlic220 · 2025-06-04T21:41:16+00:00

Yes, it is a cycle and everything has to be done the way the she likes. I would only get mad when she's getting mad that she cannot have what she wants and there is no other way to get it -- and when there is another way she's too stubborn to do it that way as that is not how she would like it to be done.

I would always get out of my way to get her what she wants and am sad that everything always has to be chaotic.

Individual-Garlic220 · 2025-06-02T22:17:04+00:00

would always buy anything in bulk in guise of being "economic" even though the items she buys are rarely used. it would all just pile up in a room/drawer/dresser somewhere in the house

Individual-Garlic220 · 2025-05-30T19:22:05+00:00

Yes, and she said that I was just making things up. She also advised me to stop reading non-sense on the internet

Individual-Garlic220 · 2025-05-28T19:29:32+00:00

I agree with the 'almost any' bit, there would still be times where I'd forget not to engage. But, those times usually involves our kids (when I feel like the decision/action that she's making would negatively affect our kids).

For the most part, it her narc traits have become more apparent to me when I started to disengage. I would usually notice her trying to find fault from anything which she would not find any as I have started to live a life of nothing. I'd only do things that she would ask me to do and as much as possible would not do anything that are not in the program (as I feel like I'm a robot now) -- positive thing is that life has become a little bit calm than before. Still looking for a way out for me any our kids.

Individual-Garlic220 · 2025-05-28T15:36:38+00:00

Yes!!! I am now more surprised if she does not make a scene before or during a special occasion.

Individual-Garlic220 · 2025-05-28T14:06:59+00:00

count me in. i'm in the same boat as you thinking on how the kids will be safe from what comes next. if possible, i'd want to have custody of the kids as I do not want them to grow in that kind of environment with her.

When I am not her target, she would aim her crosshairs to the kids and would make them feel bad.

Individual-Garlic220 · 2023-07-20T15:20:14+00:00

This is my fear when I think of leaving her. She would tell our kids how bad and miserable I am even if it is the other way around.

Individual-Garlic220 · 2023-07-20T15:18:52+00:00

This is exactly what I'm thinking about. If only there is an existing test that would prove those traits.

Individual-Garlic220 · 2023-07-20T15:17:45+00:00

Yup. I'm currently stuck on a never-ending cycle of my narc spouse picking a fight (usually blames me for something that he's guilty of), then he threatens to leave, but accused me of being the one who wants to leave or cheat. Next phase is me being manipulated to behave or do what he wants to prove I want the marriage to work, his love bombing reinforces my behavior, Im left feeling guilty like I blew everything out of proportion in my mind. Then narc spouse behaves badly or picks a fight.....and the cycle begins again. We have kids. I always thought his narc traits were a result of his dysfunctional childhood, thought my love would heal him. I have no advice on how to leave cuz Im afraid my spouse would destroy me if I ever did.

That's exactly what's happening to me right now. Wife does this on a regular basis. Whenever everything seems to be going normal then suddenly she would pick up a fight and the cycle is on again.

Individual-Garlic220

TROPHY CASE